Page 74 of Liberating Bells
A grin splits across Josie’s face, and she nods. “That sounds great. You sure you’re ready for me to whoop your ass?”
I throw my head back and laugh as I get up and grab the controllers. “You wish. I’ve been doing this way longer than you have.”
“That’s what you think,” she says, giving my shoulder a shove as I sit down next to her. The game fires up, and soon our entire focus is on killing the enemy. I pretend all the bad guys are Mark.
26
IZABEL
My days seemto blur together before I can stop it from happening. As time passes after my trip with Ryan to Nashville, memories of that happiness I experienced there with Ryan fade with it.
Quickly, I fall into the routine of merely existing. I get up in the morning, I go to my workout classes, I eat a boring lunch to give me energy to get through the afternoon, and then I go home. On the weekends, I spend time with Mark, trying to pretend that everything is okay when it’s really not.
Before I can wrap my head around it, we close on our new house. Mark is adamant that we move in as quickly as possible. He even helps me pack up all my boxes from my apartment and get everything settled. I think we might set the record for the fastest move-in time. The week after closing feels like a time warp. I hardly have the chance to breathe, let alone process the big changes we are going through.
Though all my boxes are unpacked, and all my clothes and accessories placed neatly in my closet, it still doesn’t feel like home. As soon as we moved in, I claimed the guest bedroom as my own, much to Mark’s annoyance. He finally let it go after I managed to convince him I wanted to wait until after thewedding to move into the primary bedroom, when really I just couldn’t stand the thought of sharing a bed with him.
Even after moving in together, Mark has been in rare form lately, constantly asking me what I’m doing, or where I’m going. Even when I’m off to the grocery store, he’s interrogating me before and afterwards, as if trying to make sure I’m telling him the truth. It’s enough to make me dread going anywhere at all.
He is particularly suspicious whenever I tell him that I’m going to hang out with Juliet. And the questioning and overall lack of trust from him has me walking on eggshells at all hours of the day. I never know when he’s going to fall into another one of his fits and lose his temper with me.
It’s something that has me fearful to reach out to anyone, even the people closest to me. I haven’t spoken to my parents or my sister in weeks, always shying away whenever they ask to come over and spend time with Mark and myself. I always have a number of excuses at the ready. I don’t want them to see what my life has become. I can’t imagine how disappointed they would be in me.
Sage already hates Mark. I’m sure she’d hate me just as much for going along with his games if she knew. Which is why she can never know.
The feeling of solitude is slowly settling in.
Made even worse by Mark’s pretense that everything between us is okay.
That’s the opposite of what it is. I’m skating around him as much as possible, trying to stay out of his path and any potential altercation.
I crave having my own space, away from him. He’s too overbearing at all other times that the thought of falling asleep knowing he’s in the next room sends a deep sense of unease careening through my body. The words he said to me afterreturning from Nashville still echo in my mind, festering and reminding me that any type of reprieve is hopeless.
I will go after your little boyfriend and kill him. And then no one will be able to save you.
Even now, as I walk down the sidewalk, toward my favorite little coffee shop, they play on repeat through my memories. I can still hear how vicious his tone was, as he ensured that I knew he wasn’t bluffing.
Though the afternoon is warm, a shiver runs down my spine, but I try to dampen it, choosing to focus on my main mission for today.
Juliet and I are meeting up for coffee to discuss wedding details. Though she’s still not the happiest camper about Mark and me getting married, she agreed to be my Matron of Honor. We’re meeting up today to talk about some of the finer details that I’m expected to nail out. I haven’t picked out a dress yet, but I figure worst-case scenario I can order something online.
It’s depressing to think that I’m so uninterested in my impending wedding.
I have barely spoken to Ryan since we returned, though he’s reached out a few times. I feel too guilty, and I’m scared to press the limits of Mark’s patience. He already doesn’t trust me to go to on measly errands. I’m afraid of what other small freedoms he’ll take from me if he finds out that I’m going behind his back again.
It’s not something I’m happy about. I regret now more than ever not listening to Ryan’s and Juliet’s concerns about Mark. I had been blinded by the performance he seemed to always put on when I was around, and now it’s too late.
I feel completely and utterly trapped within my own life.
And it’s miserable.
Hopefully, spending time with Juliet this afternoon will help brighten up my perspective—but I doubt it.
When I open the door to the coffee shop, the small bell jingles, announcing my entrance. I look around, not spotting Juliet here yet. I suspect she’ll be here any minute, so instead of grabbing a table right away, I walk up to the counter, ordering our drinks so they’ll be ready when she gets here.
I get a kind smile from the employee standing behind the counter as I rattle off my order and Juliet’s, and then order us both a dessert as a special treat.
As I’m turning away from the counter, I’m stuffing the receipt into my wallet. My hair falls over my face like a curtain, blocking my line of sight in front of me. Before I have a chance to catch myself, I’m running right into someone.
