Page 113 of The Art of Sinning
She caught her breath. “About the blackmail? About my garter?”
“All of it. From the beginning.”
The soft words fell into the stillness of the carriage like a stone into a pond, rippling the surface of their relationship in ever-widening waves.
Remembering that Jeremy had suggested something of the sort, she clenched her hands together in her lap. “How?”
He glanced away. “The day it happened, I caught... Ruston in town preparing for your elopement.”
She raised an eyebrow. He was lying. She could tell because he was awful at it. Always had been. “I see. And Lieutenant Ruston simply told you all about the blackmail when you encountered him?”
Her brother began to rub the back of his neck. “I... um... well...”
Wait a minute. “Samuelwas the one who told you, wasn’t he?” She should have realized Samuel wouldn’t have been able to handle the matter alone. “He told you so you would fix things.”
Edwin’s startled glance sent a chill down her spine. “Right. Exactly. Samuel told me, and I stepped in to fix things.”
Her eyes narrowed. If that were the case, why not tell her about it all those years ago? Why let Samuel get the credit for saving her? For that matter, why make up some nonsense about catching the lieutenant in town?
A pounding began in her temples. “It wasn’t Lieutenant Ruston you encountered, was it? It was Samuel. He was in on the lieutenant’s plan from the beginning.”
Edwin muttered a curse under his breath, and her heart clenched inside her chest. All this time she’d clung to the memory of Samuel as he’d been in his youth—her wild and fun brother—but that brother also didn’t care about anyone but himself. He certainly hadn’t cared about her. Not the way she’d cared about him.
She choked down tears. “Oh, Edwin,” she said sadly. What a fool she’d been to believe Samuel. She should have realized that Edwin had caught Ruston and taken care of the situation. Then hidden it from her. “Why not just tell me?”
His eyes were solemn. “I didn’t want you to know that he would betray you like that. Bad enough that Ruston had broken your heart. I couldn’t stand to let Samuel break it, too.”
Touched to the depths of her soul, she reached across the carriage to clasp his hands. “That is quite possibly the dearest thing you’ve ever said to me. Or done for me.” She fought back her tears, knowing they would only upset him more. “I know it’s long overdue, but thank you. For looking after me, and trying to protect me from being hurt.”
He flushed a deep scarlet. “What are brothers for?”
Clearly notallbrothers, buthecertainly was. Thinking of Samuel reminded her of where they were headed. “And thank you for stepping in to save little Elias, too. I know you didn’t have to.”
His expression hardened a bit. “You’re damned right I didn’t have to,” he grumbled, but now she knew that his gruff manner was mostly for show.
She should have realized it before. He’d always been a decent sort; she’d just been too busy balancing the chip on her shoulder to notice.
With another squeeze of his hands, she sat back. “Why did you decide to tell me about Samuel’s betrayal today, of all days? Did something happen at Miss Moreton’s?”
“Yes. But that’s not why. Keane has been urging me to do so ever since I told him the truth yesterday.” He fixed her with an earnest gaze. “I don’t want you fearing that Keane is just another Ruston. Because I honestly think he’s not. I believed the rumors at first, but now I don’t think they’re entirely true. He’s a better man than he’s willing to let anyone know.”
“I’m fully aware of that. And that has nothing to do with why I broke with him.”
When he looked expectantly at her, she realized how very much he cared about her. And how little faith she’d put in him heretofore. She’d been as bad with Edwin as Jeremy had been with his family—closing him out, not revealing the doubts of her heart.
Perhaps it was time she told him what she could. If nothing else came of her two-day engagement to Jeremy, at least she could make sure she held on to the one good thing to come out of it: a better relationship with her brother.
With that decision made, she began to explain about Jeremy.
The rest of the day passed in a daze for Yvette. The meeting with Meredith, who’d readily agreed to take Elias. The interminable trip home to Stoke Towers. The lonely dinner with Edwin that reminded her she was supposed to have been celebrating her engagement tonight with Jeremy and his family. All of it felt otherworldly, as if it existed on one plane and she on another.
How would she go on if he couldn’t change? Was it even right of her to ask him to?
Yes. She knew herself too well to believe she could marry a man who still had one foot in his old pain. Who, as his sister had put it, had “been shattered—may always be shattered—by the past.”
But oh, how it hurt. Going to bed was a pointless ritual; it wasn’t as if she could sleep. She still smelled him on her nightdress. Though it wasn’t their lovemaking that she kept dwelling on.
It was the other things—how he’d listened to her tale about the lieutenant without judging, how he’d persisted in wanting to marry her because he’d ruined her... how he’d held her and complimented her and confirmed what she’d wanted to believe—that she was a woman worthy of a decent husband. One who genuinely cared about her.
