Page 18 of All or Nothing
“You’ll probably want to get rid of a lot of stuff,” Joss was telling me as we shared another meal. “Moving sucks ass and the more stuff you have the worse it is. Plus, you can probably sell a lot of it off for cash—sorry, credits—which will soften the blow of going to the public dorms.”
I nodded, spooning more of my vish’tal stew into my mouth. “I suppose that makes sense,” I muttered, but I was not feeling as calm about it as I was letting on. Truthfully, I was devastated and more than a little cranky about the whole thing. I had spent a lifetime acquiring those things, and a lot of them were important to me. Wasn’t it enough that I’d given all of my money? Should I really have to give up all of my favorite things along with my home? It didn’t seem fair to me, that my reward for a good deed should be to lose everything about my current life that I enjoyed.
“You okay, Xoll?” Joss asked, looking at me with concern. I bristled, not wanting to deal with her judging me. Luckily I was saved by an incoming comm call from Derris. I swiped at my wristcom, letting him know I’d pick up in a minute and sending the call to my quarters.
“You’ll have to excuse me,” I told her, standing and dumping the rest of my stew into the recycler. “This is an important call, I’ve got to take it.” Then before she could say anything I was leaving the mess hall and jogging to my room.
I finally accepted the call once I was alone in my locked room. “Derris, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Now that I was within a daycycle of Billieu the call was able to come through with video. The broad, gentle face of my best friend filled the little screen set into the wall above my desk.
“Hey, Xoll. Just checking in. You were acting very strange the last time I talked to you, and you know how I worry.”
I snorted, crossing my arms and leaning back in my chair. “You’re worse than my mother,” I teased him with a pang. My mother seldom worried about me, truth be told, unless it was to worry I was going to mess something up for her.
Derris grinned, white teeth flashing and copper eyes swirling warmly. “Can’t help it, Xoll. Maybe if you didn’t get into trouble so much…”
I sputtered, glaring at him through the screen. “Me,get in trouble? I’m sorry, have you met yourself? If I remember correctly, you were the one who put eggs in our school’s ventilation ducts so that they’d rot and stink up the whole complex and got suspended for an entire lunar.”
Derris laughed. “Yeah, but you didn’t try and stop me.”
“Slander! I absolutely did tell you not to do it.”
“Sure, sure, whatever Xoll.” Derris’s face sobered, and he searched my face carefully. “Seriously, Xollen. What’s going on? Are you in trouble? Are you okay?”
I was tempted to give in and tell him what I’d done, but then I’d have to admit what I was even doing on Quellor to begin with. And there was always the chance that the comms were being monitored, and anything I told Derris would incriminate me.
But I didn’t want to lie to him, either. “I’m fine. I’m not in trouble, but I can’t go into more detail than that right now. When I dock in Escheva tomorrow I’ll call you up and we can get together and talk. Alright?” He studied my face carefully, his eyes narrowing, before pursing his lips and giving me a tight nod. I loosed a shaky breath. “Please be safe, Xoll,” he told me.
We chatted more casually after that, Derris telling me all about what he and Gesea had been up to in the last several lunars. “You promise you’ll fill me in once you’re back?” Derris asked after we’d agreed to disconnect.
“Yes, I will reach out as soon as I can and catch you up on what’s been going on. But, Derris?” I swallowed thickly, nervous. “Please…please don’t judge me, when I tell you, okay?”
He frowned, looking ready to protest, but something in my face must have changed his mind. “Alright, Xoll,” he sighed, tugging on the end of a horn in a nervous gesture he’d had as long as I’d known him. “Be careful, okay? Take care of yourself. Goddess guide you.”
“Goddess guide you,” I responded, disconnecting the call. I leaned back in my desk chair, trying to stretch out the tension in my neck. I decided to make a cup of tea; perhaps that would help soothe me. I stood from my desk and strode to the door, which slid open at my approach.
Rather than the empty hallway I was expecting, a large, bulky form was lounging in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and leaning her shoulder against one side of the door jamb. I was so startled to see her there that I froze, staring at her as if in doing so I could make her appearance make sense.
But Uraka was not so slow to act. She put a large hand on my chest and shoved me back inside my room, following me so that the door shut behind her.
“I would like to talk, Xollen,” she said in a deadly quiet voice. The tone of her voice put my control over my bladder into question. It was possibly the first time I’d ever heard her willingly use my actual name, and I did not think it was a good sign.
“What do you want, Uraka?” I asked breathlessly, hating how I was trembling.
“Just to talk,” she said slowly, a small blade—Goddess only knew where she got it from—appearing in her hand. She used it to clean under her nails, but the threat was clear. “I have noticed you getting very close to our sweet Joslyn. She plans to live with you, even. To help the male who bought her like she was just a thing, because her heart is so sweet and tender.
“I have seen what males do to females when they get their filthy hands on them. I rescued them often when I was still in the vanguard. That will not happen to Joss. I will be keeping a close eye on her when we land in Escheva, checking in on her, making sure she does not become a victim of her kindness.”
I swallowed, sweat sliding down my back in a river. “I-I understand, Uraka. And Iswear, on all that I own, on the Goddess Herself, that I will not hurt her. I don’twantto hurt her. I’m an idiot, but I’m not cruel. I don’t know what I can say to make you believe me—”
“You cannot say anything. I must see it. So if you are as good as your word, you have nothing to worry about.” She finished cleaning her nails, the small blade disappearing as quickly as it had come. “But I do not bluff, Xollen. I do not threaten idly.” Goddess save me, but I had no trouble believing her. Uraka oozed threat and menace, making it easy to picture her covered in blood, soaked in it, and cackling in delight. She hadn’t asked me a question, but I found myself nodding anyway.
Uraka grinned, her lips pulling taut over her tusks, before turning and sauntering out of my room. “If anyone asks, we did not have this conversation,” she threw over her shoulder as she left, making me shudder.
“S-sure,” I managed to spit out. She nodded once more and then closed the door behind her, leaving me alone to sag into a puddle on the floor. My tail was wrapped so tightly around my leg my foot was falling asleep, and it was hard to breathe. She hadn’t killed me though, and she hadn’t sounded like she was going to murder me just for fun. Maybe she’d even leave me alone, so long as I kept Joss happy. And why wouldn’t I want to keep Joss happy? She was all those good things that Uraka had said and more; I’d have to be a monster to want to let any harm come to her. I’d spent 3 million credits onstoppingthat from happening, I huffed to myself, my pulse settling as I thought of Joss.
Maybe Uraka would come around. Maybe she just needed time to see that I wasn’t what she thought, that I only wanted the best for all of them…but especially for Joss.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
