Page 49 of A Governess' Unbridled Passion
Phillip stood up and glared at her, “Eli is no servant, and you would do well to remember that and treat him with the respect he deserves.”
“I am the one who is not being given the due respect!” she sobbed, although Phillip sensed it was a fake sob, purely for dramatic purposes. “I have completed my side of the bargain and done exactly what I set out to do to help you return to English society. And now you are ignoring all your guests who have answered my call to assist us with hosting a ball for you.”
“A ball, might I add, Davina, you did not see fit to inform me about,” Phillip barked, trying to hold back his agitation.
“We have spoken of it but have not moved forward with the planning,” she sobbed again. “This gathering is here to help us do that. And what do you do? You snub them all.”
“I have done no such thing,” Phillip said, realising that might be what the guests were thinking too, though he had no care what Lady Davina was thinking. “I will be along presently. There was an urgent matter to discuss with Eli, but we are finished for now. Please, Davina, lead the way.”
Taking a deep breath, he followed in her wake and mingled among his noble neighbours. Perhaps a ball was a good idea, and he wondered if Miss Alice could attend. He couldn’t quite remember all the etiquette of social ways in England. As far as he was concerned, Miss Alice was not a servant, so he saw no reason why she shouldn’t be present. Yes, a dance or two with Miss Alice would soothe his soul.
As he mingled, listening to all the advice the ladies kindly shared with him on hosting a ball, Phillip knew he was drinking too much rum. But he had to; it was the only way to get through this fiasco. He wanted the estate to prosper for the children’s sake. Still, he wished there was a way he could avoid social events and simply hide away in the company of Miss Alice.
Chapter 25
Pacing around her bedchamber, Alice couldn’t still her mind that night. She hadn’t meant to be so abrupt with Lord Phillip … but ... maybe it was for the best. She should stop encouraging him into her bed because she wanted to be nobody’s mistress.
She could hear echoes of laughter and voices from the evening’s event that unfolded downstairs. It seemed to her that either Lord Phillip was an outright rake and a liar, or he was completely out of touch with English etiquette. Why else would he have asked her to attend the soiree he was hosting? Surely, he knew that a governess was only a glorified servant, not someone to mingle with his wealthy guests.
“Or had he invited me so that he could show me off as his mistress?” she questioned herself, continuing to pace the floor.
“I should leave Haroth Hall. That is the only answer,” she whispered, pressing her knuckles to her lips in angst.
I am sorry little Jacob. I know I have been by your side since you entered this world, but it is time for me to move on, she mulled over as she took a seat on a chair, fidgeting her hands.
Standing back up again, she went to get undressed and put on her night clothes. She wanted to feel the warmth of her blankets but didn’t blow out the candle, not yet … her mind was too troubled.
I would miss the children terribly, but what else can I do?She dwelled on the thought, laying her head on the softness of her pillow.
Alice wasn’t in the mood to read, and besides, the candle had almost burned itself out. Instead, she lay still in bed trying to come up with a solution because the thought of leaving only broke her heart.
Why … why … why did I have to go and believe that you loved me?Alice gasped at her stupidity.
It made her feel nauseous at the thought of what she’d done … what she’d allowed him to do to her …
Tossing and turning in her bed, her worries only led to her restlessness.
“I have to leave. It is the only way I can put Phillip behind me,” she said out loud, wondering if that might be the only answer. “I let you fool me,” she whispered. “When all the time, Phillip, you were planning to marry that damn French woman!”
I wish that you had never come here.Alice quietened her thoughts.I wish that your brother had just returned home that day, and then none of this would be happening, and he would still be alive.She sobbed a little, remembering the death of the late duke. At least then, her life had been uncomplicated.
Think of the children,Alice’s thoughts changed direction, trying another tactic on herself.How will they fare without me? I know their uncle will love them, but what of her, their soon-to-be stepmother? She’ll send me away; I know she will. But I can’t stop that from happening anyway. Yes, that’s the only answer; I have to leave … and sooner rather than later.
With that decision resolved in her head, Alice closed her eyes and attempted to sleep, but her mind was still in turmoil.
I will miss them so very much ... And I will miss him too …
As quickly as thoughts of Lord Phillip entered her head, she pushed them away, not wanting to think about him. If she left Haroth Hall, in time, the memories of their lovemaking would fade, she was sure that was how it all worked.
* * *
Alice hadn’t even realised that she’d drifted off to sleep until something odd woke her. Half asleep, she felt a tugging on her blankets, and it caused her to sit up in fear. A thumping in her ears alerted her that she was in danger, and she felt a tightness in her chest. She’d never felt fear like it, and as she became more alert, she was sure that someone was in her room.
All she could see was darkness because her eyes hadn’t adjusted yet, so she did what came instinctively, “Who’s there?” she called out. “What do you want? I know that …”
She didn’t get to finish her words as a finger pressed on her lips, and she instantly knew who it was.
“What are you doing in my room in the middle of the night, Lord Phillip?” she asked, taking in the strong smell of alcohol.
