Page 67 of Everything In Between
“Why? I’ll be right next to you the whole time.” I lean forward and nuzzle behind her ear with my nose, curious why this side of her is making an appearance today. “I would never let anythinghappen to you. Besides, everyone knows we’ve been seeing each other. It’s no secret.”
She turns thoughtful. “Corey never wanted to go out. Mostly I think it was because my presence would garner more attention than his, and he hated feeling like he always came in second to me.”
I give her a heady look. “I don’t mind coming in second to you. Not now, not ever.”
Her lips turn up in the corners. “He always felt the need to point out that they only liked me because of the music Callum picked out for me. That I wouldn’t be where I am if I had used my own songs.”
“Somehow, I can’t see that being the case. I’m sure your music would garner just as much, if not more, love and accolades.”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s right.” She runs her finger over some words she’s written in her notebook, a forlorn expression now on her beautiful features.
“Why would you say that?”
She chuckles. “Because it’s true? I’ll never be the Christina, or the Taylor, or even the Britney.”
“What are you talking about? You already are. Have you not been paying attention to the sold out stadiums or the platinum albums? You’re America’s sweetheart,” I argue.
“What if I don’t want to be that anymore?” Her voice is small, as if she’s afraid to say it out loud. Her eyes hold a sense of guardedness as she watches me, waiting for my reaction.
I fall silent as her quiet admission lays heavy between us, giving it the space it needs. Carefully, I ask, “Then what do you want to be?”
“I want to be me. I want to write and sing the songs that I want. And those may be heavier and edgier than what people know me for. I just don’t know how that will go over. I’veprobably written five albums worth of my own songs—though none of them have ever gotten recognition, nor will they if Callum has anything to do with it.”
“Let me hear one.”
She pauses, her eyes going wide with a sense of alarm. “What?”
“I want to hear one. Play for me.” My lips twitch into a smile thinking about getting to hear my own personal Jersey concert. I’ve been aching to hear her velvety voice again. And to have her sing for me in an intimate setting? I might spontaneously combust.
She studies my face, and for a moment I think she’s considering it, but then her shoulders fall. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” I ask her, disappointment settling in my chest.
“I’ll play you one when it’s just the two of us sometime. Away fromhere.” She nibbles on her lower lip and I wonder what she’s not telling me. Her gaze darts to the door again and then falls back on me. “There’re a lot of people in this city who only see me as a pawn, and they only give me so much freedom. I’ve tried to convince them to let me try with my own words and they’ve laughed in my face. I’m not about to try again. At least not yet. I have to protect that part of me.”
I ponder her words, hating that she questions if she has any power when she should have it all. This label should be falling at her feet, begging for her to give them the time of day, but here she is, feeling like a prisoner in her own gold-plated life.
I hate that for her, and I resolve to contribute in whatever way I can to give her back the power of her voice.
“Go out with me tonight,” I suggest again. “The only way for you to be the version of yourself that you want to be is to do it. You have to be willing to step into the light, make yourself uncomfortable, and reach for that power that you so desperately want. You’ve gotta take it yourself.”
Her eyes shine as she listens intently to what I’m telling her. “What if I can’t?”
“Then I’ll be right behind you, showing you that you can.”
TWENTY-FIVE
jersey
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 3
“What is he doing here?”Cal asks dryly when Hayes walks into the recording booth behind me.
I glance at him over my shoulder before turning back to Cal. “I thought Hayes could hang out while we recorded today.”
Cal frowns. “No.”
“No?” I repeat, confused. “There are always a ton of people in the recording sessions.”
