Page 54 of The Burdens We Share
Oooooh, now I’m pissed. “This is not his fault, Selene. Do not ever blame him for this. This was my fault and I take full responsibility for it.”
Selene’s gaze shifts to meet mine and Brody asserts, “Selene, how can you say that?”
Selene growls, “Because I’m livid that this went on and I didn’t know! I know everything all the time, often before it even happens and I didn’t knowthis. I missed this! How could I have missed this?” Her voice cracks at the end and vulnerability slips in. She looks less angry at me and more angry at herself. Pain slices through me at the thought of what I’m doing to the people I care about.
I reassure her, “It isn’t your fault.”
Selene has tears in her eyes, “You’re one of my best friends. You aren’t just a client. Seeing you like this is killing me, especially because if I had noticed sooner, I could’ve helped you. I’ve just been so caught up in my own shit.”
Now that she mentions it, Selene hasn’t been as present lately.Whatever she has going on, she hasn’t shared it with us. “I did a really good job of hiding it. Even from myself.”
Aria asks, “How did this happen?”
Anxiousness swirls around my gut as I think back to the beginning. Sensing my nerves, Dallas reaches for my hand and gently squeezes in encouragement. I take a long breath before I tell the truth. “About a month or two ago, when I worked the Vivianne runway show, Nara pulled me aside after I walked and started ripping into me about my walk, my appearance, everything. I thought it was just Nara being Nara, ridiculing me to nitpick and annoy me. I was so used to her doing it and I never thought something was wrong with me or my body.
“But then Nara compared me to Cami Nolan, supermodel of all supermodels, and she got in my head and convinced me I needed to lose weight if I wanted to look like Cami. If I wanted tobe her,” tears roll down my cheek as I tell the story.
Dallas’ hand is tight around mine and he inserts, anger in his voice, “Why the fuck would you ever listen to Nara? She’s envious of the fact that you’re thriving in a career she no longer can succeed in and she’s also bitter because you look better than she ever could.” I want to believe him so badly. I trust Dallas and I know he’s right, there’s just that voice in the back of my head threatening to throw me off course. Dallas’ eyes are laser-focused on me as his voice deepens and he says lowly, “You do realize that you’re fucking perfect, right?”
I frown at him and Brody adds, “Iv, he’s right. You’re drop-dead gorgeous and I’m not just saying that because you’re my best friend. You really are gorgeous.”
Aria adds, “You’re like if Madison Beer and Lily Collins had a really sexy love baby.”
Brody rolls her eyes and throws in, “And you do realize your proportions to Cami’s are totally different, don’t you? Cami is like six feet tall. You’re a little girl. It isn’t even possible for youto look like her and that isn’t a bad thing at all.”
Dallas nods his agreement, “You were tiny before all of this even started and now all your ribs stick out and you look sick.”
I know he’s right. I know they’re all right. I look up at Selene and find tears on her cheeks. I stop breathing because when has Selene Stone ever cried? “Selene?” I whisper.
Everyone looks at her with wide eyes. Selene finally cracks, sobbing, “I set you up with Nara. I thought she would help you further your career, not try to kill you. This is all my fault.”
I gasp, “Oh my God, Selene! No!”
Aria pulls Selene into a hug, “Selene, don’t be ridiculous. You didn’t know.”
Selene wipes her cheeks and instead of tears, all I see is rage. There’s the killer manager I know and love. “Trust I will be decimating Nara’s career. When I’m through with her, she’d be lucky to get a job at a fucking taco truck.”
Brody stifles a laugh and I bite my lip, hiding a smile.
Selene continues, “You all think I’m playing, but I’m not. That bitch is done. Just wait. First, I’m coming after her clients, then I’m gonna get her blacklisted from the industry. After that, I’ll find something to sue her for and she’ll have no money coming in from the clients she’ll no longer have and she’ll be broke and penniless and miserable. She won’t even be able to afford all that botox shit she puts in her face and then she’ll be poorandugly!”
A laugh escapes Dallas’ throat and he stifles it with a cough. Selene is in rare form right now. Aria is grinning from ear to ear and Brody is covering her mouth to hide her smile. Aria chuckles, “Oh Selene, I do love it when you go all evil lawyer on us. Reminds me of when you blacklisted John Sweet for me,” she holds a hand against her chest in admiration.
Selene preens, “I would blacklist anyone for you girls.”
Brody claps, “Perfect, because I have a list.”
Dallas interrupts, “How about we talk about what actually matters here?” He looks at me towards the end of his question and all three of their faces go stark serious.
“You’re right,” Selene goes all business mode. “What happened next?”
I feel a stinging sensation in my eyes, not from tears, but from exhaustion. “She gave me a whole diet plan and workout routine. I followed it and here I am now,” I explain, a sad smile on my face.
Dallas brushes errant strands of hair from my face and Brody asks anxiously, “And how do you feel now?”
I shrug as I explain, “I would be lying if I said I was okay. The truth is that these things don’t just fix themselves. When you get into a habit and a mentality of hating yourself and your appearance, it doesn’t just go away overnight or with a simple intervention. I recognize I have a problem even if I don’t want to admit it and I’m willing to take the steps to get better, I just think it’s gonna be really hard because I know you guys don’t see what I see when I look at myself in the mirror.”
Aria nods, “We understand that. We’ll do anything to help you get better.”
