Page 25 of Loathing Ryan
“What are you doing here?” he asked, confused. His eyes trailed down to the bandage. “What happened to me? Where am I?”
What in the world? I sat up straight immediately, evaluating the situation. Ryan was looking around the cave as if he had no recollection of how we got here. That fever must have been really raging hard to leave him this out of it. Carefully, I told him what had happened. Realization dawned in his eyes as it all came back to him.
The kayak. The storm. The bluff.
He placed a hand on his forehead. “Shit.”
I leaned back with a sigh. “Agreed.”
Luckily, the sun was shining brightly this morning. I could hear birds chirping outside the cave, giving me an inkling of hope. Now that we could see, we could better understand where we were. My eyes darted down to Ryan’s bandage. It was soaked completely through.
I hopped up to my feet and offered him my hand. He looked at it, puzzled. “What are you doing?”
“We need to find a creek or at least a trickle of fresh water so I can wash that out,” I said, pointing to his side. He looked down and grimaced but didn’t protest, taking my hand and letting me help him into a standing position.
I grabbed his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders. He continued to stare at me in disbelief, but leaned his weight into me for support without much more than a grumble. As his feet dragged unconfidently with each step, his free arm wrapped around his middle, trying to support his injured side. We moved silently, aside from the occasional hiss of pain from him when we’d stumble along our path.
We didn’t have to walk far from the cave before I heard the sound of a stream. Thank God; something was going in our favor for once. When we came upon it, I had Ryan sit down against a fallen log as I untied the makeshift bandage. I nearly threw up when I pulled it away, bile roiling in my stomach. Covering my mouth, I tried to breathe heavily through my nose to fight the urge.
The skin surrounding the cut was bright red. The cut had somewhat clotted, leaving the skin with a jumbled dark maroon tint. Around the angry wound, bruises had formed, purple and blue mixing in with the nastiness of the injury. I gently put my hand on the side of the wound. It was hot to the touch, which made my already sour stomach churn even more.
I sat back and let fear take over for a second. Ryan was really hurt. My eyes steadily grew wider. I couldn’t peel them away from the atrocity that was his side. I had no idea how to get myself out of this situation. I was not a survival expert, nor was I even that outdoorsy. I was not prepared for this and most definitely not equipped. What were we going to do? If I did something wrong, Ryan could die. And it would be my fault.
Come on, Izabel. Think!
Straightening my spine and squaring my shoulders, my resolve kicked in. First thing’s first, I needed to wash the blood out of the bandage as best as possible, then clean out as much dirt as I could see inside the wound, and lastly, rewrap the wound to prevent anything else from getting in there. It would be a Hail Mary that additional malicious bacteria wouldn’t get into the wound from the stream water, but at this point, we had no other options. I sat up and headed over to the stream, determined that I could nurse Ryan back to health.
Because the alternative was unacceptable, even for someone I couldn’t stand.
I could feel his eyes watching me as I worked, but he didn’t say anything. He was probably still a little out of it from the stress and high fever.
That was fine with me. I didn’t want his opinion right now, anyway. I was fairly confident that my plan was the best course of action and didn’t want to hear what I was doing wrong. He’d probably have tons to say about what I was doing if he was his usual self. But I feigned composure and continued working in hopes of keeping him quiet a little longer.
Once satisfied with the cleanliness of the cloth, I turned back to Ryan, who was still slumped against the log, his hand gently cupping the gash to protect it. It had to be hurting pretty badly based on the way his face was twisted up. I bent down and looked up at him from under my eyelashes.
“Okay, this is probably going to hurt. I need to try to clean out whatever you got in it yesterday.” He dipped his chin at me to go ahead. I could tell the motion was forced by his awkward and sloppy movements. He was in bad shape.
He yelled, screamed, and swore the entire time I cleaned out the wound. But he didn’t fight me once. I managed to get the wound as clean as I could, re-washed the cloth, and re-bandaged his side fairly quickly. By the time I finished, he was sweating profusely, and his skin had taken on a pale appearance again. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were slightly sunken in as he glared at me, but he didn’t say anything negative. I helped him up and back to the cave, our steps even slower than before. As soon as we were back in our makeshift shelter, he slumped down against the wall. His shoulders rose and fell with labored breaths.
I put my hands on my hips and looked at him for a second. “I’m going to go look around,” I announced. “Don’t move.”
His eyes lolled up to me in a lethargic way. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Bells.” I rolled my eyes at him and went to head out. “Don’t get lost!” he called after me and weakly added, “I won’t be able to save you.”
I didn’t have it in me to respond. Typically, I would have said I didn’t need him to save me. Ever. But I wasn’t about to let my pride get the best of me, given that I would have drowned yesterday if Ryan hadn’t been there. All of a sudden, I was grateful that he discovered that I wasn’t the best swimmer during Question Jenga, even if the moment itself was mortifying. He easily could’ve left me for dead, thinking that I was being dramatic.
My mind flashed back to the image of Ryan running up the beach and diving back into the water, coming back for me. The look of determination on his face and the sheer willpower he had to jump back in to rescue me was something I would never forget, that was for sure. I had never been so happy to see that boy’s face pop up in front of me. And the fact that he didn’t even hesitate made my heart flip.
But I didn’t have time to dwell on that. I had to figure out the food situation. I figured my best bet, for now, would be to find something to hold us over until Ryan started feeling better or until someone found us.
I finally found a bush full of purple berries not far from our cave. Cautiously, I walked up to it and plucked one off its branch, examining it closely. They looked just like the elderberries my mom always kept on hand. I had never seen them actually on a bush, but I was confident that’s what they were.
Praying that this berry was what I expected it to be, I took a deep breath and popped it into my mouth. My teeth crushed the berry, and instantly my mouth exploded with a tangy, tart flavor. My nerves settled within seconds. This was definitely an elderberry bush. Totally edible and enriched with vitamins.
What a relief. I took the remains of the gray t-shirt and maneuvered it into a makeshift basket to load up the berries to bring them back to the cave. I couldn’t wait to show Ryan what I had found. Part of me hoped he would be proud. But then I hesitated—why did I care what he thought?
Oh, that’s right. I didn’t.
As I walked back to the cave with a t-shirt full of berries, I couldn’t help but feel accomplished. I was walking a little taller, and my steps were more powerful.
