Page 34 of The Wicked Duke's Convenient Bride
Once she and Elaine were in his life again, they could have their happy family like they had all always wanted. Matthew anticipated that there would be some obstacles after they had been apart for so long, but those could surely be overcome. They loved one another, and that would surely be enough.
Matthew sighed. “Rosemary,” he muttered. “I promise that I will find you soon.”
He was tempted to leave for the Continent at once and search for her himself, but he knew the dukedom and his tenants needed him in England. Besides, as painful as it was to admit, Jonathan did know more about how to gather information and uncover secrets than Matthew did. He raked his hands through his hair and took pen in hand. While he had already sent Jonathan a letter earlier that week, he did not imagine that one more would hurt.
He paid the man well, after all. Maybe a little coaxing would simply remind Jonathan how much was at stake. This was not some unknown woman whom he was seeking but a duchess and her young daughter, although—
Elaine would not be quite so young anymore. She would be on the cusp of becoming a young lady. Matthew’s heart ached. He had to find them. He had to have his family back, and then, everything would be just as it was supposed to be. Matthew would have his wife and daughter, and Tabitha could return to her parents, who clearly loved and indulged her. Too much, it seemed.
Everything would be just perfect.
Chapter 15
“Tabby Cat!” Lady Mayhew exclaimed.
Tabitha forced a smile for her mother. They embraced, and Tabitha felt herself relax in her mother’s arms. For a heartbeat, she felt like she was a child again and being enfolded into her mother’s warm embrace. Everything was perfect—the comforting scent of her mother’s favourite English lavender cologne, her warmth, and her gown’s soft fabric.
“You look distressed, dear,” Lady Mayhew said. “What is the matter?”
Tabitha let her mother lead her to the settee. Once there, she sat and curled her fingers into the skirts of her gown. Tabitha’s mother furrowed her brow, doubtlessly noticing the gesture. She did not comment on it, though.
“Marriage is hard,” Tabitha said.
Lady Mayhew laughed quietly. “Every woman says so. Every man, too, I imagine.”
Tabitha sighed. “I—I want to live in the townhouse again with you and Father. I do not want to stay with Matthew any longer.”
Her mother’s expression softened. “Has he hurt you?”
“Not in the way you are likely thinking,” Tabitha said. “It is only that I—I believe he detests me for not being Duchess Hillsburgh. Rosemary.”
“Oh.”
Tabitha slowly nodded. “He still loves her, truly loves her, and maybe that should not bother me. I did not enter this marriage hoping for love, yet I still feel as though I cannot bear this. If he were kind, that would be enough. Even if he were consistently unkind, I think I could bear it. What I cannot endure, though, is that I cannot predict on any given day which he will be. He wants me; he does not want me. He wants to be friends. He wants to live separate lives.”
“Oh, dearest,” Lady Mayhew murmured.
“And I know it must be difficult for him,” Tabitha said. “It was difficult enough for me when Cassius abandoned me. I can scarcely imagine what it would like to lose my wife and daughter.”
She paused, considering sharing Lady Miriam’s speculation on the matter, but that seemed a little untoward. After all, Tabitha had promised she would keep those thoughts a secret. It would not do to break her promise.
“But I still do not feel as though this is fair to me,” Tabitha said.
Lady Mayhew sighed. “I could tell you that life is not fair, but I do not think you would find that answer helpful.”
“No,” Tabitha agreed.
“You cannot live with your father and me, though,” Lady Mayhew said. “You are a married woman, and your husband is in London. If he were away, you could perhaps justify staying with us. You could claim that you were visiting us or some such, but you can hardly do that when he lives only a few miles away.”
Tabitha sighed. “But surely, something.”
Lady Mayhew shook her head. “I am sympathetic, but this is—this is all nonsense, Tabitha.”
“Nonsense?” she echoed. “Am I wrong to be upset?”
“Not wrong,” her mother said, “but we knew from the start that this would be a marriage of convenience. You would be spared a scandal, and His Grace would have a wife to bear him an heir. To expect that the marriage would be perfect is unreasonable.”
“I know.”
