Page 37 of A Lady's Wicked Revenge
I’ve looked through his study, then, and discovered nothing at all.Diana felt her heart finally slow its frantic tattoo in her chest, terror supplanted by growing despair.What in heaven’s name am I to do now?
She felt Colin sleepily crane his head forward and plant a soft kiss against her cheek. Her thoughts quieted, her heart humming a soft lullaby in their place, and their slow, steady breathing mingled together into an idyllic harmony of slumber.
Chapter 17
Darker Clouds Gathering
“I just don’t understand why you can’t give him the benefit of the doubt for once!”
“Benefit of the doubt? Hah!” Diana’s laugh was mirthless, biting. “I may as well give him that much, too, since he’s taken everything else from me!”
“Marriage is something you must consider at some point. I know it chafes you, but—”
“At some point, Colin, yes. My parents are not yet cold in the ground, but you and your stepfather seem to be in some terrific hurry to push me into matrimony while I am still in the depths of my grief.”
“It’s beenmonths, Diana,” Colin protested. Her mouth snapped shut, brows furrowing with anger. “I know it still hurts, but it’s not as though you’re being shipped off to a stranger’s house the day after your parents’ death. The world is cruel enough that it will not go on waiting for you forever.” The withering glance she sent in his direction confirmed that she had no easy rebuttal for this point, but he was no less wrong for having brought it up.
Colin rubbed his eyes, hoping he might be able to banish the headache that had been plaguing him since they first sat on the yellowing grass beneath the Hanging Tree. For a moment, he blackly wondered whether whatever damned soul had ended his life beneath this tree had done so on account of a stubborn woman.
“Diana …” he started, reaching to hold her hand. She folded her arms to thwart this gesture, but he decided her continued presence beside him was enough leave to continue. “Diana, I just want to help you understand that what my stepfather is doing for you is the same as what he’s done for my mother and me. I know it might seem cruel, but—”
Diana had had enough of listening by this point. “But it’s for my own good, is it? My uncle, whom I scarcely ever met before my parents’ death, is much better equipped to make decisions about my own life?”
“Frankly,yes.” Colin could tell from her appalled reaction that he had made a misstep but could think of nothing to do but go on. “Sir James Leeson knows more than you—than either of us, than anyone our age—about what one needs to survive in this world. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the ton is a treacherous thing. One misstep could mean personal ruination. You need to be aware of all manner of ancient alliance and financial situations and … and family reputations!”
“None of which is relevant if my guardian is thinking of his own advancement rather than my best interests.”
“He’s built himself up from nothing,” Colin exhorted her, ignoring her barbed comment. “He went from having not a penny to his name to being an important London gentleman, all through nothing more than his own hard work and business acumen—”
“And a good share of money from my mother and father. Don’t forget that.”
Colin seethed, fighting not to roll his eyes.This again.At times, he felt Diana was simply waiting for an opportunity to repeat this calumny she had overheard from her friend Mister Arnold. “Blast it, Diana, whatever his circumstances, Sir James knows what one needs to succeed in this world. Like it or not, the law says that a woman cannot inherit her parents’ property, and she needs a husband if she is to participate in our society.”
“What if the law is wrong?” Diana snapped. “What if it’s bloody foolish that a woman is kept in bondage to a man, any man, who may be a bigger fool than she herself? You’ve known some right idiots, Colin … does that strike you as in any way just?”
“No, in fact. It can be terribly unjust. The law is like that, sometimes. But must you fight a philosophical battle, one you have no hope of winning, against your own guardian just because you do not like the law?”
“If my guardian is the one imposing this wrongdoing upon me? How could you even think otherwise?”
Diana fixed him with a scathing look, one that cut Colin in a way he had not anticipated. “You are an intelligent man, Colin.”
“Thank you,” he cut in, though his heart was not with the joke that had so neatly presented itself. He looked away, his eyes examining the trio of crows that had descended on the limb of a nearby tree to sound their mournful calls.
“But somehow, you have determined someone in your own house is exempt from the reason and cunning I see you turn on every other subject on God’s earth. Why is that, Colin? I know your stepfather has been good to you and your mother—or you say he has, at least. But surely one act of generosity does not vindicate other bad acts.”
He turned back to Diana, his eyes growing hot with anger. “Diana, if you mean to impugn the good character of Sir James Leeson, after he has done so much for—”
She stopped him with a raised hand. “I’m doing no such thing, Colin. I am speaking only of his actions towards me, not his character in general. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that you honestly believe he wants nothing more than to secure my safety and happiness for the future? Even if it means a lifetime of marital misery with Mister Gerard Dull?”
Colin opened his mouth to confirm this characterisation, then closed it again, unable to agree with her charge and infuriated at himself for this inability. “Mister Dull—I meanDunn…” Colin fumbled. “He is not a bad sort for a third son of a wealthy family. I’ve known far worse—”
“He’s not a bad sort for a perfectly serviceable silver tea service if not nearly as well-spoken,” Diana quipped. Colin stifled a laugh, trying to maintain what meagre ground he still had in the argument. But now, he could see the tears gathering in Diana’s eyes, and he felt his reason flee his mind completely.
“Don’t you …?” she began to ask, then stopped with what looked like tremendous effort.Is there really something the woman thinks that she dares not say?Colin thought with bitter wonder.Whatever might it be …?
Shaking her head, Diana continued, “Marriage is not just some business arrangement for the sake of distant relatives, Colin. It’s a real decision that affects the real life of real people. Whoever it is I marry, I must spend all the rest of my days with him.
Don’t you think love—real,truelove—is worth at least seeking in such an endeavour before abandoning in favour of money and security? Even if it’s impossible to find such a thing more than once—or even just once,” she hastily appended, “isn’t it a perfect enough good in this horrid world that it’s worth fighting for?”
