Page 21 of The Pleasures of Passion
“Did you ever tell her about our previous association?”
“No.” She thought a moment. “But Delia and Clarissa told her about our encounter two weeks ago at Stoke Towers.”
“Then it shouldn’t surprise her that we know each other well enough to get engaged.”
She bit her lip. “Still, she’ll hate me when she finds out our betrothal was merely a ruse.”
“No need for her to find out at all. Once the counterfeiters are routed, you can pretend to be appalled that I used you as a pawn in my spying, and then you can break off the engagement. She’ll probably applaud you for jilting me.”
“I doubt it. She’ll probably applaudyoufor turning Papa in. She doesn’t like him, because of what he—” She halted, before she could reveal too much of her mortifying past. “Besides, in the meantime, I’ll have to make her think I’m eager to marry you, and I’m awful at playing roles. Unlike Delia, I can’t pretend to be something I’m not.”
When he snorted, she stared at him. “What do you mean by that?”
He turned instantly wary. “By what?”
“Your snort! It sounded as if you didn’t believe me. When have you seen me pretend anything?”
“During those months we were secretly courting, for one thing.” His expression turned curiously wary. “You had no trouble pretending not to know me when we were in public.”
She swallowed. “That was different. We hardly saw each other in public, since I wasn’t yet out. But every time I told some tale to Mama so I could sneak out and meet you, I felt horribly guilty. Thank heaven she was too sick to notice how bad a liar I am.”
He snorted again.
“Why do you keepdoingthat?”
“Doesn’t matter. Look, we’ve got to go into this full force. Hell, we should announce it here, tonight. Clarissa will be ecstatic, and Mother—”
“Clarissa, oh, heavens! She’ll hate me after this, too!”
“No, she won’t,” he said firmly. “I’ll smooth it all over, I swear.”
“Niall—”
“Just think of your lad, all right? You’re doing this for him. Not Fulkham, not your country, not even your father. You’re doing it to save yourson’sfuture. That’s all that matters. The rest will fall into place.”
“But what do I say if Clarissa wants to know details—how we fell in love,whenwe fell in love?”
“Tell her what we’re telling Sir Oswald. This is a sensible arrangement—a way of giving your son a father, that’s all. Clarissa will understand that.”
“I’m not so sure. Clarissa is something of a romantic.”
“But she knows that you’re not, doesn’t she?”
Brilliana caught herself before she could protest his assumption and reveal exactly how susceptible she still was to him, how much her heart had bled when he’d left. If he knew, he’d take advantage of it to get her into his bed. “Yes, she does.”
He nodded, as if that confirmed something. “You needn’t give her the nonsense about my checkered past and your mercenary desires. Just tell her—and your aunt, if you like—the part about how we’re making a practical arrangement. They won’t find that odd for a bachelor needing an heir and a widow needing a father for her son. Then, when everything falls apart, you won’t feel guilty for deceiving them, and they won’t worry about your broken heart.”
“Right.”Shewould be the only one worrying about her broken heart.
No, curse it! She wouldnotlose her heart to him again. It was time she accepted that the man she’d loved had never existed. It was time she took control of her own happiness. Once this was done, she would purge Niall from her system, retire to Camden Hall, and live out her days there with Silas.
“Can you manage that?” he asked.
Perhaps, if she approached it the way he suggested. In a way it was the truth. Thiswasa practical arrangement, to further Silas’s future. Only the marriage part was a lie.
“I believe so, yes.” She rubbed her arms. “I’ll have to, won’t I?”
He eyed her closely. “Don’t think of it that way, or your resentment will show. Think of it as an adventure. Your first effort at being a female spy. If you really mean to bury yourself in the country after this, then here’s your chance to have a bit of fun.” A trace of irony threaded his voice. “To flit about town on an earl’s arm and get invited to all the best parties.”
