Page 34 of Tutoring a Lady into Sin
“I see,” he said, then he cleared his throat. “I apologise for my behaviour, Lady Christianna. I should not have overstepped. We both determined that kissing again was out of the question, and I suppose I just allowed myself to get carried away by the heat of the moment.”
“But of course, Doctor Radcliff,” Christianna agreed at once. “That is exactly what I was thinking must have happened too. We both just got swept away—”
“Do accept my apologies, but I feel I must return to the house now,” Phineas interrupted abruptly.
“All right,” Christianna said as she nodded up the pathway. “Shall we take the way back together or…?”
“No.” His tone was so sharp it could have sliced through a loaf of bread. “Excuse me,” he grumbled. Then, in a much nicer tone, he said, “I think I would like to be alone now.”
He did not give her the option of arguing. With that pronouncement, Phineas turned on his heel and stalked away, using the shortcut he had employed when he came upon her earlier. She did not know her way through the labyrinthine passages of the gardens yet and decided that even though she wanted to follow right along after him, it was prudent to give him his space and stick to the path she had already trodden.
Christianna hesitated a moment to straighten the front of her dress, then took a step back toward the house. She realised, as she did so, that this was the first time since she had come to Bixby Hall, she was consciously deciding to move in the opposite direction and away from Doctor Radcliff. And that made her soul feel ill at ease.
Chapter 14
Coddled eggs…toast…a rasher of bacon.
Phineas stared at his plate, which was loaded with food, but he found the lot of it repulsive.
I can’t eat a thing.
All night, the scene in the garden with Christianna played repeatedly in his head, and each time, right as he relived the portion where she pushed him away, he was overcome by a sick sense of sadness.
I should not have acted as I did. I made things awkward between the two of us and…
“Lord Phineas, did you hear what I said?”
He peered over at the lady who was seated to his right. He could not place her name this morning, which was very unusual, for he prided himself on never forgetting a name or a face. But now, everywhere he looked, he only saw Christianna…only wanted to speak to Christianna…and this woman at his side was no substitute at all.
“I did not,” he said in an apologetic tone. “Was there something you needed of me, my lady?”
“I was asking how you liked the dancing last night,” the young woman said as she reached for a bit of toast and spread some marmalade on it.
“Was there dancing last night?” Phineas questioned. His memory had wiped clean all that had led up to the encounter he had in the garden with Christianna.
She was out there because of Percy…because he had once again disappointed her.
He swung his gaze to the head of the breakfast table where Percy was holding court. Since this was a less formal meal than last evening’s, seating had not been predetermined. That meant two ladies were able to vie for the places closest to the duke. One was a lady Phineas could not name if he tried, and the other was… Christianna.
But of course…Of course, she would return to him now that she has cast me aside.
Phineas chided himself for such thinking because he knew it was not as simple as all that. He and Christianna were friends, but they were also engaged in a mentor-and-pupil-type relationship. He had mistakenly crossed the line with her last night, and he could, and perhaps should not, blame her for indulging in the kissing. It had felt magnificent to hold her in his arms, and he wondered how she was reacting to thetête-a-têtethis morning.
But when Phineas snuck a glance at Christianna, she was not paying him any attention at all. Instead, she was fixated on Percy, watching him as he retold the tale of the time he saved a person from drowning in the lake. Percy had only been twelve years old, and he had heard someone screaming for help. He rushed to the water’s edge, dove right in, and minutes later, pulled the crying child to the shore.
It had been a very brave thing for him to do, but Phineas never looked at his brother as though he were a hero, as everyone else did every time he told this tale. He preferred to think that Phineas just did what anyone else would do, given the circumstances. If it had been him down at the lake that day, Phineas would have plunged in to rescue the younger child because that was what one did when someone else was in trouble. They offered their assistance.
And look where my need to please and help others has gotten me… I am all alone, unnerved because the lady I want, and cannot have, is enraptured by my brother of all people.
Phineas gave a disgruntled snort, and knowing that he was being terribly rude by walking away from the young lady at his side who had just asked him a question, he strode from the breakfast room anyway. He turned instinctively toward the library but changed his mind.
She might go there after breakfast. I do not wish to bump into her now in our place.
Phineas cringed at his own thoughts.
Our place? But this is my childhood home, and in just five days, it will be the place where Christianna and Percy preside over as man and wife.
Bile rose in Phineas’ throat, and he was suddenly very glad he had not endeavoured to eat anything at breakfast. He raced from the house and was compelled to head out into the garden but was stung by the rejection from last night.
