Page 74 of Loathing Ryan
I glanced down at the pamphlet. The vivid picture of the Colosseum screamed back at me. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
Now Mark was frowning, his brown eyes staring at me hard. “I really thought you’d be excited about this. I saw the poster and knew I had to sign us up.”
“I know, and I appreciate it, but?—”
“If Ryan really loved you, he would understand. He would let you go.”
I shut my mouth as Mark’s words hit me in my core.If Ryan really loved me?
“Okay, well…” I trailed off, gutted by Mark’s crestfallen expression. “Maybe I’ll call and ask him and see if it’s okay.”
His eyes got slightly brighter, and he nodded. “You don’t need hispermission. But you should definitely call him. And tell him that you would hate to miss this opportunity.”
Still staring at Mark, I reached for my phone and scrolled until I found Ryan’s contact info. I did some quick math and figured he should be done with work by now. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t pick up so I wouldn’t have to give him this awful news.
Mark was right, though. Ryan would understand. He would see that this was an excellent opportunity for me.
The call rang until I heard the telltale melody that he had accepted the call. Ryan’s face appeared on my screen. It hadn’t been that long since I had seen him, only since New Year’s. But he looked different. He had gotten a haircut and was letting his scruffy beard grow out a bit.
“Hey,” he said, giving me a soft smile. “How’s it going?”
“Oh, um, fine,” I answered back. My eyes darted to Mark, who gave me an encouraging thumbs-up. “Actually, no, it’s not fine.”
Ryan frowned and raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
I glanced at Mark again. He must have gotten my message ’cause he nodded and stood before walking away, giving us some privacy.
“So, Mark surprised me with something today,” I started.
Ryan chuckled darkly. “I alreadylovewhere this is going. What was it?”
“He got me a tour of Italy.”
“Like from Olive Garden?” Ryan asked me, confused. “What, did you get food poisoning or something?”
I laughed, despite this situation not being funny. “No, Ryan. Notpasta. He signed us up to go with a group from school on a tour of Italy. This summer. While I’m supposed to be in Berlin.”
“Aw, well, that’s a bummer. Too bad you’re going to miss it. You would have loved that,” he said as he fiddled with something away from his screen. He was probably sitting at his desk at home doing work.
“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about….” I trailed off. “Ireallywant to go on this trip.”
Ryan’s eyes snapped to me again, his entire focus on me. “But you’re coming to Berlin.”
Pressing my lips together, I braced for the explosion I was about to cause. I didn’t have to answer Ryan for him to catch on to what I wasn’t saying.
Ryan’s gaze sharpened as he looked at me through the phone. I couldn’t meet his eyes, and I was sure he noticed. I don’t think I had ever seen such a stormy expression on Ryan’s face. He was not pleased. Rubbing his eyes with his fingertips, he took a deep breath.
“Okay, so let me make sure that I just heard you correctly. You want to go to Italy withMarkinstead of coming to Berlin to be withme?”
The tone of his voice had me pausing, and I instantly knew I had made a mistake bringing this up to him. Ryan had not used that tone on me in what felt like ages. The hardness of his words transported me back to the time long before Ryan and I had ever made amends, and my stomach soured.
“Well, that’s not really how I would?—”
“This is great, Izabel. Really great,” he cut me off with a growl. “We’ve been planning this forever. Can’t you do a different time for Italy? Spring break or whatever?”
“It’s a school trip,” I uttered weakly. “They already have the dates set. Maybe I could come to Berlin after Italy or before. Or you could meet me in Italy!”
Ryan shook his head. “You know that’s not going to work. Trust me, the last place I want to be is third-wheeling with you and your BFF. And you have finals, and then you plan on doing that internship in Chicago for the rest of the summer. You can’t miss that.”
