Page 53 of A Duke's Sinful Bargain
“Eliza?” Anna called.
“Yes, I’m here.” Eliza gently took her by the hand. “I heard shouting… I dared not enter while you were here, but I could hear some of the conversation from the other side.”
Anna felt ashamed that she had allowed something like this to happen. She buried her face into her hands and burst into tears.
“There, there,” Eliza tried to comfort her, although that was impossible. Still, having her by her side made Anna feel at least slightly better.
“Someone knows, Eliza,” she revealed through the sobs. Their previous disagreement was forgotten immediately.
“About you and the duke?” Eliza asked, although it was obvious what Anna’s words were referring to.
“Yes,” Anna confessed.
Eliza opened her arms and Anna fell onto her chest. The two young women embraced for a very long time, even after Anna’s sobs had subsided. Anna didn’t want to move. Fear combined with more doubts, and she wondered if Alexander had a hand in this scheme, especially taking into account his letter from that afternoon, urging her to stay away.
No, no,she kept telling herself. There had to be another explanation. Perhaps he had also received the same threat, and he thought that by keeping her away from himself, he would protect her?
She was desperate for this to be true. She should give him the benefit of the doubt, but fear was clouding her judgment, making it harder and harder to trust her heart. Her secret liaison with the duke had become far more complicated than she’d ever thought possible.
“I never should have done this, Eliza,” Anna said through the tears that streamed down her face. She didn’t even try to wipe them away. It would not help at all. “I feel so stupid. Now, with my reckless actions, I may have destroyed two lives in the process.”
“There is no need to feel stupid, and you didn’t destroy anything,” Eliza urged. “Everyone makes mistakes.”
“But not everyone will be forced to pay as dearly for them as I will,” Anna managed to muster.
Yes, she was stupid, for so many reasons. She was stupid for offering such a dangerous proposition to Alexander. She was stupid for thinking everything would be all right in the end. And finally, she was stupid for falling for such a man, especially after she had been warned about his reputation by none other than Lady Genevieve herself.
What if Eliza was right? What if the rumors were really true? Was the duke really a rogue who brought women to his home in secrecy, played with him to his heart’s content, and then demanded of them to keep their distance?
Her heart urged her to trust him, but that was when her mind decided to interfere and plead with her to err on the side of caution. Someone knew what was happening, someone dangerous, someone who wanted her to know that they had her in their grip.
This was all her fault. She deserved to be punished. She had played with fire and now she was getting burned. The only question was how bad her punishment would be.
Chapter 28
An entire week had passed and Alexander knew there was no chance of him obtaining what Sir Rupert had demanded under the stated conditions, no matter how hard he tried. Hours felt as long as days as Alexander grappled in the clutches of guilt, endeavoring to relieve himself of the heavy burden that had befallen him.
He would stay up late, until the first crack of dawn greeted him through the windows. He paid no heed. Sleep would not grace him with its presence, anyway. There was no point in even trying. At least by staying awake, he could rack his mind and try to come up with a solution to this problem.
He would have to fulfill Sir Rupert’s demands for land and money by doing everything in his power, even more than that. However, for that, he would need to become a magician, as he could not arrange everything in the timeframe given. That was an impossible feat. Not even the queen herself would have been able to do it.
The intricate complexities of such endeavors extended far beyond the confines of a mere two-week period, and Alexander suspected even Sir Rupert must have known this. The deadline had been set so short simply to make matters worse for Alexander, to put as much strain on him as possible and make him crack under the pressure. Slowly, Alexander could feel that the erosion of his sanity had already started.
With each hour that passed, the pressure mounted. The labyrinthine corridors of his own mind were clouded by guilt, by fear, by doubt, and by suspicion, but even through this darkness, Anna’s face shone like a beacon of hope even in the bleakest hour.
While the pressure threatened to crush him completely beneath that enormous weight, all he needed to do was close his eyes and Anna would appear, beaming as always, alleviating his turmoil. Did she even know what she meant to him? Probably not.
He yearned to tell her everything, to show her the depth of his affection for her, but how could he do that when the possibility of destruction loomed over their heads, threatening to ruin everything at any moment? No. He had to prove to her that he loved her enough to do everything for her love, for her safety.
Only now that he could not have her by his side did he realize the true depth of his longing for her. It was an insatiable hunger that he felt for her, and her absence was felt more than he ever thought possible, leaving a gaping hole in its wake. Now, the empty chambers of his soul echoed the sound of her name with haunting intensity.
At night, he would take himself into his hands, relying on the quiet solitude of his thoughts and memories. He was consumed by her visage, mind, body, and soul. He remembered all their stolen moments together. He remembered how she trembled in his arms.
He remembered the softness of her touch, the melodious sound of her laughter, the sparkle of her eyes, the touch of her lips. And instead of alleviating his ache, his memories only seemed to deepen the anguish of her absence, leaving him adrift in a sea of longing for someone he could never really have.
Seven days had passed. Seven long, anguishing days, and the weight of his guilt only seemed to grow stronger.
“It is a good thing you told her to stay away,” Tom reminded him as the two men found themselves in each other’s company in Alexander’s study.
