Page 62 of The Bachelor
She blinked, as if that were a silly remark. “Of course I don’t. Once he took Thorn’s money to leave, his mask was ripped off and I saw him for what he truly was—the worst sort of blackguard. Although by the time I realized it, he was long gone, leaving me . . . no longer chaste. Indeed, it was some months after his disappearance that I even learned of Thorn’s meddling and what it meant.”
“Is that why you’re still so angry at what Thorn did?”
“Partly.”
When she said nothing about any other reasons, he bit back an oath. It rankled that she still didn’t completely trust him with her secrets, but he could hardly blame her. Malet had taught her not to trust men. In some respects, her twin had taught her that, too.
“There’s one thing I don’t understand about all this,” he said. “When your brother paid Malet off, did heknowthat the man had seduced you?”
“I doubt it, or he wouldn’t have given Lionel a penny. And even after Lionel mysteriously vanished, I didn’t tell Thorn, for fear he would challenge Lionel to a duel upon his return. You see, I didn’t realize that Lionel was gone for good. I–I thought he’d been posted elsewhere or—” She shook her head. “I didn’t know what to think, frankly. I just kept waiting for a letter or a visit that didn’t come.”
God, it was worse than Joshua had thought. No wonder she was angry with Thornstock. The duke had left his twin to dangle in the wind. Granted, Thornstock had thought he was doing the right thing, but . . .
“After Thorn revealed everything,” she went on, “which he did only because I was pining away for Lionel, I continued to keep my physical relationship with Lionel secret because I dared not risk Thorn’s hunting Lionel down to duel with him.”
“Thornstock probably would have won, judging from what I’ve heard about his prowess with a dueling pistol.”
“I couldn’t be sure. And though I didn’t want Thorn to die, I was just as worried he might ruin his own life by killing Lionel. After all, not even the stepson of a British ambassador on foreign soil can murder a British soldier with impunity. What’s more, our stepfather wasn’t expected ever to become duke, so—”
“It would also have ruinedhisfuture in diplomacy.”
“Exactly.”
Another question occurred to him. “So, does Thornstockstillnot know that Malet seduced you?”
“He does not. And I prefer to keep it that way.”
Joshua remembered her threatening to turn in both Malet and her brother if Malet initiated a duel. “Then should I assume you also didn’t tell Thornstock about the blackmail?”
She looked at Joshua as if he’d gone mad. “I would have had to tell him the reason for it.”
“And once again, you were worried he’d fight Malet.”
“Yes.”
“So whatdidyou tell him about why Malet was on the estate a week ago?”
“That Lionel had asked me to meet to renew our acquaintance, and I’d gone there in person to make sure he understood I was no longer interested. Then Lionel had attempted to kidnap me.”
Joshua gaped at her. “Your brotherbelievedthat ‘balderdash,’ to use your favorite word?”
She nodded. “That’s when he decided I needed a bodyguard.” Interlacing her fingers over her stomach, she smiled faintly. “I think he just felt so . . . guilty over sending Lionel away years ago that he didn’t pry too much into whether I was telling the whole truth.”
Anger swelled up in Joshua again. “That means both you and your brother lied to me about my purpose here. If even one of you had told me the truth about the blackmail—”
“Ididn’t tell you because you would have gone straight to Thorn. He’s the one who pays you, after all.” She tipped up her chin. “And Thorn didn’t tell you because he doesn’t trust anyone, even me. Thorn figured it was best for us to focus on what he believed to be true—that Lionel was trying to kidnap me.”
“What about once we got to London? If you’d told us about the blackmail then—”
“You both would have known I’m . . . what Lionel called me.” She straightened her shoulders. “A harlot.”
Joshua snorted. “Neither of us would consider you a harlot.”
“No? Trust me, sometimes Thorn can be quite prudish. And you don’t strike me as the . . . sort of fellow to condone fornication.”
It was beginning to dawn on Joshua what was at the root of all this. And why Malet, clever devil that he was, had stumbled on the one thing she feared most of all, the one thing that had kept her silent. Like the torn ligatures and muscles in Joshua’s leg that still ached after five years, her wound was hidden, and no one except Malet could see it. What was worse, the bastard knew exactly how to press on it to cause her pain.
“You’re afraid to find out what your twin might think about you and Malet.” Joshua walked closer, his heart pounding in his ears. He was on the verge of really understanding her. “You’re afraid to find out whatIthink. That’s why you’ve chosen the strategy of not telling anyone the truth. Of rejecting me before I can propose marriage. That’s why you’ve drummed up this nonsense about my deserving a different sort of wife.”
