Page 73 of Liberating Bells
“Who said love was easy? I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be easy. It gets messy and ugly, and it hurts. But, a lot of times, it’s also the greatest thing to ever happen to a person.”
“Have you ever been in love?” I ask her. “Like, really in love?”
Josie presses her lips together and gives me a brisk nod. “I’ve loved plenty of guys. But I’ve only actually been in love once. A long time ago. But, like I was just saying, it got messy. We couldn’t work through it. But my issues are not the same as yours.”
“Yeah,” I respond. “I love her. Izabel. I’ll always love her. No matter what.”
“I know,” Josie says softly. “Did you two get to talk at all this weekend?”
“We did a lot more thantalk,” I mutter.
Josie’s hazel eyes go wide, and she scoots closer to me on the couch. “Oh, I like where this is going. Tell me everything.”
So I do. Well, mostly, everything. I tell Josie about our day spent out and about Nashville, the food trucks, the concerts, the fireworks. Then I tell her about how I ended up in bed with Izabel, not once but twice.
I leave out the part about the bruises on Bells’ neck. That was a secret she entrusted to me, and I’m not going to break that trust, even for Josie.
“So yeah, we hooked up. I fell even more in love with her if that was even possible, and I asked her to leave him,” I spill.
Josie is biting on the knuckle of her pointer finger, eyes still wide. “And? What did she say?”
“She didn’t really say either way. She’s scared. I don’t know what to do about it.”
The doorbell rings, and I get up, needing a break. I pull out my wallet and hand the delivery guy money for the food and a tip, and then I head back to the couch. We dig into our food, each grabbing a healthy serving.
“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Josie says between bites. She drops a bit of sauce on her leggings and slides it off with her finger. “You guys magically fall into bed together. Then out of the blue, you tell her to leave her fiancé and be with you, and she says she’s scared, and you’re mad at her for that?”
I look at my friend with a dumb expression on my face. “There’s more to it than that.”
Josie flips her dark curly hair around, tying it up into a bun on top of her head. “Like what?”
I glower at her. “I can’t tell you.”
Now Josie glares at me. “How am I supposed to help you if you can’t tell me what’s going on?”
“I just can’t, okay?” I growl. “All that really matters is that Iloveher, and that piece of shit isn’t evencloseto being good enough for her.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” she says simply. I feel my blood pressure rising, so I stuff my face with another large bite. After a while, Josie tries again, “I’m just saying, you can’t expect her to drop him just like that since she’s slept with you.” She snaps her fingers on“that.”
I turn away from her and glare daggers at the ground. “He is not a good guy, Josie. She needs to leave him. It has nothing to do with the fact that we slept together.”
Josie is quiet for a few moments. I think she picks up on my tone of voice by the way that her shoulders tighten. But as usual, she reads the situation correctly and doesn’t pry. I’m not going to say any more than that, and she’s respecting it.
“Okay. So I see two pathways here. Let’s discuss them,” she says, adjusting herself on the couch again. She’s sitting criss-cross, her feet tucked under her knees. “We know that, clearly, Izabel wants you just as much as you want her, but she’s conflicted. So here are your options.” She holds up a finger. “Option one, do not give up on her, no matter how bad you wantto or how bad it hurts. You show her you love her and hope to God that’s enough, and she’ll realize it before it’s too late.
“Or Option two, just move on. There are lots of?—”
“There will never be anyone else,” I cut her off, my voice firm. “So, I have to go with option one.”
“Okay, then. There you go. Stick with it. If things are as bad as you’re not telling me, she needs you now more than ever. Do not give up hope on her. At the very least, she’ll need you as her friend.”
The idea of being just friends with Izabel is the last thing I want. But I understand what Josie is saying. All I can do is let her know that I’m here. I’ll always be here for her, no matter what. And maybe someday that will be enough. Or it won’t.
I’m prepared for either. It would kill me if she marries Mark without a glance back, but I’m hoping that one day, hopefully soon, Izabel will be able to recognize that I’m what she needs. What she wants. Just like Josie said, love is messy, it’s ugly. But I’m not going to give up on my love for Izabel. I can’t. I’d move mountains for this girl.
“So now that we have that figured out, what now?” Josie asks. I’m still not trustworthy enough to be left on my own in a mood like this. Even though she’s talked me through it, the idea of drowning out the pain in a bottle of Jack is still tremendously appealing.
I shrug and nod to the TV. “Want to play video games?” That will help get my mind off of this whole situation. Maybe I could actually relax for a while.
