Page 67 of Keep Me Still

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I snort. “Worry about your own shit, Martin. Isn’t that what you always tell me to do?”

Skylar comes around to stand in front of me.Bad idea, dude. All this hurt is pissing me off and I don’t know what to do with it. I kind of wish Blackburn would get all up in my face so I could let loose on him.

I am my father’s son, after all.

“I would. But your shit’s affecting my shit. Fuck, I shouldn’t call her shit.” Skylar rubs the back of his neck as I put my weights down. I slow my breathing so I can listen to the rest of what he’s saying. “Corin’s upset. More than upset. Layla’s barely even speaking. Cor said she goes to class, she smiles like a goddamn robot, and then she just sleeps all the time.”

I hurt her. Again.“Corneeds to get a fucking life of her own. Or wait, she doesn’t have afucking life,does she?”

It was the wrong thing to say on so many levels, and I know it. Skylar’s in my face so fast I barely have time to blink. “I’m gonna give you a pass this once, because I know you’re dealing with a…whatever the hell it is your dealing with. But I won’t comment about your freaky chick and you don’t comment about mine.”

If he’d called her anything other than “freaky,” I would’ve been okay. Memories of them treating her like a leper in high school slam into me almost as fast as my fist slams into Skylar’s face.

He bull-rushes me and something falls, clanking loud and hard. Somewhere in my mind it registers that a weight room is not the best place to get into a brawl. Too late now.

“Goddammit, O’Brien,” he huffs as I sink my fist into his stomach.

We’re rolling over top of one another when I hear the door open and a herd of footsteps pounding towards us.

Hands clutch me and pull me off of Skylar. Half the team watches as we face off with Coach Wicks between us.

“What the hell happened here?” Coach asks, looking back and forth between us.

“My fault, Coach,” I say, because it’s true.

“Girl problems,” Skylar mumbles, looking away.

Coach probably thinks we’re fucking the same one now, but I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. I need to go for a run. A long one. “Won’t happen again,” I say, feeling guilty because Skylar didn’t deserve that and I know it.

“You’re damn right it won’t. O’Brien, you’re off the team. Get your shit and go. Martin, get your ass in my office,now.”

You’re nothing and you’ll never amount to a damn thing. How can any son of mine be such a goddamn waste? Oh fuck, are you going to cry? Get out of my sight. Go cry to your mommy.

“Yes, sir.”

The Colonel’s voice carries on in my head as I leave. It’s still reminding me of what I already know about myself as I head upstairs and start packing my things in the dorm. Skylar comes in at some point and says something but I have no idea what. So I ignore him.

“Where are you going?” he asks as I carry my shit out.

It takes me a second to realize it’s Skylar talking now and not my dad. Thank God I have my truck back. “What?”

“I asked where you were going, dude. It’s not like you have to vacate the dorms tonight. Being off the team doesn’t mean you have to leave school.” He cocks his head towards my bag, and I know I should apologize. I just can’t get the words to my mouth.

“It does for me. Back to Colorado, I guess. Till I figure something else out.”

But first I’m going to go see Layla. Try one more time to say goodbye so we don’t leave it like this.

“Shit, Landen, I’m sorry. Seriously. Why don’t you stay at my friend’s loft tonight? He’s still out of town. Sleep on it. Then maybe we can go talk to Coach tomorrow together and work something out.”

“Naw, no worries. It was probably time to go anyways. Shouldn’t have come here to begin with.” So I wouldn’t have hurt her like I did. Fucked up like I knew I would.

“Dude, seriously. Here’s the key to my friend’s place. It’s on 16th and Lane, above the pizza place. Unit D.” He slides the key into my hand. I take it even though I don’t want to use it. I don’t deserve his kindness. Or anyone’s. “Just go and get some rest and we’ll grab some food in the morning or something.”

I can tell he’s not going to drop it, and I’m exhausted. I should probably get some sleep before seeing Layla one last time anyways.

Aftera shitty night of not really sleeping, I wake to someone rapping incessantly on the door. For a minute, I have no idea where the hell I am. There’s art all over the exposed brick on the walls, and I’m shirtless in my soccer shorts on a black leather couch. Then I sit up, remembering the past twenty-four hours.

Oh yeah. Right. I’m off the team, out of the dorm, and out of Layla’s life. I’m so fucking glad someone decided to wake me at the ass crack of dawn.