Page 41 of Liberating Bells
“I think—” I pause, choosing my words carefully. “I think we need to maybe look into couples counseling. Before the wedding.”
“Anything,” Mark assures me. “Anything you need, I’ll do it. I just can’t lose you. You’re everything to me, baby.”
You’re everything to me. His words trigger memories from last night. Mark trying to convince me that I don’t love him the same amount as he loves me. His hand gripping the back of my head and pulling at my hair. His forceful kissing.
“Where are you, Izabel? I need to see you.”
I find Ryan’s eyes again, and he gives a firm shake of his head.Donottell him.
“I’m at a friend’s house. I think it’s probably best that we have some space for a while.”
“Which friend?” I can hear the suspicion in his voice.
“Juliet.”
The lie flows out of me seamlessly. I know Juliet will cover for me without a moment’s notice, so I feel safe doing it. Mark would flip his lid if he knew I was with Ryan after everything. If he knew that I shared a bed with Ryan last night…
But he won’t know. He won’t find out.
“Okay,” he concedes. “Just...Izabel, promise me you’ll give me another chance. I swear, the only reason I acted that way was because I care about youso much.”
“I know. I promise.”
“Good. I love you, baby.”
I let my eyes close and relish the sound of his words. They don’t warm me like they usually do, but I convince myself that I’m still shaken up from last night. We’ll get through this. We’ve already been through so much together.
“I love you, too, Mark.”
He lets out a sigh of relief and tells me he’ll speak with me soon. Then he hangs up, and I’m left alone in the kitchen with Ryan again. He’s polished off his breakfast and is leaning back against the stool, coffee mug in his hand. He’s watching me, but his expression is blank.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around my middle, careful not to over-extend my shoulder.
He pulls his eyebrows in. “Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I feel like that’s what I should do.”
“Well, don’t,” Ryan says as he sets his mug on the counter and stands up, walking over to me. Without my heels on, I only come up to his shoulders. Ryan carefully runs his hands down my arms and unlocks them from around me. He links our fingers together and bends his head slightly, capturing my eyes with his own.
His gaze is sincere as he looks me up and down. “Izabel, all I care about is that you’re happy and healthy andsafe. To be perfectly honest, I am not thrilled about what I saw last night. You deserve so much better than that.”
“Mark’s never been like that before. He said he just got overwhelmed.”
“And what’s to say that he won’t get ‘overwhelmed’ again?” he asks. “You should never, ever be in his line of fire, and I’m worried that you will be. These things don’t usually just happen once.”
His intense stare makes me feel like I’m being stripped bare. Ryan has never looked at me so seriously before. A part of me deep down knows he’s right, that statistically, abusive partners will revert into the same patterns. But Mark’s not abusive. Before tonight, Mark has never even physically hurt me before. It was just a fluke. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt based on everything else I know about him.
“He promised to be better.”
Ryan drops his hands from my arms until we’re no longer touching. “If that’s what you want…”
I look him square in the eye and muster all my courage. “It is.”
He presses his lips together and takes a step back. “Then, by all means, go get it.”
“Ryan, about last night...when we were in bed…”
He waves his hand and shakes his head. “Forgotten. You were going through a lot last night. Emotions were high. And I think there will always be that connection between us. But it’s in the past.”
