Page 76 of Liberating Bells
I want to beg and plead for him to understand, because I can see it all over his face that he doesn’t. I wouldn’t either, if I were him. But there’s no way I can tell him. He means too much for me to risk putting him in direct harm like that.
So I don’t say anything else.
Ryan’s eyes crinkle in the corners and his jaw flexes. “Right. Well, enjoy. I’ll see you around.”
Before I have a chance to say anything, Ryan is getting up from his seat and taking a step toward me. He places his hand on my shoulder, giving me a meaningful look before letting me go and walking out of the shop. He waves a hand to Juliet, stopping to say a few quick words to her.
A few minutes later, Juliet gives Ryan a hug, and then jogs into the shop. Ryan stands there on the sidewalk by himself, staring down.
“Sorry about that,” Juliet says, as she stuffs her phone into her purse. “That was Liam having an absolute meltdown because Ashton won’t go down for his nap. I swear you’d thinkhewas the toddler sometimes.”
I chuckle and slide her coffee across the table. She takes it gratefully and then gives me a quizzical look. “Alright, so let’s get started so we can finish it.”
I laugh again and reach for my bag, pulling out a notebook that has a checklist of things I need to finish before the wedding. My eyes travel back up from the table to the window, where Ryan’s still standing. Juliet is talking about something, but I’m distracted by him. Now he has his head turned up to the sky, as if taking in the rays from the sun. My chest aches as I watch him, and I yearn to go grab him and bring him back inside so I can spend more time with him.
But I know how terrible an idea that would be.
When he’s finally ready, Ryan’s shoulders drop a little, and he walks out of my line of sight. And the minute he’s gone, I feel his distance in every cell of my body. As soon as that happens, the loneliness and solitude seep back into me and my throat feels tight.
But I swallow it down and turn my attention back toward my friend, knowing that this is just the way things have to be now.
That doesn’t mean I have to like it.
27
IZABEL
The last fewweeks of summer fly by, and before I know it, it's the first day of school. I’m up before the sun to get to the high school about an hour before classes start. I head out of our guest bedroom and into our kitchen, adjusting my blouse tucked into a modest pencil skirt. Mark is seated at the breakfast bar watching me, a grin etched over his face. I stop in my tracks and look at him.
“Good morning, sexy,” he says, eyeing me up and down.
I offer him a timid smile and move into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, I grab a bottle of water. “I wasn’t expecting to see you this morning.”
Usually, Mark is gone by the time I get up. I’ve got it timed down to the minute. He goes to the gym and then straight to his law firm to get started for the day, and he doesn’t typically get home until close to six in the evening. Then we'll sit and have dinner before each heading to our respective bedrooms for the night. We barely speak to each other. I can’t find it inside myself to make any additional effort. His threat lingers over my head like a storm cloud, and until I can figure out a way to get out from under his control, I toe the line, hoping that’s enough.
“I decided to go in late today. I wanted to see you off on your first day of classes. Also, I got you something.” He eyes a black box sitting on the counter in front of him.
My stomach tightens as I near him. It's another jewelry box. The rock around my neck already feels heavy to me. Mark has insisted that I wear it for my first day, and I’m not sure if I’m emotionally prepared for another extravagant gift. I reluctantly reach for the box and open it, my mouth going dry at its contents.
Inside is a gorgeous diamond tennis bracelet. I run my fingers over it and glance up at Mark, who looks like a child on Christmas. “Do you like it?” he asks. “I thought it would match well with your necklace.”
“Mark,” I say, at a loss for words. “This is too much.”
“Nonsense,” he responds, standing up from the breakfast bar. He walks over to me and takes the bracelet from me. Working the clasp, he reaches for my wrist so he can fasten it. “You should be dripping in diamonds, because that’s how much you mean to me. There, look at that,” he says, holding out my hand for me to see. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.” He leans down and kisses me on the tip of my nose.
I twist my wrist around, examining the new jewelry. Itispretty. I force a smile, hoping that it comes off as appreciative. “Thank you, Mark.”
“You’re welcome, baby,” he says with a grin. “Okay, now you better head out. Don’t want to be tardy for your first day.” He gives my ass a swat, and I jump. I’m still not comfortable with this version of playful Mark. He is delusional if he thinks that things between us are fine, but that seems to be the way he’s acting.
I find the rest of my things and head out the door without saying much more to him. Communication has been somewhat forced between us, mostly by my doing. Mark keeps chalking itup to stress about the wedding, but it’s not. I have nothing I want to talk to him about. We make small talk over dinners. I’ll ask him about his day, and then he goes off on long tangents, telling me all the gritty details. But he never asks about my day. Not that I even want him to. When he does ask, it usually ends with him admonishing me for something I said or did.
I’m playing the role of a perfect housewife. I haven’t been able to figure out a way to escape him without there being severe repercussions. Until I can, this is what I have to do.
I listen to my favorite podcast on the drive to work. Our new house is relatively close to Bennett, so it’s not a long drive. I park in my designated staff spot and reach for my purse and school bag. A few of my colleagues are heading into the building as I am, and we chat on our way. I’ve seen them all a few times over the summer, but today is fresh and exciting. It’s the first day of school!
The hallways are empty; we likely won’t see any of the boys until closer to eight. Bennett is a boarding school with dorms. The majority of our students stay on campus in the dormitories, but a few commute. Once they show up, though, these halls will be echoing with laughter.
I settle in my room and boot up my computer. While waiting, I pull out my lesson plan book and go over my first few plans again. Today we’ll just be talking about the syllabus and course expectations. Still, I want to be prepared just in case my students have questions about what is to come this semester.
