His eyes tighten. “I know that. It’s not that. I know I can’t do everything, but why wouldn’t I do what I can?”
Because I’m scared.
“There has to be another way to—”
“There isn’t.” His phone chimes. His driver has arrived. He places his hands on my shoulders. “Think about what this will mean for the kids. A full-time ASL teacher for Lylah Kate. Maybe a cochlear implant if she’s a candidate. Tutors for the kids with learning disabilities. The kind of technology that will actually give them a chance in today’s world.”
“Jonah...” I can’t argue with his list but it’s not his responsibility to provide those things.
“I have to go, Hollis. Please, make yourself at home. I’ll keep in touch the best that I can. I really appreciate this.”
He’s practically running out the door.
I reach for his jacket and tug. “Jonah, please. Stop and think for just a minute. We need to talk.”
He turns, meeting my stare with a heated one of his own. “I know it seems like I’m running away from you, Hollis. From whatever is going on with us. It’s just bad timing, that’s all. When I get back, we’ll talk. I swear it.”
“Whatever your reasons are, I want to go on record saying I officially think this is a terrible idea.”
He nods. “Noted.”
“You left the UFC—that world, that life—for a reason. For lots of reasons.”
“If anything happens to me, the boys are yours. Matter of fact, the WDA is yours too.”
“Don’t say things like that.” A lump of emotion clogs my throat.
“I’m kidding,” he says, leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a few days.”
“So much for a merry Christmas,” I mumble because I know there’s no changing his mind. He’s still standing here physically, but I see the faraway look in his eyes.
He’s already gone.
When he opens the door, I can’t help myself. This mouth of mine has a mind of its own. “You’re sure you really want to do this?”
Jonah stops, freezing in place and turning to face me once more. “Honestly? No.”
“Then why—”
“You know how I got into fighting in the first place? How I learned I could knock a guy out with one hit? Protecting the people I love, Hollis. I will always fight for the people I love. Always.”
He kisses me once more, crushing his lips to mine. I savor the brief contact. But it’s over as quickly as it began and he’s out the door.
It closes with a slam and I stare at it for a full minute.
“When will you fight for us, Jonah?” I say only to myself. “When are you going to start fighting for your own happiness?”
Only Zeus and Ache hear my desperate plea.
Neither of them has an answer either.
19
JONAH
COME ALL YE’ FAITHFUL
Training is brutal but it has to be. The only way I stand a chance of holding my own against Stryker is to utilize every possible second.