Page 54 of All or Nothing
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he added weakly, smiling at his parents. “Better than fine.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
It Was Not Fine
XOLLEN
IT WASnot fine. I knew my parents, and I knew what the looks on their faces meant. Still more suspicious was Verilla’s participation in whatever was happening here. But even so, without Joss here I would have caved to their pressure hours ago. But shewashere, a solid and soothing presence at my side, holding me firm and giving me courage. It was easier to remember the things Dr. Vakkas had been telling me, had been helping me to see in the weeks that I’d been working with her, with Joss at my side.
The rest of dinner passed in tense silence, the only chatter Verilla’s inane recounting of the social functions she’d been visiting lately. Seeing her again had been a shock, but I wanted to laugh at how silly I’d been, to think she was mature and interesting. How blind I’d been.
In the end, my parents didn’t try to take us back to their home office to look at the contracts, and that told me everything I needed to know about what was in that contract. But even though I knew it wouldn’t be good, I found that I needed to see it, to be faced with what my parents really thought of me, of this work that I was passionate about and managing to make a living off of.
“I’m ready to see that contract now,” I told my mother as they tried to herd us into the sitting room for dessert and tea. “I’m too full for dessert anyway.”
My father scowled at me, his deep facial cleft pulling at his lips and making it more severe. “Of course, dear,” my mother trilled, her own smile tight and strained.
They led me out of the sitting room, and I looked around for Joss, panic squeezing my throat when I realized she wasn’t there.
“Where’s Jo—”
“In the hygiene room, dearest,” my mother interjected. Verilla can bring her to us when she’s done, can’t you, Ver?”
“Oh, of course, Tirri. I’ll bring her as soon as she gets back.”
My parents nodded, as if it was decided, and since Joss wasn’t there to be my backbone I nodded too, following them out without a fight.
Their office was painfully familiar, the place I’d always been most likely to find them when I was little, a room that made me feel lonely and small even when we’d all been in there together. My father strode over to his desk and picked up the charcoal-colored folder there, emblazoned with the firm’s insignia, and I took it from him before settling into a chair to read.
Thanks to my business classes, I wasn’t totally lost reading it, but I didn’t entirely understand it, either. The first few pages seemed to be exactly what they had already outlined, as far as I could tell, and I was starting to feel sheepish, like I’d upset my parents and suspected them of foul play for nothing, but on the last two pages, I figured out what they’d been so cagey about.
On the second-to-last page, there was a section called “Rates and Figures in Perpetuity”, where the percentages they’d quoted us earlier swung in a very different direction. It seemed to be saying that after a year the cut my parents would get, as the managing agents, would change, becoming higher than mine and Joss’s portions of the revenue, and at that point they’d retain sole ownership of merchandising.
My parents were trying to screw me over. That last little part of me that had thought I could trust them shriveled with a sharp ache that took my breath away. To my eternal embarrassment, my eyes burned with the urge to shed tears. I was devastated, I was disappointed, but I was also furious. Had they ever actually loved me? Or had I always been a tool to them, rather than a person?
“You know how bad this is,” I croaked, keeping my eyes locked on the paper in my hands. “This is—this isinsulting. How could you?”
“What are you talking about, Xollen?” my father stepped in, crossing his arms over his chest and tucking his chin in. “It’s a standard contract for representation, which you’d know if you’d bothered to give avrakaashabout your education.”
I swallowed, forcing myself to sit up straight and stay calm, doing the breathing techniques I’d learned from Dr. Vakkas and practiced with Joss. “You know it’s not, please just be honest with me. Both of you. This is—it’s exploitive. After a year you control everything and me and Joss stop making money. But what I still don’t understand is what Verilla has to do with it. Why have you roped her into this?”
“We’ve done no such thing,” my father growled, while my mother did her best to look hurt.
“Xollen, how could you accuse us of something so ugly?” she cried, clutching at my father’s arm. “After everything we’ve done for you, every opportunity we’ve handed to you on a platinum tray—” she broke off with a sob that might have been genuine, and I went hot and cold as I realized my parents were never going to see how they hurt me.
My mother and father weren’t acting, not really—Verilla was the actor, not them. They genuinely believed the things they were telling me, and it didn’t matter how hard I tried to show them why I was hurting; they’d always spin it so that I was wrong and they were right.
I sighed, clenching my fist around the contract so that it crumpled in my fist. “I’m going to leave now. If you genuinely can’t understand why then that’s on you, because I’m going to make it as clear as I can: you are obviously trying to use me. This contract confirms that you don’t have my best interests at heart, and I think that unless you make significant changes I can’t have a relationship with you. With either of you.” I was so proud of myself at that moment, for how steady my voice was, how straight I was able to keep my shoulders, even if I couldn’t quite stop the tears from falling. “I love you both but I can’t have people in my life who would abuse my trust like this.” I tossed the crumpled contract to the floor, then turned on my heel and walked out.
My father bellowed my name, ordering me to stop and come back and apologize for being disrespectful, while my mother started sobbing, but I didn’t stop, didn’t even let myself pause. I went in search of Joss, needing her sweet scent, her warm smile. I needed her to hold me and tell me I’d done the right thing, even though my heart was breaking into a million pieces.
But I couldn’t find Joss. Instead, I found Verilla, lounging in the sitting room and sipping her tea. “How’d the meeting go?” she purred, setting the cup down on its saucer.
“Where’s my mate?” I asked, too emotionally wrung out to deal with her right now. “Where’s Joss?”
Verilla shrugged. “She left,” she said, standing and slinking up to me. “Said she’d had enough.” When Verilla reached me she trailed a perfectly manicured finger down the center of my chest, batting her eyes up at me. I grabbed her wrist and took a step back, putting more distance between us.
“What did you do?” I snapped at her.
