Page 36 of Keep Me Still
I’m interested in moving on. The words linger on my tongue but they’re not entirely true.
“So you’ve resorted to stalking me?” He shrugs and I go on. Saying what I shouldn’t say because I’m too weak to hold it all in when he’s this close. “I should say closure, right? So we can both move on. But since I’ve had a shitty day and I’ve been drinking, I’m just going to say what I really want.”
“Which is?”
Jesus he looks good in the deep green t-shirt that brings out his eyes and hugs his broad shoulders perfectly. I let him sweat it out while I run my tongue over my hand, sprinkle it with salt, and then lick it off. Thank God Corin taught me how to shoot tequila so I don’t make an ass of myself. He shifts his weight as I down my shot, but when I reach for the lime wedge I sat on the bar, it’s gone.
“Looking for this?” he says, holding my lime just out of reach. Ugh, my mouth is fighting the urge to pucker but it’s a losing battle. Corin said lemons would be better but I hate lemons.
“Landen!”
“Tell me what you want first.”
“No,” I say, making a grab for the lime but missing. Damn, he’s tall.
He cocks a brow. “Why not? Scared?”
“You’re the one who should be scared,” I say, trying to sound fierce like Corin but failing miserably.
“Oh, I was scared at first. Seeing you.” He looks down at me, breaking through my defenses with the determined power of his glare. “But I’m done with that now. Now I’m doing what I want. I just need to make sure it’s what you want, too.”
“Iwantmy lime wedge. Give it to me.”
“Oh, I will.” Landen snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me against him. “Open up.”
I swallow hard, and for a second I consider refusing. But I want that lime. And I want this man even more. Who knows if we’ll ever be this daring with each other again? So I open my mouth and he slips the lime in. And I suck it. Hard.
Heat pools between my legs, and I rub my thighs together to try and calm myself, but it doesn’t work. This isn’t a feeling I’m used to. It’s been a very long time since he had this effect on me. Maybe I used to think about him this way before, once upon a time, but that was a different girl. One who wanted love and marriage and all that Happily Ever After nonsense.
When my last EKG results came back abnormal right after he moved back to Colorado, I decided that girl could forget it. And him. And now I’m looking up into Landen’s perfect face, and I want something else. I want a physical connection. That kiss he owes me and then some. It might break us both, but I’m done being the girl who cries and hurts and longs. I want to be the girl who gets what she wants. For once. And the universe is not my friend when it comes to giving me what I want.
So I’m going to take it.
Idon’t know what’s changed in the past twenty-four hours, but Layla’s “live and let live” approach seems to have lost its appeal. We’re taking shots of tequila and she’s looking at me like she wants to bite me. After seeing her dancing in that tight-ass dress, I’m in.
Funny thing is, I had a completely different plan for tonight. When Skylar mentioned meeting up with them at a club earlier, I was dead set on flirting with some other girl in front of her so she could get a taste of her own medicine. I didn’t want to hurt her or anything, but I wanted to make her at least admit that she was jealous. That she had some kind of feelings for me other than thatfriendbullshit she was trying to sell me.
And then we walked in, and she was writhing against the music, her bare skin an array of colors under the flashing strobe lights, and I went so hard I had to sit down. Immediately.
Skylar and I were in the middle of giving each other shit about which one of us was more pathetic for coming here when Corin spun Layla around to face me. And damn, my erection died a painful death. She looked pissed. Super pissed actually, and I hated myself for ruining her night. I know what she’s been through, know better than anyone how hard it is for her to let go and have a good time. And I’d kind of hoped she might be happy to see me, but I’m a dumbshit apparently because she took off and disappeared into the crowd. Because I get off on punishment, I took off after her.
“If my being here is keeping you from enjoying yourself, I can go,” I tell her once we’ve ordered our second round of shots.
“Why would you say that?” She was laughing about my tequila face, but my words narrow her eyes and she’s still. I’m sitting on a barstool with her standing between my legs and my body is very aware of how well that dress hugs curves I don’t remember her having. Curves I want to get to know intimately in the very near future.
“You were tearing it up on the dance floor when I got here and now you’re not.” I shrug like I don’t need confirmation that she wants me here like I need my next breath.
“I’m having fun here. Why, you wanna dance or something?” Her tone is light, but her eyes are still guarded.
Or something.We’re testing each other. Still putting on a show, when all I want to do is unravel her, peel away the pain, and get back to that level of comfort we had when she would fall asleep in my arms watching movies.
“I want to watch you dance.”
“Hmm…guess you should dance with me then. I mean, that’d be the best possible view.” She looks up at me through her eyelashes. “Unless you want me to dance with someone else.”
Like hell.The mere thought has me ready to attack a faceless stranger for daring to touch her. “Lead the way and I’ll follow.”
The dance floor is crowded, and she’s still my Layla in a lot of ways, so she parks us on the periphery of all the other grinding couples. A slower song comes on and she’s moving tentatively around me, nothing like the sexy shimmy she was doing with Corin. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me so she can feel how turned on she makes me, and it seems to give her courage. And I have just thoroughly fucked myself because she’s pressed against my dick and I’m bulging so hard it hurts.
