Page 93 of The Secret of Flirting
“You’ll see,” he said noncommittally. Then he folded his arms beneath his head as if settling in for the night.
She wanted to laugh. It had been a long day, so she understood why he might be tired, but he looked so adorable as he fought sleep that she also wanted to snuggle up against him and stay the whole night.
How horrible that she couldn’t. She waited until she heard his breathing even out before she left the bed. For a moment she just stood there, staring at him, memorizing every inch of him.
She knew what she must do, no matter what he seemed to think about it. Perhaps the count would take pity on her and take Grand-maman in nonetheless. Or perhaps Lady Ursula could convince him to do so.
But to persuade them of that, she’d have to tell them Gregory’s dirty little secret, and she just couldn’t. Even the thought of him suffering abuse as a boy at the hands of his father made her throat close up and her heart constrict.
No, she mustn’t tell a soul. It was too dangerous.
She gathered her clothes and dressed as best she could without help. With any luck, she could make it to her bedchamber without being seen. She’d just have to hope that Flora kept her mouth shut. But first...
Slipping into the study, she found some paper and a quill pen. Perhaps she was a coward to do it this way, but she couldn’t argue with him anymore. He always overwhelmed her with his assertions that he would take care of matters that she knew he couldn’t change. So this was the only way.
Sitting down at his desk, she began to write.
When Gregory awoke, he was disappointed to find that Monique had left. Though he wasn’t surprised. She was far more conscious of her reputation than he seemed to be these days.
He thought over what had occurred to him earlier: a plan to gain everything he wanted while also thwarting Danworth. Monique had put the idea in his head by speaking of insinuation. It had dawned on him that insinuation could work forhim, too. He would need to do research—speak to some people, have Hart speak to some people, lay out everything beforehand—but it just might work.
And if it didn’t?
Fear seized his gut. If it didn’t, he would lose everything. And Monique would, too, if she chose to stay with him. But at least her future—and that of her grandmother—would be secured. And he would have her. Forever. They’d be joined together in scandal, but that was better than letting Danworth succeed in his blackmail. Or get away with his attempts to murder her.
Gregory rose from the bed. It was worth any risk to make sure that didn’t happen. And how strange that the idea of having her as his wife made him almost giddy with excitement. He hadn’t felt giddy since he was a boy and he and John had gone fishing together on one of those rare occasions when Father had gone to London without them.
He pulled on his drawers and went into his study. That’s when he noticed the sheet of paper on his desk. Odd. It was a letter from Monique. And as he read it over, he began to scowl.
Dearest Gregory,
I know that you think you’re doing what is right, and I admire you for it. Truly, I do. But I refuse to be the cause of scandal for you and your mother, especially after all you’ve endured.
So tomorrow morning I shall leave with your friend Lord Hartley and return to Dieppe. Let the count explain the reason for it, if he can.
As for you, you must do what your conscience dictates, but if you are as wise as I know you are, you will act to preserve your future and your family.
And forget about me. It would be one thing if you loved me, but as you said, it is only desire for you. I don’t want to see you toss away everything for desire when you can find that with any pretty woman. You need a wife whom you can love as I love you. Clearly, I am not the one who fits that requirement.
Just know this. I shall never forget you.
With much affection,
Monique
He balled the letter up in his fist and tossed it into the fire. Damn her! Had she no faith in him? She’d fully intended to sneak away without his knowledge. How could she?
It would be one thing if you loved me...
Love, hah! Why did she think he despised the very idea of it? Because of things likethis—people using the idea of love to get what they wanted.
He scrubbed one hand over his face. No, that wasn’t fair. She wasn’t trying to get anything from him. She was trying to save him. But didn’t she see? That was precisely the problem with loving someone. It made you do mad things, reckless things... dangerous things.
Mother’s love for Father had nearly destroyed her, and might very well destroy Gregory, too, if he didn’t make his plan work. Every friend of his at St. George’s who’d fallen in love had ended up in some sort of trouble for it. And he’d had a hand in helping two of themoutof their trouble.
Still, they’d also ended up happy after facing that trouble with their wives, together.
Scowling, he went to put on his clothes. That didn’t change the fact that she’d tried to sneak out without saying any of this to his face. Clearly she’d thought he wouldn’t see the letter until morning, until after she’d left with Hart.
