Page 79 of The Secret of Flirting
She cupped his jaw with a touch so tender, it made him groan. “Yet you’d sentence me to a living death with a succession of protectors in Dieppe.”
God, what a choice she laid before him. Because she might be right about the count. He simply didn’t know. Obviously, the man hadn’t paid her branch of the family any attention until now. And he possibly wouldn’t pay it any more if Aurore lived, but lost her bid to become queen of Belgium.
Still...
“You could bemymistress,” he said before he reconsidered. “Return to Dieppe and wait for me until this is over and we find out about Aurore. Hart would accompany you and keep you safe before going on to Calais. Then, if Aurore lives and the count cuts you off, I could bring you and your grandmother back to England.” His blood ran hot at the very thought of having her as his own. “I could set you both up somewhere—”
“So I could hide away for the rest of my life, to prevent anyone from recognizing me as the woman who’d played Princess Aurore? Because that’s what I would have to do to keep from ruining your career.” Her breathing grew ragged. “I said I wanted freedom, and you offer me a gilded cage.”
The accusation cut him bone-deep as he recognized the fairness of it. Or rather, the unfairness of what he was offering her. “What about if you stay in Dieppe, and I pay for your grandmother’s care while you continue in the theater? That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
She eyed him skeptically. “And you would do that out of the kindness of your heart? For a woman you would never see again?” She caressed his cheek. “Or are you simply proposing to make me your mistress in France?”
Would never see again?The very thought of it made his chest seize up.
Hischest, not his heart. This was not obsession. Not need. Certainly not love. It was plain, old-fashioned desire.
God, even he wasn’t fool enough to believe that.
He caught her hand and pressed a kiss against the palm, then against the spot where he’d once left his mark. When desire leapt in her eyes, he said hoarsely, “And if I were? If I wanted to make you my mistress there?”
“It wouldn’t work, and you know it. We’d never see each other. And what would happen when you wish to marry?” When he opened his mouth to protest that, she pressed her finger to his lips. “Don’t lie to me or yourself. We both know you must marry eventually and you can’t marryme. Nor do I want to find myself with a string of by-blows—”
“There are ways to prevent that.”
She snorted. “Foolproof ways? Because I’ve seen actresses find themselves with child despite using French letters. Besides, I want children eventually. But not ones who will never see their father. I grew up without a father. I don’t want that for my own children.”
“Instead you want to go to Chanay and marry some... cursed fellow your great-uncle picks for you? Or return to Dieppe after your grandmother dies in hopes of marrying some French noble like the duke?”
A sad smile crossed her lips. “Would that bother you so much?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “Because part of what you said last night is true. I want no other man to have you.”
The moment he spoke the words, he knew they were true. He couldn’t bear the idea of her with another man, in marriage or otherwise. He wanted her for his own. And as she’d pointed out numerous times, that would never work.
“You only want me because you haven’t had your thirst quenched, my lord.” She slipped her hand inside his coat. “But we can easily remedy that.”
She was trying to distract him from his insistence that she go back to Dieppe before the vote. Before someone made a successful attempt on her life, which would destroy him.
Yet his cock rose at the thought of having her, even so. The bloody woman was shattering all his control. “Monique—”
“Shh,” she whispered as she rose to kiss him. “I want you, too, my lord. Here. Now, while everyone is still in Canterbury and the duke is at his toilette. While I can still have you. Give me this, at least.”
He let himself indulge in a long, hot kiss, in the delicious sweetness of her mouth and the tempting softness of her body in his arms. Then he drew back to rasp, “What about your determination not to have any of my... by-blows?”
“You said there were ways to prevent it—”
“No foolproof ways,” he reminded her.
She untied his cravat and drew it off inch by tantalizing inch. “I will risk it just this once, if only to gain the memory of being with you. That will have to last me a lifetime.”
“And afterward, you will agree to return to the Continent with Hart?”
Her answer was to pull his head down to her for another inflaming kiss. It wasn’t an answer, but he didn’t care anymore. Her remark about his not seeing her again was stuck in his head, and the thought of never having the chance to be with her blotted out the fact that he was a gentleman, that he should not do this, that they could be caught together...
Nothing mattered but taking her to bed.
Nineteen
