Page 145 of The One
Baby, you put me on your body.
Lainey
I can’t see the necklace unless I look in a mirror. But this? I can look at it whenever I want. That’s important to me. Having you there. Always.
Me
I can’t wait to kiss it.
Lainey
I can’t wait to kiss you tonight.
FORTY-SIX
Lainey
Present Day
Mom held the coffee cup with both hands, the ceramic balancing on her breasts as she looked at me from the other side of the couch. One of the advantages of moving back to LA was that I got to have breakfast with my mother whenever I wanted.
But this morning, when I’d walked into my parents’ house, knowing Dad would be at work, I’d told her to stop cutting up the grapefruit she’d been carving, that we needed to chat.
Almost a week had passed since Rhett had come to my apartment, and we’d had the conversation about what we wanted. In most scenarios, that was a time frame far too premature to even discuss it with the parents.
Not in my case.
And not when it came to the love between Rhett and me.
There was no question in my mind; this was only the beginning of us.
So, while Mom and I sat on the couch and I held my untouched coffee, I told her everything that had transpired, starting from when I’d seen Rhett in Bangkok to the unexpected meetup at the cemetery. I went into detail about the things Rhett had told me about Pen while we were at the track. I purged everything. I kept nothing from her. And when I finished, I explained the Instagram post I’d made—since she’d seen it—and how I’d shared that photo, knowing it would get Rhett to come over.
There was emotion on Mom’s face when I covered the parts about Pen. When I told her how my sister had acted with Rhett and what had really gone down that day on the boat in comparison to the police report. But once Mom’s tears cleared, she looked at me like my best friend, listening to me pour my heart out.
And when I wrapped up the last bit, explaining the handful of days and nights Rhett and I had spent together, I put my hand on her knee, which was the closest part of her I could reach, and said, “What do you think about all of this, Mom?”
“What do I think?” She drew in a huge breath, slowly letting it out. “As far as your sister is concerned, these are things we didn’t know about. Honey, it’s a lot to unpack.”
“I know.”
“Cocaine?” She put her hand on her chest. “Dear God, that hurts to hear, Lainey.”
“There were times … times she was so messed up that I wondered if she was just drinking or if she was mixing things. I never asked her. And I never saw her doing anything other than drinking and smoking. But the thought was there, especially the nights when she blacked out.” I paused. “Did you know about those nights? Or how much she was drinking? Or partying?”
“When she would come downstairs in the morning, white as a ghost, still three sheets to the wind, yes, of course I knew.But she was such a good kid. She was home on time. She got exceptional grades. She got into NYU. I just …” As she went silent, she sighed. “I turned a blind eye. I know now that I shouldn’t have.”
When I pulled my hand back, she continued, “I have to ask. Is there any part of you that’s questioning whether Rhett is telling you the truth about Penelope?”
“No.” My head shook. “Not even a little. Because toward the end, when Pen was hanging out with the lacrosse team, I knew their reputation and that they were into coke and pills, and I knew she should stay away from them. But instead of learning that lesson, she just got deeper involved with them.” I rested the cup on the couch and stared at the top of it. “I should have done something too. I should have … I don’t know.”
“Carrying that guilt won’t bring her back, honey. There’s a strong possibility we’d still be here now, having almost the same conversation, had you tried to do something about it. Because whether Pen was high or not, she might have still jumped.”
“I know.”
She gave a weak grin. “WhatIknow is that you’re the reason she was home on time. That when you were with her, nothing ever happened. You took care of your sister, baby. But that wasn’t your responsibility, and it’s not something you could have done forever.” Her smile strengthened. “My goodness, didn’t she look up to you? She admired you. And given what Rhett said, she envied you.”
“I envied her, Mom. She could walk into a room and not know a single person and leave with ten new best friends. She wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. She could create a spotlight out of total darkness and have it shine right over her.” I folded my legs up to my chest and leaned my shoulder into the back cushion of the couch. “Rhett waited all these years to tell me. Hedidn’t think I was ready.” I exhaled. “He didn’t know if I’d ever be ready.” I paused. “He had nothing to lose, Mom.”
