Page 48 of The Wicked Duke's Convenient Bride
She nodded. “Rather than a man like Cassius. I hope you realize that I am being sincere,” she said. “I did believe myself deeply in love, but it is apparent now that I did not truly understand everything entailed. I do not believe I even understood intimacy as well as I thought. Loyalty, certainly, but ...”
“But he had no interest in being loyal to you.”
Tabitha slowly nodded. She felt a sharp pang of guilt. She could not continue to keep secrets from her husband. Tabitha should have told him the truth before they even fell into bed together, but when she revealed what she knew, it would ruin everything. Her eyes stung, and she rubbed them roughly in a vain attempt to force the tears away. She silently prayed for her husband to be looking anywhere else in the room but at her.
“Tabitha?” he murmured.
She met his soft, concerned gaze. It was a mercy that she did not deserve. “I must tell you something,” she said.
“Oh?”
Tabitha nodded. She sat upright in bed and pulled her knees to her chest. A lump lodged itself in her throat, making it difficult to breathe. “I do not want to, though. You will be furious.”
“It cannot be so bad,” Matthew replied softly.
But it was. If Rosemary were alive and were to return to London, it would mean the end of everything Tabitha and Matthew had together—every feeling, every word, every amorous encounter—and Tabitha did not want to lose any of it. While it was true that she and Matthew often disagreed, she found that a part of her appreciated that they did.
Matthew did not treat her like some woman whose opinions did not matter; he did not leave and avoid her. They argued, but they always resolved their differences. Part of it was that Tabitha enjoyed the intimacy, but there was another part of her, one that had been desperately upset and lonely in the past few days, that wondered if she had begun to appreciate him emotionally as well.
“Cassius told me something about Her Grace,” Tabitha said. “Rosemary, I mean.”
Matthew drew in an audible breath. “What?”
Tabitha nodded, steeling herself for his reaction. She was certain that Matthew would not take this news as kindly as he claimed.
“He told me that she is alive and will return to London,” Tabitha said, “the Duchess of Hillsburgh.”
Matthew shook his head, and when Tabitha dared glance at him, she did not think she had ever seen such a defeated man.
“That cannot be,” Matthew said. “I am sure Lord Fatherton said that simply to upset you. If you truly do not desire him any longer, the man has likely realized how much he regrets losing you, and he will say anything to make you doubt your decision to leave him.”
Tabitha bit the inside of her cheek. Matthew made a good argument. Cassius telling her that the Duchess of Hillsburgh would soon return doubtlessly had been a cruel plot to upset her, but Tabitha doubted everything he had said and shown her was only that. She took a deep breath.
“There is more,” she said, her voice shaking. “Cassius showed me a watch in his possession with your initials on it. He claimed that it was yours and that he received it as a token of affection from Her Grace.”
“A watch?” Matthew asked.
Tabitha nodded. “Cassius said that he and Her Grace had an affair. She gave it to him, then.”
Matthew hastened to his feet. He stared at her with a hard, disbelieving look. Colour rose to his face, and he fiercely shook his head. “These–these are lies! Lord Fatherton does not know anything. How dare he besmirch Rosemary’s reputation in such a callous way? I will not allow this insult to stand!”
“Do not do anything hasty,” Tabitha said.
It suddenly occurred to her that Matthew was just the sort of honourable man who might demand satisfaction for an insult, especially if it was being paid to his beloved Duchess of Hillsburgh. Her heart ached at the thought that he might do something reckless, like trying to duel Cassius, who was a renowned swordsman.
“Do not advise me on how to handle this insult to my wife’s honour!” Matthew snapped.
I thought I was your wife, Tabitha thought.
She felt as though the remark ought not to hurt her. Matthew was angry, understandably so, and Tabitha had known that he preferred Her Grace, that she was Matthew’s first love. And yet, she was hurt profoundly.
“You should have told me this at once,” Matthew continued. “Why did you delay?”
“We were not speaking to one another,” Tabitha said. “And I tried to tell you what happened. You were angry and would not listen to me.”
And I knew that I might ruin everything between us if I did, Tabitha thought but could not say. So I did not tell you.
“But this was about Rosemary!” Matthew thundered. “You know how important she is to me! You had no right not to tell me. If I did not wish to listen, you should have convinced me rather than behaving like a child!”
