Page 65 of Boundless
"You did it, love," he rasped, his voice thick with tears. "I'm so p-proud of you. So thankful to you."
"Where is he?" she panted, her head sagging back. He scrambled to get behind her, spreading his legs wide so she could settle between them and lean against him. Gayeh brought over the water bowl and rag and he took it with a quiet thanks, resuming his gentle sponge bath.
Yollyn finished her inspection of the newborn child, her smile wide and warm as she knee-walked over to them and gingerly handed the shrieking bundle over to Daega's waiting arms.
Daega took him with a sob, cradling him close to her breast and tracing a claw down one round cheek.
Tears fell freely from Len's hot and aching eyes, his palms tingling with the need to lay hands on his child.
"Isn't he the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, love?" Daega breathed, her gaze locked on the wailing babe.
"He—he's tied for first. W-with you."
She laughed wetly, turning her head to peck a kiss on his chin. "Good answer," she murmured.
When it was time to pass the afterbirth Gayeh took her grandson, her eyes wet, too. Yollyn and her other apprentice, whose name Len had forgotten, cleaned up, Yollyn handing Len a little jar of sharp, herbal-smelling cream to "use on th’ lady's nethers" to help her heal, and a pouch with a tea that would help with the pain.
"A'll be checking in frequently over th’ next couple o’ days. Mek sure ye an’ th’ bairn ur both weel. But get him fed, an’ then get some rest, aye?" Daega nodded, sagging back against his chest as if just the mention of rest was enough to swallow up the last of her strength.
Kevothaen and Tesse were summoned once Yollyn was done, converging on Daega to help her up and over to their bed. Once she was settled in and comfortable, Gayeh brought over the crying infant, easing him back into Daega's arms to nurse.
The babe latched easily, easing something in Len's chest, and he settled in against Daega's side, gazing at the small, impossibly fragile-looking child in his wife's arms, his tiny gray fist curled against her chest as he suckled. Len’s chest went tight, so much love and tenderness swelling in him at the sight that he thought his ribs would crack open, unable to contain it all.
But there was a bitter edge to it, he hated to admit; for, looking down at his son, full to the brim with love and determination to protect this little life with everything that he had, he couldn't help but think of his father. How was it possible that Haedelon should find himself in this position, looking down on Len just like this, and not feel any of this same fierce love and protectiveness? Len could not imagine anything that this child could do that would rip those feelings away—so how had it happened with his father? How could he look at his son and feelhate?
But then Sercha and Vrinn were joining the group, his whole family crammed into their little tent, and the bitterness slipped away. Haedelon was weak, he reminded himself. Too weak to handle the tender power of all this feeling. But Len was strong, he saw now, stronger than his father by leaps and bounds, and heswore, as he looked around at the beautiful people who were his true family, that he would give anything and everything for them. That they'd never doubt his love, even when they disagreed and struggled.
Kevothaen's hand was warm and heavy on his shoulder. "You alright, son?" he asked quietly, noticing Len's lapse into silence.
He nodded, looking up at his father-in-law's kind, well-lined face, and beamed. "Yes, I—" he swallowed, heart clenching in his chest. "I just—I love all of you so much. I can't—I don't—"
The Istarii Drakan warlord smiled softly, dark eyes glassy, and folded Len into a bear hug, nearly lifting him from the bed.
"And I am honored to love you as well, son," he said thickly into Len's ear.
Len shuddered, clinging tight, before pulling away to wipe at his face and accept hugs from Gayeh and his sisters, so swamped with emotion he felt like he would fly away into the heavens.
LEN WAS IMMEDIATELYoverwhelmed with all of the newness that came with having a baby: new routines, new sleep schedules, new demands on his time and energy, and new relationship dynamics with Daega. He was eternally grateful for his family, who stayed close to help with the transition and all of the things his tiny son needed, but there was only so much that they could do, and he and Daega were struggling to get through the nights.
He wanted to be able to trade off on who would get up to attend to their son when he awoke in the night, but if he was hungry there was nothing Len could do but wake Daega. They'd tried several animal milks to supplement, but Drokas—what they'd settled on for their son's name—didn't tolerate anything but his mother's milk.
So Len decided he'd grow himself a pair of breasts.
It wouldn't actually be too difficult, he was shocked to realize—the necessary tissues were already there, merely dormant, and Yollyn even had a compound that would help him along, that she gave to changers who wished to grow breasts as part of their change. It would be difficult to get rid of them once Drokas was weaned, and he had to admit that he wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having to do so, but his heart was aching for Daega, so worn out and in pain and with him feeling far too useless. It washisson, so why shouldn't he have more of a hand in his care, especially if it meant that such a small thing would ease the burden on his wife?
At first Daega had been unsure of his proposition. "Why do you want tits, dove? Are you looking to change?"
He shook his head, his face burning hot enough to sizzle. "N-no, I just want to b-be able to help with the f-feedings. So i-it's not all on you."
She frowned, her eyes studying his face, before she shrugged and shot him a soft smile, Drokas nursing noisily. "Sure, why not? Our wee creature is chafing my nipples raw with all his suckling. And I think you'll look right tasty with a pair," she grinned, biting her lip and eyeing his currently breast-less chest with heat. "If youdidwant to change I hope you know it wouldn't shift how I feel for you in the slightest," she added, more sober. "I like all bodies, and I reckon my love for you would win out even if I didn't."
He smiled, leaning over carefully to kiss her. "That's good to know." He pressed another kiss to Drokas' head, the delicate strands of his hair trying to stick to Len's lips. "I don'tthinkI w-want to change, but I am a bit jealous of your being able t-to feed him. S-So in a way I'm excited for it." He bit his lip, wincing. "Do you th-think it'll undercut my authority, though?"
She considered, switching Drokas to her other breast. "Honestly? The elves might not take it well, considering how they feel about changers. But no one in the horde will bother you. It'll surprise folks, but I doubt there'll be a fuss. You might even start a trend, get other men growing tits to pull their weight."
It took two weeks, his magic considerably speeding up the process…though doing so meant he was in a fair amount of pain for that time. He was in a defense meeting with Kevothaen and several other generals, discussing Haedelon and Fenris’ silence, when his milk came in, making a huge wet spot on the left side of his shirt that had him horrified and self-conscious. But the men assembled all knew what he was doing and graciously put the meeting on hold so he could change and see if Drokas was hungry.
And it was worth it all, the first time he cradled his child to his chest and watched him nuzzle close, a bit confused at first by being offered breasts in such a wildly different color palette than he was used to, but his son was smart and figured it out quickly. Len had cried quietly, his throat tight and aching, as he marveled at being able to use his body to nourish his son's.
