Page 19 of An Earl's Scandalous Return
Arabella pulled her hand out of his arm, put her hands on her hips, and followed next to Edward’s quick pace down the street. “Do you think the Duke of Gloucester changed his mind about paying to keep it secret? Perhaps he has permitted the two of them to marry after all?”
Edward frowned, and she noticed the familiar line that formed between his brows. But this time, instead of earlier in bed at breakfast, she resisted the urge to reach out with her fingertips to touch him, to smooth it.
I will never be the one to smooth his concerns ever again. He looks at me as though I am a strange creature, something he might like to squash under his bootheel.
“No, I don’t think so. Surely, Alvin would have attempted to get word to you. He knew in which inn we were staying.”
Edward shrugged, pausing and turning to face her.
“Perhaps he could have sent it, though, to keep Lady Jacinda’s name out entirely. Even if she breaks the engagement, the whisper of that scandal is still attached to her. Her father could have thought it a good idea to pay the first payment until all the heat of the scandal has died down.”
“Yes, that’s very true.” She sighed and rubbed a finger on her temple.
It was all too much. She had this drama to deal with, as well as the fact that she and Edward had kissed last night like two people madly in love. Or rather, perhaps one person. For as she looked at him there in the afternoon light, looking dashing with his light blue waistcoat, dark blue coat, and buff breeches stuffed into black Hessians, she knew.
She knew that her love for him had never died away. Even now, he was showing her why she had loved him so desperately. He was quick, intelligent, and thoughtful. He was not rash, except for perhaps when he’d kissed her back before his large humiliating moment of regret.
“Let’s return to the inn,” she said, feeling a little dizzy with it all. “It will be a long journey to Kent on the morrow, at least a few days, correct?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“I think we should rest and eat. Well, I can only speak for myself, of course.” She smoothed her skirts and stared off, waiting for his reply.
“Quite.”
She cleared her throat, and they began their journey back to the inn. She paused, however, when Edward grasped her wrist and placed it on his arm. Something thickened in her throat as she watched her gloved fingers spread over his coat sleeve.
This is how it could have been. And now, all I want is for it to be over. He does not love me, and I will soon begin to show my feelings without my intent. It will be far too humiliating, and I cannot bear the thought of it.
Back at the inn, they ate comfortably enough, discussing neutral matters until Edward retired to bathe, and then when she returned to the room, she found him in a cushy armchair by the fire, his boots up on an ottoman.
“I requested it from a room downstairs,” he said by way of explanation, not looking at her. “It will be … easier this way if I sleep here.”
Arabella was glad he did not look her way, for tears stung her eyes as she made a sound of assent and went behind the screen to dress as best she could on her own without a maid. And then, she slid into bed and turned away from him.
Just a few more days, and it will all be over. At least we will find out the truth of Gregory. And then I can go home, and all will be as it was.
The next morning, they left early and rode for many hours in silence while each of them read. But Arabella could feel the memory of the kiss in bed like it had just happened. As she tried to read, her mind attempting to focus, she could sense Edward’s eyes on her and her mouth. Every time she licked her lips or bit the bottom lip, Edward shifted on his seat. But every time she looked up, he was reading comfortably, as if fully ensconced in his book.
It was frustrating, for as she read, she couldn’t help noting just how many times his knee brushed against hers whenever the carriage went over a bump. It was a foolish, overly sensual thing to think, but it reminded her hotly of the way his hardness had felt against her body, the evidence of his desire.
She had felt it before, in the garden, and her lady’s maid had giggled at her, asking what it might be. But then she’d explained in full, and Arabella had been imagining it ever since. She had seen it before on sculptures of naked heroes but never on a real man.
When Edward had left for the Continent, she’d wondered if she’d ever have that with any man, but now that his lips had touched hers again and his body had pressed tightly to hers, she knew it was only him she wanted. Only his body inside of hers.
Quiet your thoughts! You are reading, nothing more!
But even as she turned her mind to her book, she pressed one gloved hand against her warm, flushed cheek, wondering if perhaps it was not desire that plagued her but some fateful illness.
Perhaps I will die and then be free of this torment,she thought petulantly.
Again, she felt his eyes on her, and just to test her theory, she slowly licked her bottom lip, pretending it was a habit while deep in thought. She thought, but could not be certain, that she heard a soft gasp from Edward’s side of the carriage. And then, she pulled her bottom lip under her teeth, and Edward cleared his throat.
Her eyes darted upwards, but yet again, she could see that his gaze was on his book and not on her. But there was a decided flush to his own cheeks, she thought with some satisfaction. And she realised that in the space of an hour, there had been not one sound of someone turning a page.
He was not immune to her. That realisation made a little vengeful spirit spark into life inside her. Even if, at the end of it all, they would go their separate ways, and she would do her best to avoid him, there was no harm in teasing him a little, making him want just as much as she did. With that, and without having read the full contents of the page, she flicked it to the side, her own plans brewing in her mind.
Chapter 21
