Page 63 of Liberating Bells
Another laugh rolls out of my chest. “Yeah, we’ll see. If I ever get to that point.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” she asks me naively. I shoot her a look with my eyebrows raised. “Oh.”
The silence, this time, is awkward. I always feel that way whenever my feelings for her come up. She knows how I feel, how much she means to me. But it never changes anything. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the line, I’ll find myself someone new... Someday, maybe.
For now, though, I’m just happy to be here with her. Content to hold her hand and talk. Even if this is the last time we ever get to do this, I’ll be a happy man.
I still can’t help thewhat ifthoughts that spring up in my head. As we sit there, I let myself daydream that this is our life. That we can take weekend excursions whenever we want, and meander through cities for hours, hand-in-hand. I wonder whatwould have happened if we hadn’t let the distance come between us all those years ago—where’d we be today.
The sky darkens as I’m still lost in thought. I could travel down this spiral for years, playing out the many scenarios in my head.
But I don’t get a chance to as the first firework shoots off, making a trail of noise as it fires into the sky. A roar of cheers sounds from the nearby area, loud enough that we can hear it echoing from our post atop the parking garage.
Izabel sits up from our relaxed position and crosses her legs. Her eyes go wide with awe as she watches the colorful explosions. After a particularly impressive round, she looks at me to gauge my reaction, and I smile and nod.Beautiful.
I choose not to tell her that I don’t even see the fireworks going off in the sky. My attention is on her, watching the colors dance across her face and reflecting in her eyes. Izabel looks back at me after the finale goes off. Her eyes are sparkling with joy, her face beaming.
We pack everything up and get in the car. Izabel buckles her seatbelt as we’re driving off, and then looks at me sheepishly as her stomach growls loudly.
“Are you hungry?” I ask her, chuckling.
She shrugs and glances at me. “I wouldn’t turn down a pizza if you wanted.”
“Well, then I guess we’re going for pizza.”
We get a large carryout pizza from a small business close to our hotel. Izabel holds it as we get into the elevator and go to the fourth floor, turning to me with a questioning gaze. “Do you want to come to my room and eat? We could see if there’s anything good on TV.”
I stay quiet for a moment before I agree and follow her into her room. The line between friendship and something else is very clearly drawn in the sand in front of me, but eating pizzaalone in my hotel room sounds way worse than crossing that boundary a little bit. Izabel sets the pizza down on the bed and then reaches for the TV remote, turning it on and handing it to me.
“Here, make yourself comfortable. See if you can find something to watch. I’ll be right back!” She scurries into the bathroom and closes the door, locking it.
I stare at the brown door for a second before settling on the bed, flipping through channels. There really isn’t much on for a Saturday night, but I decide on some chick flick that I know she likes.
A few minutes later, Bells comes out of the bathroom and sits down next to me. Both of us lean against the headboard and put the pizza box between us. We settled on pepperoni, though I know that’s not her first choice. We each grab a slice and dig in, our attention on the movie.
Before too long, the pizza is gone, and we’re still lounging on the bed. Izabel scooted closer to me once the box was out of the way. Now, she’s cuddled into the crook of my arm, her head resting against my shoulder. I lean my cheek against her hair, feeling the softness tickle my cheek.
“Isn’t it so dumb that movies do this?” she asks, pointing at the screen. “They make it seem like a girl’s first time having sex is supposed to be all rainbows and sprinkles.”
“What?” I exclaim out loud. “Yours wasn’t like that?”
I glance down at her and see a sexy blush covering her cheeks. “I mean...no, it was perfect.”
I wrap my arm tighter around her. Damn straight, it was perfect. Maybe not rose petals and dreamsicles like the movies show, but it was perfect. “Definitely glad it didn’t happen in Old Mac’s cabin, though,” I say, gauging her reaction.
The blush deepens on her cheeks, and she covers her eyes with her hand. “Oh, God! He practically walked in on you having me for dessert. That was so embarrassing.”
I throw my head back and laugh. She joins along with me until we both have tears in our eyes. I finally get a hold of myself, the movie long forgotten. Bells is curled up next to me, her knee bent and pressed against my thigh. She wipes at her eyes and then looks to me, the corners of her lips pulling up into a grin.
My gaze traces her features, flicking down to her lips, and then back up to her eyes. Her lips part slightly, bringing my focus back them. My pulse picks up as I lean in toward her. My mind wars with itself, equally knowing that what I’m about to do is breaking all the rules I’ve created for myself, and also not giving one flying fuck. The way she’s staring at me right now draws me into her, her siren song too much for me to resist any longer.
I push my indecision and the hurt that I’ve felt for so long aside, choosing rather to focus on the twinkle of hope in her eyes, wishing that it means she feels how I am in this moment.
“Ryan?” she whispers, her breath fanning against my face, but it doesn’t deter me. My eyes are glued to her lips.
I finally close the distance between us, taking deep breaths through my nose as I meld my lips with hers, and my hand grips at her waist, pulling her into me. I manage to part from her lips, and give her a moment to push me away, slap me. Give me any type of signal that she doesn’t want this. I hope with everything in me she doesn’t pull away because,God,I want this. I wanther.
Izabel opens her eyes a second later, her eyebrows furrowing. I brace myself for the rejection that is sure to come, but I’m surprised when she puts her hands on my cheeks and brings her lips to mine again, kissing me with everything she can give.
