Page 86 of Liberating Bells
Ryan’s eyebrows now pull together in confusion. “If that’s what you want, of course.”
I twist my fingers together tightly and bite my lip. “I just don’t want to jump in too deep, too fast,” I say. It sounds a little absurd, but I don't want to rush things.
Ryan’s expression softens, and he nods. “Bells, you’ve been through a lot. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to meet any expectations with me. You call the shots here, okay? We’ll go at whatever pace you want.”
I’m shocked at how easily Ryan is willing to drop everything to let me into his life. Ever since he returned, I feel like I’ve been nothing but a burden to him, but now, here he is, willing to lay everything down to make sure I feel safe and comfortable.
“You’re amazing, Ryan. And I feel like I’ve really not been fair to you over the last few years, but I want to be better for you. I want to be someone who deserves your kindness and your love. Do you think we could start over? A clean slate?”
Ryan moves toward me and puts a finger under my chin, locking our eyes. “Whatever you need, Bells, I’ll be here for you.”
“I really don’t deserve you.”
He gives me a wry smile and presses his lips to mine in a tender kiss. “That’s not your call. And I say you do. We belong together. The rest doesn’t matter.”
Ryan turns around and picks up my suitcase again, giving me a wink before walking into the guest bedroom right next door. He sets it down and then turns to me. “I’ll let you rest. You’vehad a long day.” He presses another kiss to my forehead. “Let me know if you need anything, I’ll just be out here.”
When he makes a move to close the door, I stop him. “Ryan?” He pauses and looks at me. “Thank you.”
Ryan gives me a gentle smile. “Get some rest, Bells.” He closes the door all the way then, leaving me alone.
I get my things settled, and then crawl into bed. I’m suddenly exhausted. The events over the last week have wiped me out. I curl up under the covers and situate my pillows so they’re perfect.
From out in the living room, I hear Ryan answer his phone. He’s trying to be quiet, but his deep voice travels down the hallway. “Hello? Yes, she’s here with me. She’s fine. Yeah, Juliet, don’t worry. I’ll keep her safe.”
I press my head into my pillow and smile. Ryan’s words wrap around me like a blanket. I don’t think I’ve felt this kind of contentment in a long, long time. Though I know Mark is still out there somewhere, I feel a sense of ease that is unfamiliar. There’s something about being here with Ryan just around the corner that assures me everything will be okay.
Mark may come after me, or even Ryan, still. That’s a very real possibility. But for now, all that matters is that I’m away from him. For now, I can let my mind and defenses rest. I have every confidence in the man down the hall following through on his promise to my best friend.
I’m safe. I’m finally safe.
31
RYAN
I joltawake at the sound of loud sound echoing throughout my apartment. Sitting up quickly, I throw the covers off and run out of my bedroom. My feet hit the floor, propelling me forward. My heartbeat thrums with anxiety.Bells.
I knew I should have insisted she sleep with me last night. What if Mark broke in? What if he got to her? I checked and triple checked the apartment locks before going to sleep; I was so paranoid. When I step out into the hallway, I see the guest bedroom door open, the bed made. Where is she?
I find her in the kitchen, picking up the pans that are scattered across the tile floor. My heart stutters, and I allow myself to take a deep breath. Izabel stands up and looks at me with wide blue eyes before they roam across my chest. I didn’t have time to throw on a shirt in my initial panic.
“What are you doing?” I ask her.
Izabel looks at the counter where she has a few ingredients laid out, and then looks at me again before dropping her eyes to the ground. “I thought I’d make breakfast. I’m sorry. I should have asked you first. I can just clean this up.” She brings her hands around in front of her, wringing her fingers together.
I narrow my eyes and move toward her. “Hey…” She looks back up at me. “Don’t apologize. Do you need help cooking?”
She looks down at the floor again. “No. Your pots and pans were just all crammed into the cabinet, and I couldn’t get them out. And then they went everywhere. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I rub the back of my neck. “Don’t be. What are you making?”
“French toast. Is that okay? I can make something else if you want,” she says quickly.
I give her a reassuring smile and shake my head. “No, French toast sounds great.” I move to sit down at the breakfast bar in my kitchen. “Did you sleep okay?” I glance at the clock on the microwave—nine a.m.
Izabel nods her head and goes to her mixing bowl, dropping a slice of bread into her concoction. “Honestly? I slept better than I have in years. Despite everything.”
“Has Mark tried to contact you yet?” I ask hesitantly.
