Page 60 of The Burdens We Share
He looks down at me as he carries me bridal style up the stairs, “I’m running us a hot shower and then we’re going to bed.”
I don’t protest because after what we just did, my legs feel like gelatin and I’m sore in all the right places. I just rest my head against his chest and close my eyes, smiling.
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AS PROMISED, DALLAS ORGANIZEDa show for me to perform. I’m no singer. That’s Brody’s thing, but I am a phenomenal bass player and I played bass in a lot of our band’s most well-known and famous songs. While I played, I tried to picture my father in my shoes, and the thought of accomplishing what he dreamed of doing but never got the chance to made it more special. And amidst all the faces in the crowd, I could only find one person’s eyes. Dallas.
Overall, our weekend was amazing. I’ll never forget it. We spent so much time talking and he really opened up to me in ways I never imagined. He told me so much about his mother and the childhood memories he had with her. From what he’s told me, she sounded like a truly wonderful and wholesomehuman being with so much love in her heart. Her memory reminds me of my father’s.
When we weren’t talking, we were having mind-blowing sex all over his apartment and when we were finished, we’d curl up on the couch and watch a movie or I’d work on some new bass melodies for potential songs. Sooner or later Satan’s Angels needs to put out a new album so why not?
We went back to LA after that weekend and since then we’ve been hopping back and forth between my house and Dallas’ house. We’ve settled into a routine that almost feels like we’re in some kind of relationship, but I’m not sure we are. He’s never mentioned anything, but I think I would like to be. Regardless, we haven’t had much time to dedicate to talking about these things because Dallas has been hellbent on finding my stalker. He spends so much time on his computer working and when I ask him what he’s up to, he starts talking in computer language about IP addresses, firewalls, encryptions, and all sorts of things I have no idea about. He and Harvey say they’re pretty close to finding my stalker which relaxes me but in a fucked up way, makes me wonder where Dallas and I will be when he’s finally caught.
It’s been two weeks since we’ve been back and pretty soon I’m gonna have to go back to set because we have to finish filming this movie. When that’s over, the girls and I decided to spend a lot of time in the studio working on a new album. I want to get back to modeling, but I’m a little nervous that I’ll somehow get triggered and my eating problems will get worse again. I’ve been so good and Dallas has been ensuring I get back to my old weight. I know these things take time, but I’m impressed with the progress I’ve made. I’ve gained a few pounds and while it’s made me anxious, Dallas has been there to reassure me.
“Little devil?” Dallas calls from downstairs.
I’m in the shower in his en-suite bathroom and call out, “Inthe shower!”
I rinse the suds from my hair, closing my eyes and when I open them Dallas is standing on the other side of the glass door. I scream because what the fuck? I wasn’t expecting him to be there because I didn’t hear him come in. I place a palm on my chest and take a long breath. “Sorry,” he starts stripping out of his clothes. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I relax as he enters the shower and wraps his arms around me, “It’s okay.”
He leans down and kisses me before he informs me, “Harvey is coming over in a little. We think we have a good lead on the stalker.”
I force a smile, “Good.” I twist out of his arms and turn my back on him, rinsing the rest of the soap from my hair. The truth is that this is bittersweet. Of course, I want that man caught for all that he’s done and put me through. But part of me doesn’t want him caught because that means what I have with Dallas will change.
Dallas spins me around and presses me with a hard look, “What’s wrong? This is good news.”
I shrug, “I know.”
“So why don’t you look happy?”
I frown and swallow as I come clean, “I want him caught. I really do. I guess I’m just a little sad at the same time because I don’t want things between us to change and I feel like they will if he’s out of the equation.”
He tilts his head at me before a slow smile spreads on his lips. “Why would anything change between us?”
I chew my lip and don’t answer. His voice lowers and he adds, “When he’s no longer a problem, I don’t want things to change between us. I like what we have, maybe a little too much. I don’t think they have to change unless you want them to.”
My eyes widen. He wants to be with me after all of this. “Idon’t want them to change at all. I love what we have.”
Relief coasts across his face and he relaxes, “Good because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if you wanted to walk away from me. I don’t think I’d ever let you.”
I chuckle as I place my palms on his chest, leaning into his body, “I’m counting on it.”
He leans down and kisses me and I ask, “So we’re really doing this?”
He nods, “Yes, Little Devil. You and me.”
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DALLAS AND HARVEY WORKside by side on their computers, talking about codes and things. Brody came with Harvey and her and I have been catching up in the living room while the guys work. She brought her iPad with her and she’s been adding things to her Pinterest board for her wedding.
She flips the screen and shows me a wedding invitation with red accents, “Do we like this?”
I nod my approval, “We love that.”
She grins, adding it to her board. Her smile frowns as she focuses on her screen, “This wedding stuff is a lot of work. I didn’t realize how much goes into it.”
