Page 26 of Liberating Bells
Today was just a bad day. She needed a friend, and I blew it. I lost my temper, and I alienated her even more. I cannot let that happen again. I’m no better than I believe Mark to be if I trap her in a situation like that.
I have to be better.
It doesn’t matter that having her against me was the best feeling in the world. It doesn’t matter that I was two seconds away from throwing her over my shoulder and taking her to bed, showing her just how much Iwasn’tover her, how much Iloveher right now, not only in the past. Feeling her against me, in my arms, has me going crazy. I haven’t wanted anyone or anything as badly as I want her for a long time.
It doesn’t matter because that’s not what she wants.
She’s not mine. Not anymore.
I want her back, but I am not going to force her into anything. I just have to let her know that I’m here. I’ll always be here for her. I need to get my emotions in check next time she comes to me with something. I won’t allow myself to get mad and push her away again.
Maybe if I can control myself and show her I’m here, she’ll come around for good. Perhaps she’ll remember what it’s like to have someone love her like she deserves.
I don’t know what Mark has done to her. I don’t know how life brought her here, but I will get her back. I’ll bring back that version of Bells I love so much. But I have to be smart. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m in for the long haul. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be for her, and maybe someday she’ll see that I’m it for her, like she’s it for me.
I didn’t come home for Izabel, but now I realize that maybe there isn’t home without her.
10
RYAN
“And then I said,just because I’m younger than you doesn’t mean I can’t still fire your ass!” Teddy rants on the other end of the phone.
I roll my eyes at my friend, thankful he can’t see me. “You really showed them, Teddy,” I say, attempting to sound supportive.
Teddy called this morning to tell me all about his newest venture. He’s trying to add another corporation to the Bates Industries umbrella.
“I hope so. Just because my dad was old as dirt when he started the company doesn’t mean that I have to be old and gray to know what I’m doing! I mean, geez, I’ve been in the industry since I was in high school.” He groans. “And I’m almost forty, for Christ’s sake! It’s not like I’m some spring chicken!”
“I hear ya, buddy,” I say as I mindlessly scroll through my emails, swiveling back and forth in my desk chair. I’m only half-listening to his rant. The rest of my brain is still stuck on this past weekend. Izabel storming my condo, our fight. The kiss…
It’s been on a constant replay since she walked out of my house that night.
Teddy sighs. “These stuffy old guys are getting to me. But anyway, I digress. How’s business going for you?”
“It’s good,” I tell him. “I’ve got groundbreaking coming up this weekend on a personal project of mine, and I’ve been having other projects rolling in one after the other.”
I hear Teddy mutter something on the other line to his secretary. “That’s great. Hey, speaking of projects. I’d like you to come to Nashville to speak with the board about the HQ deal.”
I nod, although he can’t see me. I’ve been expecting this. Teddy has been on board with my start-up business since I first approached him. The Board of Bates Industries? Not so much. When Teddy approached them about hiring me to help re-design the Midwest branch, they weren’t terribly thrilled. They would much rather go with an established company with a good rapport. I can’t really hold it against them. I technically have been hired already, but they just seem to be dragging their feet with the full green light.
“Yeah, when were you thinking?”
Teddy rustles some papers. “Probably closer to the end of June. We’re booked solid until then, and it’s not like the project needs to be rushed.”
“I’ll have to check those dates. I need to see when soccer tryouts and practices are supposed to start.”
A pause lingers on the other end of the phone. “Soccer tryouts?”
“Yeah, I’m going to be coaching my old high school team,” I tell him.
“You’re really adjusting well to small-town life, huh, Ry?” Teddy teases me, amusement lacing his tone. “Speaking of...how is my little sis-in-law? I’m guessing you sought her out right away.”
I groan and drop my forehead into my hand. “She’s fine, Teddy. I don’t know. You know she’s getting married, right?”
Teddy was well aware of the Izabel drama. He was one of my closest friends while I was living overseas, so he had a front-row seat to the aftermath of our breakup.
Not to mention, he’s married to Izabel’s sister.
