Page 1 of Everything In Between
ONE
jersey
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
“Thank you,Milwaukee. You’ve given me a night to remember!”
Adrenaline courses through me with a familiar and exhilarating hum. The last few moments are here. I hit my mark, right where the lift is located. I take another huge bow before standing up tall and waving my arm high above my head. As I descend beneath the stage, confetti falls from the roof and the colorful lights twirl in circles. I catch the last final glimpses of my fans waving back at me before I’m lowered out of view.
The roar of the crowd echoes in my ears, and as soon as the lift stops below the stage, the exhaustion of the pressure from the show hits me light a freight train. My knees wobble and my shoulders ache but even that’s not enough to deter the gratitude filling me. I’m so thankful to be the one up there performing, making memories for my fans and putting on a show for them to remember. Even though the night is finished, I’ll hold these memories close for many nights to come.
Blinking away the emotions from those last few moments of the show, I center myself again, taking a few deep breaths and counting down from fifteen. Before I make it to one, Iam bombarded with the whirlwind of the after-show processes. My tech managers reach for my earpieces and my microphone, stowing them away safely until our next show. Beside me, my dancers chatter excitedly, hugging each other and sharing high-fives at another show successfully finished.
Eyes trailing over the crew that surrounds us, I search for the familiar blue eyes belonging to my personal assistant-slash-best friend.
“Jersey!” I snap my head around at the sound of Bethany’s voice only to find her right behind me, a proud smile on her face. “Congratulations!”
She hurries in and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “There you are,” I say, sagging against her in relief. Arm tightening around me, she hurries me away from the backstage craziness and into the green rooms. “I was starting to get worried you wouldn’t come to my rescue.”
Bethany pats my shoulder affectionately. “You know I’ll always have your back.”
The stillness of the green room wraps me up like a warm hug and I feel like I can finally breathe. There’s nothing I love more than being up on stage and performing my heart out, but the energy required to do so wears on me. Once she shuts the door, I fall into the plush sofa that travels with us when we’re on the road and take a big breath that hurts my lungs. My muscles are screaming at me and my skin prickles with the adrenaline crash.
Bethany stands by the door with her hands on her hips. “You look exhausted.”
I fight out a laugh. “Gee, thanks. Every pop star dreams of hearing that once she’s finished her twenty-fifth show on her cross-country stadium tour.”
“You’re killing it out there. But I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to burn yourself out,” she says, and I catch onto her concern.
I exhale and give her as big a smile as I can muster. “Thank you. Going from one extreme to another definitely wipes me out.”
“Get a little whiplash going from the highs of performing on stage to the chaos of being handled backstage?”
I chuckle and nod. “Exactly that.”
“You really need to take actual time for yourself. I’m talking about no work whatsoever.”
I frown, picturing my calendar in my head and the lack of wiggle room. “I’m not sure I would even know what that looks like. And really, that’s not up to me.” A bitter taste floods my mouth with that statement. “Callum’s mentioned booking recording studio time for the rest of the year to finish the next album, so he’s definitely not open to offering me time off.”
Bethany purses her lips off to the side at the mention of my manager. The room falls quiet between us. My admission is a heavy reminder that I’m a pawn in the grand scheme of things.
“Speaking of, Cal is going to be pissed at you for that little stunt you pulled tonight,” Bethany says.
“Oh, no doubt I’ll get an ear full at some point. I need to gear myself up for the scolding,” I mutter and then sigh, “but I’m going to get out of these clothes.”
Bethany reaches for my post-show bag full of my comfiest clothes and hands it to me. I disappear into the adjacent bathroom and get out of the sparkly body suit. My skin is a little damp still from the dancing and the warm lights, but after rinsing and toweling off the sweat from the show, I feel good as new. I pull on my pair of sweatpants, an oversized shirt, and my fuzzy boots—my secret ingredient to feeling more comfortable. Digging through my bag of toiletries, I find my face wash and hairbrush. Once the makeup is off, my face is clean, and my hair brushed through, I can finally relax.
After gathering up the show items for the costume department to put away, I step out of the bathroom to see Bethany standing there holding my favorite post-show snack with a cheeky grin on her face.
“Figured you’d be starving by now.” She hands the packages over and takes the clothes from me.
“You’re my favorite,” I announce, unscrewing the lid of peanut butter and scooping some out with an Oreo. The combination of chocolate and peanut butter explodes against my tastebuds.
“You’re my favorite too.” Bethany hangs up the bodysuit on the rack next to the rest of my costumes. “Plus, we’ve been doing this a long time. I know when you’re in need of comfort food.”
“That you do. And Ilove it!” I sing as I help myself to another hearty serving of peanut butter and moan at the absolute delight this treat brings me. It’s the best after-show snack when I’m a little woozy from the lights and the physical exertion of dancing on stage for two and a half hours.
I take out a few more cookies, following the same routine. Bethany even helps herself to one or two. When my post-show sugar craving has been met, I relax into the cushions and close my eyes. In a little less than an hour, I’ll be shuttled away from the stadium to the airstrip where I’ll fly back to LA on my private jet. Come Monday, I’ll be back at the studio ready to work. The turnaround while on tour can be grueling.
