Page 79 of An Earl's Christmas Seduction
“No… not for one moment. I… if only I’d known…” he stammered, a surge of guilt welling up inside him.
But Amelia shook her head.
“You didn’t know, and she played you for a fool, just as she played me for a fool, too. But none of it matters now. It’s all over,” Amelia said.
Nicholas nodded, even as he feared it might truly be.
“Amelia…I’m sorry for what happened. And I’m sorry I let it go on for as long as it did. I was wrong about so many things, and I hope…well, I hope you can forgive me,” he said.
She smiled at him and nodded.
“There’s nothing to forgive, It’s just an understanding to be reached. And I think we’ve reached it, don’t you?” she said.
She set the tray aside, reaching out to take his hand in hers. A shiver ran through him, their eyes meeting in a loving gaze.
“I really am so very sorry. But I hope… all this… perhaps it can bring us closer together,” he said, and leaning forward, he kissed her.
Their lips lingered together, the grip of their hands growing stronger, his own arousal growing. But this was not the kiss of snatched passion, as passionate as it was. This was a kiss to signal a new beginning, one unencumbered by the past. It was a kiss of love, the expression of a love growing stronger with every passing moment. It was a kiss to signify all that had passed, and all that was to come; a kiss he never wanted to end.
“Nicholas, I…” Amelia said, as their lips parted, their foreheads resting together.
“Amelia… you don’t need to say anything,” he replied, but she sat back and shook her head.
“But I want to. I want you to know I’ve left the past behind. I know what I experienced in the church, and perhaps I was delusional from the cold, but I heard Rupert’s voice. I won’t ever forget him, but I can’t let the past prevent my happiness. You don’t have to fear…” she said, and Nicholas nodded.
He had been worried about Amelia in so many ways. But in particular, Nicholas had feared her clinging to the memory of Rupert. She could not love him if she still gave her loyalty to a man who was never coming home. But to hear her words, and see the sincerity on her face, made him realize the past truly was left behind for them both. He smiled at her and leaned forward to kiss her again.
“Then I promise you I won’t, and I promise you the same when it comes to Constance. She’s gone, and all that matters is you,” he said, as their lips parted.
She squeezed his hand in hers, and for a few moments, they sat in silence, realizing, it seemed, what now lay ahead. They were free to express their love for one another, to declare it publicly, and for the whole world to know the truth. Nicholas was no longer held back by his past. He knew everything, and, in that truth, there was liberation, too.
“Then what happens now?” Amelia asked, and Nicholas pondered for a moment.
“Well… I suppose we wait for the snow to clear, and then… oh, but it can’t be goodbye, Amelia. I don’t want it to be. I want to be with you, and I hope… I hope you feel the same,” he said, and she smiled.
“I do,” she replied, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
In his pocket, he had a small piece of mistletoe, taken from one of the bunches in the drawing room, and taking it out, he held it aloft, causing Amelia to laugh.
“I know it’s foolish, and we’ve already shared a kiss, but… well, happy Christmas, Amelia,” he whispered, leaning forward and kissing her again.
He was about to tell her he loved her, but before he could say anything else, footsteps clattering on the landing announced a visitor, and without a knock the door flew open. Amelia’s maid entered the room.
“Oh, my Lady, how sorry I am. I left for the village as they were serving luncheon yesterday. I was invited to the home of one of the stableboys and his family. I didn’t even know you were missing,” Elsie exclaimed, hurrying towards the bed with a look of horror on her face.
“It’s all right, Elsie. I’m feeling much better now. Really, I am,” Amelia said, as Nicholas pulled back, embarrassed at their having been caught in a moment of such intimacy.
The maid now fussed around her, ignoring Nicholas, who rose to his feet.
“I’ll come and see you later, Amelia,” he said, and Amelia smiled.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and Nicholas now left the room, pausing on the landing with a sigh.
He loved her. There could be no doubt about that, and it seemed she felt the same about him, too. He wanted to marry her, to declare his love for her publicly, and to prove to everyone he was not the man they thought he was. No longer would he be a recluse, shutting himself away from the world and smiling to himself, he rejoined the guests, knowing a better future lay ahead.
Chapter 26
“Out in the cold all night…found on the steps of a church sanctuary…carried back through the snow…oh, my Lady… it’s too terrible for words,” Elsie said, as the Nicholas left the room.
