Page 5 of Keep Me Still
“So, um, thanks for the ride,” she tells me, unbuckling her seatbelt.
“No problem.” For a second our eyes meet and it looks like she’s about to say something else.
Again, I scramble to fill the quiet. “Um, hey, what happened?” Gently, my hand brushes her hair to the side, and I’m off balance just from the realization that she’s letting me touch her.
“Oh, nothing. I’m clumsy,” she says with a shrug, but her hands are shaking. I know I need to go, to back off. I can sense it. But there’s something about her ocean-colored eyes that keeps me from looking away. Something’s up. I know. I’ve had bandages and casts and injuries I couldn’t tell anyone about either. But the tension is literally rolling off her so hard she’s nearly vibrating. Subject change needed.
“You don’t ever drive to school?” I ask, noticing there’s no car in the carport.
“Don’t have a car,” she answers shortly, and then she looks away and pushes her door open before I can ask any more questions. As much as I want to beg her to stay in the truck a little longer, tell me more about her name, her favorite music, the bandage on her head, I can tell she’s overwhelmed. So I let her leave.
She doesn’t look back once. My eyes are glued to the image of her walking away from me. It doesn’t make sense, but it bothers the hell out of me the whole way home.
As I turn onto my own street, I remember I was supposed to stay after school today for team workouts. I promised my dad I’d stop by the football field to try out for the open kicker position. Shit.
Mentally I make up an excuse about feeling sick and leaving school early to tell the coaches when I see them tomorrow. But when I pull up and the Colonel’s truck is in the driveway, I know I’m fucked.
“You’rehome early,” Aunt Kate says when she comes home a few minutes after me.
“Yeah. I, um, got a ride.”Please don’t ask.
“From?” she asks, sorting through the mail she brought in as she tries to look less interested than she really is.
“Landen O’Brien.” And I can’t help it. Saying his name makes me smile. It also fills me with a warmth I’m not expecting. I have a friend. Sort of.
At that my aunt drops the mail and stares at me. “Is he cute?” She’s probably turning cartwheels in her mind at the possibility that I might stop being an antisocial loser after all.Keep the dream alive, Aunt Kate.
“No, he’s got this messed up grill and he walks like a hunchback actually.” Shuddering for emphasis, I bite my lip to keep from grinning.
“You’re hilarious, Layla,” she says with an eye roll.
“If I’m being honest, he’s way better than cute,” I say quietly, fully aware that my face is on fire. “And he’s new so…” So he doesn’t know what a complete freak show I am. But then, my aunt doesn’t know how bad it is for me at school so I just keep the rest of that sentence to myself.
“Lay, I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you do keep hanging out with him, you’re going to have to tell him about—”
“It was a ride home. Relax.”
But for the rest of the evening, I can’t relax. All I can think about is Landen O’Brien’s sweet smile and the way he blushed when I put onLaylain the truck. Maybe Aunt Kate was right. Maybe I can do more than justget through.
“Here,put this on it,” my mom says as she hands me a pack of frozen mixed vegetables for my jaw. Needless to say, when the Colonel called the Hope Springs High School athletic department to find out how my football tryout had gone and to get a game schedule, he was pretty pissed when the football coach mentioned that I was a no-show.
“He just has high expectations for you, Landen. You know that,” she reminds me. Making excuses for him has always been something she was good at it. But her eyes don’t meet mine. Believing her own excuses, however, she’s not so good at.
After I’d run the five miles for my punishment, I was stupid enough to make a comment about how it was my life, and with the Colonel already pissed, he jacked my jaw in response. I should know better by now. And I’m big enough to take him. But I just really don’t care anymore. And it would kill my mom to see us whaling on each other. So I suck it up like I’ve always done.
Landen’smouth feels so good on mine, I almost feel sorry for any girl who’ll never get to kiss him. Almost. His hands are big and strong and warm on my hips, pulling me closer, as if that’s possible. My body molds into him, and a fleeting thought races past. What if someone sees us?
I glance around the parking lot to see if anyone else has arrived but we’re still alone.
Until a black Chevy Avalanche with tinted windows pulls up beside us. A man in a dark hooded sweatshirt jumps out and I recognize him but I don’t know from where.
“Landen,” I murmur against his lips but he’s lost in our kissing. His tongue presses into my mouth when I open it and I can’t breathe. “Landen. Landen, stop.” I shove my hands against his chest but he doesn’t budge. His hands wrap around me, clutching me closer, too close. The man’s coming closer but I can’t warn him.
“Landen!” I scream but it’s too late. The gunshots ring out and his body goes limp in my arms.
“Landen!”
I wake up grasping my comforter. It’s twisted and gripping me so tightly I can barely move to disentangle myself.
