Page 59 of A Baron's Scandalous Quill
She held onto him and squeezed tight, knowing that any moment, Lord Longfellow would return with champagne, and she’d have to let go of him again.
***
“Becca? You are very quiet this evening. Is all well?” Her father leaned toward her from the head of the table, placing a hand over hers. She looked up at him through the candlelight. Concern was etched in his features, and he had barely taken a sip of his usual claret. “You have not touched your food. Are you feeling unwell?”
“No, no, I am perfectly well, thank you.” She brushed off his concern and forced a smile, for she knew what was wrong was a problem with her mind and not her bodily health.
Since she had left Lord Longfellow’s house that afternoon, everything had changed. All the way back to her road, William had spoken of his father, of the relief of discovering he was not George’s kin after all. He’d even confessed that he feared one day becoming George as they shared the same blood, but now he had the comfort of knowing that was impossible, as well as the comfort of knowing that his mother had been loved.
He and Lord Longfellow were clearly both eager to know one another properly from now on. Over lunch, they had discussed their likes and dislikes, discovering they both had a great fondness for the countryside and good books, but both felt seasick if they ever went out on water. They had made arrangements for the rest of the week, to see each other every day, and William had even asked why Lord Longfellow kept himself a recluse.
“I live life my own way these days. There didn’t seem to be much point of going out to events and parties, when the one face I wanted to see there would no longer be there. Anne.”
“Becca?” Frederick’s voice brought her back to their dinner, and she forced another smile. “You do seem lost this evening. Come, talk to me of what is wrong. You spend so much time out of the house these days. I feel as if you are slipping away. Talk to me.”
“I’m not slipping away, Father.” She turned her hand over and grasped his hand as she pushed away her dinner plate with her other palm, having no wish to eat this evening. “It’s just that something has happened.”
“Something you will not tell me about, will you?” Frederick sighed loudly. “I was young myself once. I certainly didn’t tell my father everything that happened to me when I was your age, but I wish you would tell me a little more. I worry for you otherwise.”
“Well, perhaps you could give me some advice.” She turned in her seat to fully face her father. “What do you make of theton?”
“Theton?” He frowned at once. “You know what I make of them.”
“No, Father. Seriously. I have heard you disparage the wealthy clients who refuse to pay, who think they’re entitled to lawyersworking for them for free just because of the manner of their birth, but they cannot all be like that, surely?”
“Before I answer, where has this question come from?” Frederick asked seriously, his frown growing worse.
“For Charlotte’s sake.” Becca lied fast. “She has become acquainted with someone in theton,and I wish to counsel her properly about the…friendship.”
“The friendship, eh?” Frederick shook his head. “Oh dear. Charlotte is not in trouble, is she?”
“Not that kind, no,” Becca assured him quickly. Whenever they spoke of a woman being with child, out of wedlock, these were the words used. ‘She was in some trouble,’ as if the manner of carrying a child was not up to the man involved but all her own doing. “It’s just I wish to be wise. Something that concerns me is how separate our worlds are. I mean the world of theton,the gentlemen, the ladies, and someone of our class.”
“We’re hardly beggars, Becca,” he said with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “We do well enough.”
“I know, but that’s not what I mean. I am very grateful for the good fortune we’ve had in life, but I am concerned that the worlds are separate for a reason.”
“You want my advice? Very well.” He released her hand and lifted his claret to his lips, taking a gulp before pulling his chair a little around the table, to sit closer to her.
“I would not disparage everyone in thetonI ever met. I encountered many a goodly gentleman in my time working for theton.They were kind, well-mannered, and did right by our business arrangements. I met fine ladies, too, who thanked me for my work and were always respectful. Equally, for every good man and woman I met, I met an arrogant one.
One who saw me as dispensable as I was not part of theton.They took work for granted, took my presence for granted, and found it very easy to do away with my work and dismiss it once they were done with me.”
Dispensable…
This was the word that Becca clung onto most now. She knew what had passed between Will and her was something deeper than just attraction. He had made love to her in that library, urging her to believe that he didn’t care about the difference between them in station, yet everything had changed that day.
He is no longer the son of a baron, but the son of an earl.
He had already been far above her, so high she could not touch him, and now, he had been taken even further out of reach. If it was absurd to think that a baron would ever marry a poor writer, then it was outrageous to consider an earl would make such a match.
“We are dispensable to them,” she repeated these words to her father.
“Not all of them. I cannot speak for all of them. They are unique, just as the common folk in the street are,” Frederick said with keenness.
“Yet it has to be accepted that they are called different worlds for a reason. The world of the streets, and the world of theton.You see, these two worlds like to stay separate.” He held his palms in the air, showing a vast space between them. “As we cannot touch the stars, maybe we also cannot truly ever know someone who is in theton.”
The stars…
