Page 75 of A Baron's Scandalous Quill
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Where is she?
William stood from the tea table. He was not sure how long he’d been sat here talking to Alexander. They’d flowed from one conversation to the next with ease, finding a surprising amount in common.
“Forgive me, Alexander. I’ll be back shortly.”
“Of course.” Alexander moved to sit beside his mother. Now she had long finished crying, he took his mother’s hand and offered some silent comfort.
William smiled at the two of them together. It was a sweet moment, before he turned his back and walked out of the room.
In the entrance hall, he found Henry. He was sitting on the staircase on the bottom step, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the light marble floor.
“Henry? Where’s Becca?”
Henry looked up from where he sat and gestured to the front door.
“She left?” William moved to the door and flung it open, staring out into the rain. It was throwing it down, with each drop large as they fell into the puddles growing on the pebbled track at the front of the house.
“She left some time ago, my lord.” Henry’s words made William back away from the door. He didn’t bother to close the door but stared out at the rain.
“She went out in that? She was so determined to get away she walked out inthis?”
“I don’t think it was about determination so much as being resolved.” Henry sighed and stood, crossing the room toward William. “She said she’d miss you.”
William felt a sudden lump in his throat. Surprisingly, he couldn’t turn to meet the gaze of his friend. He continued to stare out into the rain, thinking of the moments he had spent with Becca the night before. It wasn’t just about the pleasure; it was about the minutes afterward as well, how they had laid in one another’s arms, fingers exploring bare skin, lips kissing. That intimacy had been unlike anything he had ever known before.
It was hard to believe she had now walked away out into that rain. He knew what it meant. It meant such intimacy couldn’t be enjoyed between them again.
“She’ll send her work to you, my lord. She said as much.”
“That’s not what worries me,” William murmured.
“I know.” Henry nodded his head solemnly. “I am sorry, my lord. If I had known what bond would grow between you…”
“No, don’t apologize for introducing us, Henry.” He shook his head. “You introduced me to someone who has changed my life. She was the one who got us on this track, was she not? She found my mother’s letters to Lord Longfellow. She was the one who pushed it each step of the way, and without her, I wouldn’t know everything I know now. I would be without these truths in my life.”
“Still, what is between you—”
“I wouldn’t be without that either,” William said strongly. He reached for the door and slowly closed it, shutting out the rain beyond. “I know what I am, Henry. I know the ridiculousness of being born into theton,the expectations on one’s shoulders, where one should and shouldn’t look when it comes to marriage.” He thought of his mother and father, the cruelty that was bestowed on their shoulders when they could not be together.
It seems the past is always destined to repeat itself.
“But I am glad I have at least experienced what true love is, even if it was so brief a taste.”
“Love?” Henry repeated, his voice deep.
William couldn’t look his friend in the eye as he walked past him, intent on returning to the others.
“Yes, that is what it is.” He was in no doubt about it. His heart ached, knowing Becca had walked out of the door, and he felt crippled into pieces knowing that someday he would have to marry another besides her.
I do love you, Becca. I just wish I had told you that before you left.
He returned to the front room, where he found Lord Longfellow laughing with Alexander and Sarah.
“I was saying, William,” Lord Longfellow beckoned him forward, standing, “it’s right that Alexander should see his new home. Perhaps when the rain stops, we can take him there.”
“Yes, of course. I warn you of one thing, though.” William cleared his throat, hoping he could somehow clear his mind with the action and concentrate on the here and now, ignoring the ache in his chest that had come with Becca’s parting.
