Page 58 of A Wicked Viscount's Stormy Affair
“Well I have been spending time with that gentleman, Lord George Harrington, and enjoying getting to know him. But at the same time, his twin brother, Gregory, has been trying to woo me. He is fine enough, but he does not make me feel the same way as George does.”
“If you feel something special, then I am sure that is the right person for you. His brother will understand…”
Sophie shook her head sadly. “It is not as straight forward as that. Both brothers have broken my heart, but George has absolutely destroyed me.”
Her grandmother nodded. “I see, please tell me more. I will not interject again.”
“It seems to be that Gregory was only interested in me because he wanted to get his hands on the dowry. He has gotten his estate into debt and all he wanted was a way to get himself out of that situation. That is why he was trying to woo me.”
“It is a shame, but that it what a lot of men do in this world. If they need to improve their finances, they will look to marry well. I am not saying that it is right, it is most certainly not a marriage that I would have liked to have found myself in, but I understand it happens.”
Those words might have been accurate, but they still made Sophie’s heart sink. She knew that men did not always have honorably intentions. But she did not like the way it made her feel to be on the wrong end of it all.
“Well, I will never talk with him again. I am very upset with the way he has treated me.”
“But it is George who has really upset you?”
Sophie wept a little harder. “Well, just as I found out that Gregory did not really want to get to know me for who I am, but for my parent’s money, I also discovered that George was merely wooing me to try and ‘rescue me’ from his brother. He had never had any intention of marrying me, it was all a ploy.”
“But he really did make you feel like he wanted to marry you?”
“Oh yes,” Sophie insisted. “He most certainly made me think he wanted to marry me. He courted me, he met my family, he sent me gifts… we kissed…”
This was something that she never would have admitted to anyone else in the world, but she had a feeling that her grandmother would simply hear her without judgement. Sophie’s grandmother’s eyes might have widened in shock, but she did not say a thing.
“Well, then I am sure that George is afraid of his feelings and too scared to say anything to you…”
“That is what Mother said as well,” Sophie interrupted. “But I do not think that is true. It seems clear to me that he simply never had feelings for me.”
“It seems to me like he started off trying not to care for you, but grew feelings along the way. Now he does not know what to do with those feelings.”
“No, because he would have told me when I questioned him on it…”
“Not if he was put on the spot, Sophie. Not if he is still trying to work out his own feelings. Some people do not realize the good they have until they mess it up completely and it is far too late. Losing you has probably killed him. I am sure he is kicking himself right now, wishing he could work up the bravery to make things right.”
“What… what does that mean?” Sophie gasped. Her tears had started to dry up, now she needed some answers. Some actionable answers so she could make things right. Because sitting at home, stewing on her sadness was not making her feel any better. If anything, it was making her feel so much worse.
“Do you love him?” her grandmother asked. “Do you really love him? Is it the sort of love that is worth fighting for? Is it worth putting your pride to one side to make this work?”
Sophie did not really need to think about this at all. She had been thinking about nothing else. Her feelings for George might have gotten very mixed up in this horrible heart ache, but she could not deny that it was still there. She could not shut her love down however hard she tried.
“Yes. That is how much I love him.” She nodded ferociously. “I am certain of that much.”
“Will you be able to carry on the rest of your life if you do not at least give this a try? Do you not think you should discover if he loves you for real before you give up? Otherwise you will be left with nothing but regrets and heart ache. You do not want to end up old like me, with regrets on your mind.”
Sophie’s breath got caught in her throat as she considered this.
Why had she locked herself away? Why was she waiting for a man to come to her to see what was happening for the rest of her life? That might have been the way things worked in London, but that did not mean she had to simper in the same way. If she wanted this man, and she wanted answers, then she had to be the one to act.
“Go,” her grandmother insisted. “Go now. You do not need to continue reading to me, you must go and see if there is something there.”
Sophie leapt to her feet, her heart absolutely hammering against her rib cage. Nerves were zig zagging through her body, and she knew that this could go either way. There was no guarantee that she was going to get the outcome she so desperately wanted, but her grandmother had made it very clear to her that if she did nothing, she would regret it forever.
Sophie did not want to live a life of regrets.
She did not want to always be wonderingwhat if?
“Wish me luck, Grandmother,” she said in a slightly shaky voice. “I am going to see if I can get my answers now.”
