Page 55 of Loathing Ryan
I laughed and started to swing again. I knew what she meant, though, because I could feel it too. The anticipation that everything we had just started to build might not even get to see the light of day.
“Remember when I told you that I suspected my mom was going to get engaged to her boyfriend?” I asked.
Out of my periphery, I saw Bells nod her head. “Is that what happened?”
“Yeah,” I said bluntly. “And she’s pregnant.”
Izabel stopped her swing and looked over at me. “She’s pregnant?”
“Yup,” I said, my lips popping on the end of the word. “Due end of November.”
“That’s—well, that’s exciting!” Izabel said, her voice lighting up. “I think you’ll be a great big brother.”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“But?” she prodded, sensing my hesitation on the matter.
I fell silent for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts in a way to fully articulate how I was feeling. “I guess it’s just that things are never going to be the same now. You know, for the longest time, it was just the two of us. Now it’s going to be her and me, and Derek, and the new baby whenever it comes.”
“And you don’t think that sounds good?” she asked, her voice soft. I was so appreciative of the way Izabel listened to me. I never felt like she judged me for my thoughts or how I felt about certain things. She was just a sounding board, helping me work through some of the topics that bothered me.
“It just sounds different.”
“Different can be good, you know?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I guess it’s just going to take some getting used to.”
“Well, luckily for you, you have about six months to get used to that idea,” she teased me now, and I laughed lightly. “I’m sure your mom is excited.”
“She is,” I acknowledged. “Which is good; I want her to be happy.”
“You’ve got a good heart, Ryan Miller,” Izabel said. I looked over at her, and my heart stuttered when I took in her sparkling blue eyes, watching me with a fondness I couldn’t quite place.
I maneuvered my swing sideways, closing the distance between us. My hand grasped onto the chain of her swing, and I pulled her closer to me until our knees bumped together.
“Not as good as yours,” I whispered, leaning in and kissing her, as I wondered if I had ever spoken anything I meant more.
Izabel Sanders was one of the best humans I had ever had the privilege of knowing. I hoped she knew how much she meant to me and how grateful I was that she was in my life.
I resolved right then and there that even if we only had a short time left together, I would make sure that she knew it. She might’ve loathed me once, but I was determined to make sure that was all in the past.
24
IZABEL
The Saturday night following graduation,we all gathered at Lancer Lake in Cedar Ridge for a bigCon’grad’ulationsbonfire. Most of our classmates who didn’t live here were still in town from the graduation ceremony, knowing that this was a big tradition for the two schools’ graduating seniors. It was the last big hurrah before we all went our separate ways into the next phase of our lives.
The party was already well underway when Juliet and I rolled up. The fire was raging. It had been built tipi-style, with the base wider and the logs coming to a point at the top, the flames flicking up and around the firewood. A spot of moisture would crack every few seconds, sending sparks flying into the air. Red Solo cups were strewn across the grass, and the music was pumping.
She parked her car near the others, and we headed toward the party. It was a similar layout to the bonfires at Camp Wildwood. This time, though, there were no counselors or chaperones, and there was a keg instead of a punch bowl. If the schools asked, there was no alcohol here—but they never asked. Some of the juniors who had already returned from camp were in attendance as well, a few of them waving when they saw Juliet.
Jules stood next to me at the edge of the field with her hands on her hips, scanning the field. “Go find Liam,” I told her, laughing, knowing that’s who she was searching for.
I didn’t need to tell her twice. Juliet scampered off to go find her boyfriend. I shook my head in amusement as I watched her go. Taking a page out of her book, I looked around for that familiar head of unruly blond hair. I hadn’t seen Ryan yet, but I was sure he was close. Many of my classmates tossed mehellosandhow are yousas they watched me walk by. I was still a bit of an enigma with the whole “stranded in the woods” thing.
“Izabel!” I stopped as a hand wrapped around my wrist and got my attention.
Spinning around, I came face to face with a familiar Bennett boy. “Oh, hi, Mark. How’s it going?”
