Page 123 of The One
I’d been … sleeping?
Did I want anything?
The thought of putting something in my body made my stomach churn.
“I’m okay.”
She nodded. “Just let me know if you change your mind.”
“Wait,” I said as she started to walk away. “Can I ask you for a favor?”
“Of course.”
I handed her the photo. “Can you put this somewhere I’ll never have to see it again?”
She took the picture from me and glanced at it. A soft, understanding smile came over her face. “Are you sure? He looks like he really loves you.”
I touched my throat, where the necklace still sat, and I mashed my lips together, holding back a cry. “Yes, I’m sure.”
THIRTY-EIGHT
Lainey
Present Day
Why did a hug feel as personal as a kiss? Why did it have the power to make me feel things that should have stayed dormant? Why, while Rhett had his arms around me, did I want him to squeeze me tighter?
Did I want him to not let me go?
“I’m sorry, Lainey.”
I didn’t know how many times he’d repeated that statement, but it was many. I got the feeling he was saying it for himself as much as he was for me. I also didn’t know how long we sat here, folded together on the bleacher, the wind whipping past us as fast as the memories were taking hold in my brain. But at some point, he released me, and I uncurled from the ball I’d been in.
“You want to know why she jumped off my boat.” He straightened his tie, letting the silk eventually fall from his hand. “You want a definitive answer.”
“My heart would like one, yes.”
He traced his thumb over his bottom lip. “What I think is that Penelope wanted attention. She wanted it from me, and she wanted it from everyone. She also wanted what you had. That was the noise and chaos she lived with. I think she jumped because she wasn’t getting enough attention, and she had no idea that on her way into the water, she would hit the blades of four engines.”
While he’d been hugging me, his jacket had dropped from my shoulders, and I lifted it off the metal, draping it around me.
“The attention—yes, that makes sense. But you … she knew she was never getting you.”
“I don’t think she wanted me. I think it was the idea that she couldn’t have me.”
I considered his theory. “Probably.” I let some time settle before I sighed, “God.”
He leaned in closer, putting his arms on his thighs. “I opened that Instagram account to watch you. That’s the only reason it exists. I never hit the Follow button on your page or liked a single photo or dared to comment on one, but every few days, I’d check on you. I’d see the friends you posed with and the places you visited. I’d take in your smile, and a pang of jealousy would stab at me, wishing I were who you were smiling for.”
“Even after all these years,” I whispered.
His skin flushed, the red coming in and leaving just as fast. “Time changed nothing, aside from making me older. My feelings—those went untouched.” His leg bounced. “That’s not true. They were touched because they became stronger.”
This was so much to hear, so much to take in. Today was an emotional trauma dump, and I didn’t know how much more I could handle.
Rhett’s hand lifted and got as high as my face. But before he touched me, it dropped back to his lap. “You know what else Iknow? Those smiles in your pictures weren’t out of happiness, they were out of obligation.”
I’d always wondered if he’d looked at my photos.
