Page 58 of A Governess' Unbridled Passion
“Miss Alice Evans, you can do this,” Clara said with a firm voice. “You are from the gentry yourself, so you are only in your rightful place. It is only circumstances that puts you among servants.”
“I have never thought of it like that, Clara,” Alice said, her voice breaking as she swallowed hard. “I am more at home with servants, who are my friends, than I am with those people down there, who are strangers.”
“Your friends are with you and all around you, that is the very nature of servants,” Clara reminded her. “They are all watching out for you, now go and do this; if not for yourself, then do it for them.”
They had almost arrived at the top of the main staircase. Any moment now, Alice knew she couldn’t back out because the people would be able to see her.
“It is time to put the mask over your face, Miss Alice, and stand tall,” Clara said as they arrived at the top step. “I must leave you now but go slowly down the stairs so that you don’t take a tumble.”
Alice nodded, tying the ribbons at the back of her mask so no one would recognise her. As she reached the bottom step, William came over to her and spoke.
“This way, My Lady,” he said, accompanying her into the ballroom. Then he whispered, “I will leave you now, but fear not; I am never far away.”
She had done it, or rather, they had done it. Alice stood in the centre of the lords and ladies as they bustled about her. The music and dancing had started, and everyone was too busy being entertained to pay her any attention. Taking a few moments to observe them, Alice took a few steps at a time as she moved, looking around to locate the duke.
The musicians were wonderful, their music ringing around the hall as the people danced. The décor was magnificent, with hanging flowers and golden leaves. The group of musicians was quite small. She could see a pianist, a violinist, someone with a cello, and another with a cornet, and what wonderful players they were.
It was the first time she’d seen a ball at Haroth Hall and even longer since she’d attended a ball herself. She’d forgotten what a glamorous affair it could be. Looking up, she could see the huge, candled chandeliers, with hundreds of candles lit and flickering with life.
The fancy oil lamps were set upon the walls, creating shadows in the tall ceiling. The long, heavy, deep red drapes hung on the floor-to-ceiling windows. They were hung with bows and other colourful regalia. She shivered as she felt a breeze from an open window because it was a truly wonderful sight.
But she must be careful not to show her surprise; it would make her stand out too much. Yet she couldn’t stop staring at the ladies, all looking very beautiful in their flowing, colourful ball gowns.
Every gentleman appeared smart. Most wore long-tailed jackets, tightly fitting pants, waistcoats, and fine-looking cravats. It was so very grand, but then Alice remembered that at least she looked the part, thanks to her friends.
The hall was heaving with people, all invited by Lady Davina. Alice couldn’t help admiring the French woman’s ability to throw a ball. That was when she heard the familiar French-accented voice, causing a chill to run down her spine.
Quickly, she put a good distance between herself and Lady Davina as she approached one of the stewards to take a glass of white wine from the silver tray. He winked at her, and she smiled in response. Clara had told her the truth when she said the servants were all around her, and every one of them would help her should she need it.
Alice wore a pair of long, white, lacey gloves upon her arms. She longed to itch at her left elbow, but instead, she tried not to think of it because it wouldn’t look very dignified if she were to do so. Instead, she took a sip from her wine glass, and for once in her adult life, she was starting to feel as if she might belong.
Something felt so right, being among the gentry. Clara had been correct when she’d said that Alice was born of the gentry; her father had been a wealthy merchant.
Thoughts of her parents came to mind. How her mother had stayed living at the farmhouse while her father had travelled the world with his business dealings. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she had few memories of them together. Perhaps they’d fallen out of love, which was a sad thought for Alice.
When her mother passed away, her brother stayed on the farm. But her father had insisted she attended a school for girls. In a way, that had been the making of her, receiving a full education. Her father had been preparing her for a life among the gentry. And even after he passed away, her aunt was also part of the gentry.
I must not have been destined to marry a gentleman,she sighed, thinking that she’d not had any control over what had happened to her in the past.But I have some control now, and if I don’t want to be a mistress, then I will need to leave this wonderful place that I call my home and all my friends. I’m not so sure I can do that.
Alice’s mind was so conflicted that she hadn’t noticed a young gentleman observing her. Not wanting to draw the attention of any but the duke, she moved on and lost herself in the crowd. The last thing she wanted was to be asked to dance by anyone else. She didn’t even know if she could dance anymore, and that thought set off another panic in her head.
Oh Lord, what if I make a fool of myself by doing all the wrong steps?she imagined, trying to recall all the dancing lessons she’d had at the school for young ladies. Plus, she’d attended a few balls in her youth but never acoming-outball because her aunt had died. Up until now, it hadn’t bothered her, but she might have been married by now if she had.
Why am I worrying over things that were never meant to be?Her thoughts whirled as she looked around to ensure no other gentlemen were eyeing her.
She also needed to make sure she was nowhere near Lady Davina. All looked clear, so she remained standing still for a while, sipping her wine glass.
I have to stop doing so much thinking and find the duke. Otherwise, this whole charade will be for naught,she convinced herself and began to look around for him.
There were too many people in the crowd, and she stopped for another rest as the next dance started. After finishing the glass of wine, she went to get a second one.
“Careful, Miss Alice, that stuff can go to your head,” the steward said with a cheeky smile.
Alice returned his smile, but she didn’t answer him. It might give her away if she were to speak with a servant. Instead, she wandered off, but she knew he was right; she would only pretend to drink from this glass in case she ended up tipsy. It would be bad enough dancing when she was so out of practice, so she’d do well to keep her head clear.
As another gentleman looked as if he was approaching her, she opened her fan, sending out a message that she wasn’t available. Sighing with relief when he veered in another direction, she was thankful that at least she could remember most of the signalling moves of a fan.
Once again, Alice stopped to look around and make it appear she was sipping her wine. Some guests were going through to eat the nibbles set out in the dining room. Alice’s churning stomach couldn’t hold any food yet, so she remained where she was, nervously holding her glass close to her mouth. She really needed to find the duke and make all this effort worthwhile.
