Page 102 of Liberating Bells
“Adorable?”He scoffs. “You could have gone with any other word.”
I bite my bottom lip between my teeth and let my eyes roam over him. The apprehension surges to the front of my mind again. “Were you talking to your mom just now?”
He leans back in his chair and nods. Suddenly, he looks even more tired than he did a few seconds ago. Maybe Ryan needs a nap too. “Yeah, she wanted to know how you were doing. Howwewere doing.”
“Did you tell her I’m still a trainwreck?” I ask him, trying to put on a teasing tone.
Ryan doesn’t laugh or even smile at my joke. “Of course not.” He sighs and then swivels in his chair before patting his knee. “Come here, Bells.”
I do as he asks, closing the distance between us and settling myself on his lap. His arms circle around my waist and he holds me close, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the side of my neck. I close my eyes, relishing the contact and wrap my arms around his neck.
“I just want to be better,” I whisper.
“We’ll get there. I know we will.”
“Sometimes it just feels impossible,” I say. A tear leaks out of the corner of my eye and down my cheek. I swipe it away before he can see it.
“What can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it. Anything.”
This is something Ryan’s said to me over and over the last few weeks. I know he feels helpless a lot of the time, trying to be supportive without overbearing when I need space.
Sometimes I feel selfish, knowing that Ryan went through trauma that day just the same as I did. Yet still it seems that I’m always the one needing more attention, more care, alwaysmore.
“I don’t know how to answer that question, Ryan. I think it’s just going to take time,” I tell him. It’s not the answer either of us wants, but I think it’s the truth.
He’s quiet for a moment. His hand trails up and down my back, finally settling on my hip. “I just want you to know how much I admire your strength, and your will to keep going through each day.”
I swallow thickly, trying not to cry more at Ryan’s tender words.
He presses a kiss on my forehead. “We’re going to get through this, Bells. I promise you. And we’ll do it together.”
37
IZABEL
“Bells, wake up,”Ryan murmurs in my ear before pressing feather-light kisses against my cheeks, my eyelids, my mouth. I groan and clutch the pillow I’m holding closer to me.
“I don’t want to,” I complain.
I hear Ryan’s throaty chuckle from above me. He climbs up onto the bed and hovers over my body. Slowly, he peels back the covers until I’m not underneath them anymore. As he runs his hand up the length of my spine, and through my thin t-shirt, I can feel the heat of his touch.
“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he taunts me. I peek one eye open at him, making him laugh again. “Come on, Bells, up and at ’em. I’ve already packed a bag for you.”
“What? Why are you home from work so early? Where are we going?” I ask, the questions rolling out of me. I’m still groggy from my nap.
I snuggle the side of my face into my pillow, take a glance at the clock, and then do a double-take. How is it already one o’clock? I was just planning on taking a late-morning cat nap, and here we are, three hours later. With a sigh, I struggle up into a sitting position. Ryan is still on the bed, and he offers me a hand to support myself.
“I thought we could get away for a long weekend. We both need a break, so I took off early today. What do you think?”
I stretch my arms up above my head, feeling the muscles in my back and sides protest with the movement. “I think that sounds nice. Where were you thinking?”
“Probably up towards the mountains,” he tells me, bouncing off the bed and getting my shoes for me. “I only got a few days off, so we can’t go much farther than that.”
I nod. “I love the mountains. Are we leaving right now?”
Ryan’s green eyes shine as they observe me. He shoots me a wry smile. “If that’s okay with you?”
I nod again and then run into the bathroom to freshen up before we go. When I wander out of our bedroom, I see Ryan standing next to our bags on the floor. He’s holding my coat for me to slip into. It’s February now, and pretty chilly outside. Thankfully, Cedar Ridge is far enough south that we have more mild winters, but it’s definitely not tank top weather these days.
