Page 38 of When the Rogue Returns
“Why not?” He backed her toward the settee. “We’re married.”
“Yes, but... I’m not the same woman you knew.”
“You look the same.” He sat down on the settee and dragged her onto his lap so he could brand her neck and her shoulder and her throat with hot kisses. “You taste the same.” He cupped her breast, reveling in the moan she gave before she leaned into his hand. “You feel the same.”
When her nipple tightened beneath his caress, he realized that there were no enhancements in her riding habit to make her breasts seem bigger. “Well, mostly the same.” He stroked her other breast, too. “These are a bit larger than I remember. However did you manage that?”
Her eyes shot to him, looking startled, even frightened. “What do you mean?”
“I’m teasing you, that’s all,” he murmured, not wanting her to withdraw from him again.
“Oh.” She dropped her gaze to where his hands fondled her shamelessly. “Well... I... I was young when we parted. I guess I grew a bit.”
“Trust me,” he said as he kneaded her breasts, enjoying the feel of them and the way her cheeks flushed, “I’m not complaining.”
“What man ever would?” she said dryly.
He laughed. It wasn’t something the old Isa would have said. “True. And you’re right—you aren’t the same woman. But I’m not the same man, either.”
Sadness spread over her face. “No, you’re not.” She seized his hands as her eyes met his. “There was always a darkness in you, and I accepted that because I knew it came from your service in the war. But you were never hard, as you are now. What happened to make you so hard?”
He stiffened. “My wife deserted me, that’s what happened. I was left to pick up the pieces and be accused of—”
When her expression turned troubled, he could have bitten off his tongue. Right now he wanted her in his bed. He didn’t want to dredge through the past.
“Accused of what?” she whispered. “If youdidn’tleave Amsterdam the way Jacoba and Gerhart said, then you must have been around when they found the imitations at the palace.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to pull her close for another kiss, but she twisted free and left his lap to stand staring down at him.
“Tell me what happened,” she said firmly. “I need to know.”
“Why?” he snapped. “So you can be sure that I kept your secret? That no one is searching for you and your family?” When she recoiled, he rose from the settee with a curse. “I’m sorry, Isa. I didn’t mean that.”
She held her ground, though he towered over her. “I think you did. But I suppose you have good reason.” She lifted her hand to stroke his cheek. “Please, Victor, I have to know what they did to you. Did they blame you for the theft? Or did you leave before they could? You said you went to Antwerp.”
“After my life had been destroyed.” Shoving her hand away, he stalked past her to the fireplace. “Since no one was ever going to hire me in Amsterdam again, I had to try to find work elsewhere.”
“Because of me.”
“Yes, damn you!” he growled, whirling on her. “Because of you.”
9
ISA WENT COLD.“So it’s my fault you’ve become such a hard man,” she whispered. “You blame me for what happened to you.” How could he not? She’d let Jacoba and Gerhart convince her that he would do something entirely contrary to his nature.
And he’d had ten years in which to curse her name, ten years to turn into the bitter man who faced her now.
“I did blame you. But now I don’t know what to think, who to blame.”
At least he was as confused as she was. “Do you think I’m lying about not being directly involved in the theft?”
“Of course not.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “It’s just... Damn it, I don’t understand how you could have trusted them! How you could have thought, even for one moment, that I would help them steal something?”
“You thought the same thing of me. How is that any different?”
“But Ididn’tbelieve it,” he said fiercely. “Not at first.”
She swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”
