Page 53 of The Burdens We Share
Oh my God. I didn’t even consider that I could’ve triggered that kind of pain inside of him. I didn’t even stop to consider what my stupid decisions could’ve done to him. I feel like the worst person who ever walked the planet. “I’m so sorry, Dallas. I never meant to do that to you, I just-” I sob and he’s holding me in an instant.
He’s seated on the bed beside me, holding me to his chest. “Shhh.” He tries to soothe me. “I didn’t tell you all of that so thatyou would feel guilty, Ivory. I told you because I want you to know that I haven’t felt fear like I did when you fainted since the night my mother died. I told you because I care so much about you and the thought of you hurt kills me. The thought that you could see yourself as anything but the way that I see you, tears me apart because you are fucking perfect to me, Ivory Aslan.”
I sob harder into his chest at his admission. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Just promise me you’ll get better,” he pleads with me.
I grip his dress shirt so tight in my hands and realize he’s wearing the same suit as yesterday. He never left my side the whole time I’ve been here. The thought warms my heart. How could this man who is so damaged, so cold, care so much for broken little Ivory Aslan? “You don’t understand what it’s like, Dallas,” I lament.
He strokes the back of my head tenderly, “I know. I don’t understand. But I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that I do understand and that I do everything in my power to help you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say again. “About your mother. I’m sorry you lost her and I’m so sorry you blame yourself for it. That burden isn’t yours to carry, Dallas.”
“It is, but I’ve accepted it.”
I ask, “Is he in jail?” I refer to his mother’s killer.
Dallas’ jaw clenches as if the thought of Calvin triggers his anger. “He was.”
I gasp, “They let him out?”
“No. He died,” Dallas spits.
It seems so unfair that he escaped his sentence so easily. Lita chose to save Dallas’ life and I didn’t know her, but from that small piece of information, I know that she was a good person. Her choice doesn’t reflect on Dallas or have anything to do with him so while I can understand that Calvin reacted to the deathof the woman he loved, I can’t understand why he would be so hellbent on hating Dallas that he would go as far as to kill his mother. I almost wish Calvin was alive so that he could continue to rot in jail.
He sighs, “Enough about him. I want to talk about you,” he changes the subject.
I lift my face up and he wipes the last of my tears from my cheeks as he vows, “I promise you, you aren’t alone. I’m going to be there with you every step of the way while you get better, okay?”
I give him a sad look, “This isn’t your burden to carry.”
He shakes his head, “You’re wrong. It’s ours to share now.” His voice is so affectionate, I just want to melt into it and him.
We just stare at each other in silence for a second, communicating in a way that we can’t with words. “Can you call the girls and Selene? It’s time I talk to them.”
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MY FRIENDS STARE ATme with pitying expressions on their faces, their lips sealed shut as we just stare at each other in silence, me in the hospital bed and them across from me. Dallas is at my side, seated in the chair next to my bed.
Selene stands with her arms crossed over her chest, her hip jutted out with a disappointed look on her face. I try not to look at her for too long because that look on her face being for me kills me.
I clear my throat, “Thank you for getting here so fast.” I try to break the ice.
Aria gives me a doubtful look, “Ivory, you know we would drop anything to be there for you. We would’ve been here sooner, but Dallas said you needed space.”
I sigh, “I know.”
Brody’s eyes look glassy as if she’s holding tears back andI realize she may be able to relate to what I’m going through. Not only was Brody attacked in her hotel room, but she also struggled with image issues. We have more in common than one would think. “What’s going on with you, Iv? We’re all so worried about you. You haven’t been yourself for weeks.”
I exhale, “I know.”
Selene snaps, “Are you just gonna say ‘I know’ to everything? Because Ivory, let me let you in on a little secret, okay? You don’t knowshit. If you did, you would never have done this to yourself.”
Brody sucks on a gasp and I wince at her words.
Dallas speaks up, his voice a clear warning, “Selene.”
Selene rounds on him next, “She was in your care while this was happening. How confident do you think that makes me in your capabilities?”
