Page 70 of Loathing Ryan
I smiled back at him and rolled onto my side. “What about it is perfect?”
“The sky, not a cloud in sight. The lake, the water feels great, and it’s surprisingly not crowded today. And you,” he said, grinning. “I missed you, Bells.”
Ryan had only been home for two days at this point, and he only got two weeks off this time around. That meant we were taking full advantage of his time at home. He would return to Berlin for the full summer internship with Bates. He wouldn’t have to worry about school for another month or so, but he would be spending all his time working.
I had finished up my first year at Princeton with flying colors. While I hadn’t gotten straight As for the first time in my life, I wasn’t discouraged. I was really looking forward to next year, because I would get to take a few more focused courses rather than just the general education credits.
This year was difficult without Ryan. Sometimes we would go all week without talking to each other. And I felt like sometimes, even when we did get to speak, we both had other things that we knew we had to be doing: homework, projects, or chores. But still, we persisted. When Ryan said he would call, he always did. He was never one to go back on his word.
Me, on the other hand...
Once or twice, we had scheduled a Skype date, and I got sidetracked with studying or some other extracurricular activity. And while I was always apologetic, Ryan was always understanding. He’d say, “Go have fun, Bells. You only go to college once.” And then we’d meet up again at the end of the week.
He really didn’t like that I was still hanging out with Mark, though. He never came outright and said it, but I could tell. He would get this line between his eyebrows whenever I mentioned something Mark did. Ryan was all about trust, and he’d repeatedly say that he trusted me, though he would occasionally question why I didn’t hang out with people inside my own major. The truth was that I tried, but I never seemed to click with anyone. Thankfully, I always had Mark to fall back on. He seemed to be the one constant in the craziness of moving to a new campus.
He had nothing to worry about. Mark was a great friend, but nothing more. Sure, I had fun hanging out with him, but I never felt whole at school. Half of my heart was with Ryan in Berlin, and I was never complete unless we were together. That’s what made all this struggle worth it. When we saw each other over breaks, I was reminded how much I was missing when he was gone.
We had four more years. I believed in us.
“I can’t wait for you to come to Berlin next summer,” Ryan said, still looking at the sky.
I scooted next to him on the blanket and leaned against his shoulder. Ryan kissed the top of my head, lingering there for a second.
“I can’t wait either. I’m so excited!” And I was. There were so many things I wanted to see and experience in Berlin. The plan was that Ryan would get a few weeks off and show me around.
It was still a year away, but it was something to look forward to. That was how we were getting by, I think. Having things to look forward to; events to count down. We needed to take advantage of every chance we got to see each other and reconnect.
Distance may make the heart grow fonder, but there was nothing quite like being in Ryan’s arms.
29
CHAPTER 29
Thanksgiving — Year 2 — Izabel
“Okay, you can do this,”I said, tapping the flashcards into a neat stack. I read through the terms again, waiting for Mark to answer each one correctly before moving on. He had a huge poli-sci exam at the end of the week, and he asked me to help him study.
Mark sat across from me at our table in the library with his head in his hands. “This blows. I’m going to fail the exam.”
I whacked his head with the flashcards. “You are not. Now stop it. You just have to get through this exam, and then we’ll be on Thanksgiving break, and you won’t have to worry about any tests or homework for awholeweek.”
Mark was not the best studier. He was more of the balls-to-the-walls type of guy, but typically scored well, which was annoying.
He looked at me through his fingers. “Yeah, you’re right. A break will be amazing. Much needed.”
I bit my lip and grinned. It certainly would. Ryan was scheduled to come home for Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t wait. This semester was challenging for both Ryan and me, so we needed some quality time to rest and recharge.
As if I summoned him just by thinking of his name, my phone screen lit up with a FaceTime call. Ryan’s name proudly stood out on the screen.
“Uh oh, Prince Charming is calling,” Mark teased me, grabbing his flashcards out of my hand so I could answer.
I handed them over, shaking my head, and swiped my screen to answer it. Ryan’s handsome face appeared, his hair an unruly mess. He had dark shadows under his eyes, which lacked the sparkle they usually had. He must have been having a rough week.
“Heya, Bells,” he said weakly, running his hand across his neck. I saw Mark roll his eyes from across the table. He hated that Ryan called meBells. He thought it was childish. Mark only ever called me Izabel.
“Hey, Ry,” I said back to him, grinning.
Ryan’s eyes trailed over my face, drinking me in. “You look beautiful.”
