Page 80 of The Forbidden Lord
She shook her head wildly, struggling to regain her breath between hiccuping sobs. “You didn’t … hurt me.”
The tension in his chest eased. “So why are you crying?”
Scrubbing tears away, she gazed at him with red eyes. “Because it was so wonderful. And I’ll never do it again.”
A laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it. “Even I can’t change that. I’m afraid a woman can only be deflowered once in her life.”
The words sobered him: only once. He’d done the unthinkable—he’d taken a woman’s innocence. He waited for the anger to come, the sense of betrayal that she’d managed toaccomplish with trickery what no other woman had. Yet all he felt was happiness that it had been him and no one else.
“I … I don’t mean the deflowering,” she stammered. Color suffused her face as she glanced away. “I mean, you and I shall never make love again.”
“I don’t see why not.” He stroked her golden hair, a strange peace settling over him as he made the only decision he could. He’d always known what would be expected of him if he ever made love to a woman like Emily. But he hadn’t thought he’d be so pleased about it. “Certainly we must be discreet until we marry, but after that--”
“Marry!” She sat up, crossing her arms over her breasts in a vain attempt at modesty. “You aren’t going to marry me, Jordan. You can’t.”
Her reaction surprised him. “Of course I can. And I will, now that I’ve taken your virginity. I’m not such a cad as to debauch a woman, then send her home without so much as a fare-thee-well.”
“Then give me a fare-thee-well. But you needn’t marry me—I told you that from the beginning. This was a bargain, that’s all. It was the only way to keep you silent.”
Slipping from the bed, she hurried to where her chemise lay and pulled it on. He stared down at the red stain she’d left behind.A bargain, that’s all. The horrible words pounded into his brain. Did she truly see it that way?
Well, it didn’t matter how she saw it, he thought wearily. It didn’t change anything. He sat up, wishing she hadn’t left the bed so quickly. “Emily, be practical. We must marry. It’s the only thing that will save your reputation.”
“No one knows of this. It needn’t affect our lives.”
“Too late for that.” He climbed from the bed and approached her. He gathered her in his arms, and though she stood stiffly, she let him hold her. “I could never let you walk away now.What if you find yourself with child?” Tipping her chin up, he stared into her anxious face. “Would you deprive the child of his father?”
“No, but … it’s not likely, is it? We only … I mean, it was just once?—”
“Believe me,” he said bitterly, thinking of his parents, “just once is all it takes.”
Her face turned ashen. “I’ll deal with that problem if it happens. But I shan’t let you marry me. I know you must think that I planned it all along, but truly, I didn’t come here expecting you to marry me.”
“Iknowthat.”
“I-I thought you would be delighted to have me without any obligation. I didn’t expect anything else. Truly, I didn’t. I would never force you into marriage.”
He didn’t know whether to be pleased or insulted by her frantic eagerness to convince him. “I believe you, darling.” He cradled her close. “I’m offering marriage because I choose it. Iwantto marry you.”
“No, you don’t. You said you have no use for virgins.”
“I know what I said. If matters had been different, I wouldn’t have sought one. But I’ve already had the virgin, so honor dictates I must marry her.”
She twisted away, her face filling with hurt. “Honor? That’s why you wish to marry me? To preserve your honor?”
“Now, Emily--” he said soothingly as he reached for her.
Swatting his hands away, she caught up her gown and pressed it to her chest like a shield. “I don’t want your honor!”
With a scowl, he found his drawers and drew them on. This was turning into a lengthy discussion, the last thing he wanted right now. What he wanted was to take her back to bed and make love to her again.
But it appeared she would have none of that. Obviously, she wanted him to make some foolish vow of love. Well, she wasnotgetting that from him. Bad enough he was so obsessed with her that even the thought of marrying her made his blood race and his hands itch to hold her again. That was all the power over him he wished to give her.
“We are going to be married, Emily,” he said evenly as he advanced on her. “That’s the only way to fix this situation.”
“There is nothing to fix.”
“Isn’t there? Come now, Emily, you were so desperate for my silence that you ruined your entire future to obtain it. I’d say there’s a great deal that needs fixing, and marrying me will certainly do it. Nesfield won’t be able to touch you then.”
