Page 14 of A Duke's Sinful Bargain
He swallowed heavily, feeling embarrassed of his most base instincts yet at the same time knowing that he could not help himself. That desire for her was overpowering. It threatened to tear down all his defenses and leave him powerless in its wake. Now, there she was, saying that one dance with him was not enough.
He agreed fully. One was not nearly enough. But… how many would be before they crossed the point of no return, before everything would irreparably change?
***
Anna could not believe that she was there.
It had been a difficult couple of days for her, one of the longest periods in her life. The weight of this tumultuous week hung heavily upon her as she grappled with the tangled threads of desire and financial disaster. Night after night found her wide awake, unable to provide even a semblance of rest for either her body or her mind.
The only thing that would eventually put her to sleep was the intimate solace of pleasuring herself to the memory of this man’s face, the sound of his voice that she had forfeited to her memory for all time. Now, that was the very man before whom she was standing.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,a shocked little voice inside of her urged.It is one thing to think of a wicked proposition such as that one, and it is completely another actually coming here and standing before him, ready to reveal it!
Yet Anna could not turn away, no matter how much her cheeks were blazing red. Not now that she had come so far. Compounded by the looming substantial debts owed by her late husband’s estate, which was now hers, she found herself at a life crossroads, a moment of reckoning that had actually given birth to that wicked proposition. Indeed, she ought to be ashamed of herself… but she was not.
“I am surprised that Lady Pentor did not find a substitute for me,” Alexander commented, bringing her back to the present moment, his deep voice caressing her without hands.
“A substitute?”
“As your dance partner,” he pointed out, eyeing her curiously. “Although I’m certain a lady as lovely as yourself has no trouble finding dance partners at balls.”
Before she replied, she grabbed her gown and gently lifted it up so that the hem revealed an ankle wrapped in a dainty boot with a dozen pearly buttons. Without thinking, she showed it to him.
“I get easily tired if my dance partner doesn’t know what he is doing,” she said more boldly than she expected herself to be. “While dancing is a pleasure for most, for me it can be quite a hassle, unless done properly.”
Nervousness coursed through her veins. She had never done such a thing before, and she was certain she never would again, for she was about to lay bare a proposition that carried the weight of both desire and scandal. The risk of what she was about to do was monumental.
She could shock the man, although she doubted such a thing would shock him, given his reputation. Still, he could easily dismiss her, leaving her exposed to the judgmental eyes of society if he were to tell anyone what transpired here. However, there was no other way out of this predicament.
“Anything can be a hassle unless done properly.” He nodded mischievously at her comment. “Like I said, I do believe you are a delight to dance with.”
“Thank you,” she said with a smile, but this smile cost her. “Likewise.”
This moment of vulnerability demanded everything of her, as she remembered Lady Genevieve’s insinuations about the duke’s proclivities for clandestine affairs. But those were probably all women who had nothing to lose and not much to gain, other than a night of passion.
As a widow and a woman who possessed a certain kind of experience, Anna knew this proposition would be a daring gamble and, most certainly, the only plausible solution to the intertwined challenges that were gripping her very throat, making it increasingly harder to breathe.
But it was not only her idea that was doing that. It was also his handsome face and dark, brooding ways that made her desire him even more. She felt as if she had forgotten how utterly handsome he was, and now, she was falling for him all over again… if such a thing were even possible.
Suddenly, he walked over to her, now standing dangerously close, still hiding her book behind his back. She stared into his eyes, wondering what he was hiding not only from her, but from the rest of the world as well.
“You know, you shouldn’t only read to the orphans,” he suggested. “You could also teach them to dance. I’m certain they would enjoy themselves immensely.”
She had to admit it was a lovely idea. Once again, he was right. She didn’t know how to feel about that. He seemed to be able to read her in a way no one else could. He could see through her vulnerabilities and say the things she longed to hear.Careful,that little voice advised her. She wondered if that skill came after much experience of telling ladies exactly what they wanted to hear.
He shrugged only once, his voice pulling her away from the stormy seas of her insecurities. “And because showing someone what dancing is really like, one needs a partner, I could… perhaps join you next time. I am quite the philanthropist myself… although my reputation rarely mentionsthatpart.”
She didn’t know if this was a jab at the rumors she had heard, the ones about his nightly affairs with nameless ladies. Strangely, she felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of some other lady being the center of his attention. She didn’t want him to look at anyone else the way he would sometimes look at her. She didn’t want him to say the right things to any lady other than herself. What an odd sensation.
Focus,she reminded herself.
It was common knowledge that the duke was rather generous when it came to giving money to hospitals and almshouses. Perhaps he had been charitable to the orphanage where she liked to visit the children and help them forget the conditions in which they found themselves.
Through reading, she hoped they were able to get a glimpse into another world, a world they could create for themselves if only they were strong and brave enough to keep dreaming, even in moments when that was the most difficult thing to do.
But this was not what she had come to discuss. It was time to do what she had set out to do. With a heart pounding with trepidation, she lifted her gaze to his, unsure whether it would lead to salvation or scandal. She took a deep breath, summoning the courage to find the right words and not take the coward’s way out. Her words cut through the tension created by his last comment.
“I know of your reputation, Your Grace.” She spoke softly, calmly, although she could hear the drumming of her own heartbeat inside her head. “I also know of my husband’s debt to you.”
