Page 69 of The Naughty List
And now it’s nothing compared to how Hollis makes me feel just by existing. Her smile, her laugh, her touch.
The past week has been the hardest of my life, and I’ve survived the jungle and the state foster care system so that’s saying something. But not because of the strenuous schedule, or cutting weight, or the endless endurance training.
Because I have missed my girl.
And it’s time I ask her if she’s ready to be that, because once Hollis Rossi is officially mine, I am never, ever letting her go.
I made this mistake before. Lost everything once already.
I won’t do it again.
I won’t lose her over this.
I begin to unwrap my hands. The staff Rock hired rushes to my aid, but I wave them off.
I toss my grappling gloves onto the metal folding chair and exit the cage. My heart thuds painfully through my entire body as I storm toward the locker room.
“Call her, Addison,” I shout over the crowd as I walk past her front row seat. “Please. Tell her I’m not doing this without her. If she doesn’t want me to do this, then I won’t.”
I’ll figure out another way to raise the money for the home.
Rock follows close behind, calling my name but I can’t deal with him right now.
He didn’t check on me these past few years. He didn’t reach out until he stood to gain something from it.
He doesn’t make me muffins and make me smile and make every goddamn day better just by existing.
Fuck him.
With two fingers, I signal the two security guards at the door to lean in so they can hear me. “Don’t let anyone in unless they’re female, got it? Last name Rossi only.”
They both nod their understanding. The door slams shut behind me and I drop myself onto the padded leather bench in the middle of the room.
I don’t know how long I sit there, in the dark, head in my hands trying to figure out how the hell I ended up here.
I swore I was done with this. Done communicating with my fists. Done profiting from inflicting pain. I am more than this. I’ve proven that with the WDA. I am capable of doing some good in this life.
Aren’t I?
I rub the tension from the back of my neck and think about Hollis. Sweet, sexy, beautiful Hollis.
The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew she was too good for me. But I couldn’t let her go either. Because damn, who can let go of something so perfect? Even if all you get is to admire it from afar, that’s better than nothing.
But Hollis gives me so much more than that. She gives me everything she has to give, including herself.
And I fucked it up. Like I always do. But she forgave me.
Not in the “I forgive you, but I’m going to hold this shit over your head for years,” kind of way. She truly forgave the biggest mistake I ever made.
I hurt her. The one person I never wanted to hurt because I need her.
I fucking love her.
Therein lies the truth I’ve tried to avoid admitting for two solid years.
In all my adult life, I’ve made damn sure never to need anyone. But I need her.
Whatever else I do in this life, I will do with her.
