Page 71 of Worse Fates
A wrinkle appears between his brows. “Being immortal is odd, Golden. Especially for a vampire. Unlike the other immortals like mages and demons, vampires don’t hold traditions, we observe and blend in, adopting the ways of that community or culture and then we leave without a single trace. We’re like footprints in the sand washed away by the tide. When I was a young man I never cared about leaving my mark on the world, but when you can’t…well, you start to miss being a part of something bigger.”
“And the sea is one big ecosystem, it’s even connected to the land. So, you’re connected that way. Right?”
Lucero runs his fingers through my hair. “Something like that, yes.”
In the comfort of my vampire and the lullaby sway of the documentarian’s voice, I wonder if I’ve ever left a mark anywhere. Probably not. I’m not important or clever. I’m not like Kai, Luuk or Apollo, whose tattoos change people’s lives. Yet…
“It’s pretty cheesy, but I’ve always liked making people laugh. Not like I think I’m a comedian, just…I dunno. I get a nice feeling when my friends back at the tattoo studio smile.” I look up at Lucero. “I bet you made your other soulmates smile. Same with Rurik and Ramy—maybe even Vidar, once upon a time. And you make me happy, too. I’m pretty certain no one’s building a statue of us anytime soon. But maybe think of that as your mark.”
One of Lucero’s arms tightens around my waist, the other hand cradles my crown as he leans forward for our mouths to meet. It’s not the overwhelming inferno of his usual demandingkisses—this is slow, thankful. Parting my lips, he seeks my every edge. Drinks my every moan and savours my attempt at returning what he gifts me.
When we’re done, my head finds his chest again and we watch dolphins chase down sea lions.
After one episode ends, and another begins, Lucero’s mood shifts away from the comfortable. “Golden, I have to tell you something.”
Glancing up, I find Lucero’s gaze conflicted. Fear enters me and I try to sit up. “Is Kai okay?”
“Oh, no, beautiful. He’s fine.” Lucero gently tugs me back down.
“Oh,” I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Then what is it?”
Lucero’s hand runs up and down my back, his other massaging my scalp, relaxing me until I all but melt. “Rurik found Jace’s phone, love.”
My body goes tense, nausea twisting my stomach. “Did he…I mean, what did he find?”
From the way Lucero holds me, I know.
“Rurik only saw one picture then handed it to me. I saw what Jace did to you, Golden.” Under his gentle care is a rage deep enough for whales to swim in.
I’m quiet for so long, my eyes trained on the TV, that another episode ends and starts. How to properly explain what happened? Why I stayed with a monster?
I squeeze my eyes shut. I guess from the start.
Chapter Twenty-Five - Golden
“Jace and I grew up in foster care. He’s a few years older and protected me like a big brother. He could’ve made me feel indebted, but he never did. And soon we became a real family, so when I turned eighteen it was no surprise he packed up all my shit and moved me in with him and his girlfriend, Monica.
“I loved Monica, too. She was so excited to show me my bedroom. They both said their home was complete now I was there. Their missing piece, Monica said. It was the first time in my life I felt safe, the first time I had a home. They didn’t push me to get a job either, wanting me to find something I loved, ya know. When I finally did get something at a chip shop, they both told me to keep my money.
“The first two years were great. No matter what anyone says, we were a real family. So when Jace lost his job we pulled together. Monica picked up extra hours, and Kai got me working the front desk at the tattoo studio. But Jace is a typical fucking guy—gotta be the provider and depending on his girlfriend and his kid brother fucked with his ego. He’d leave the flat all hours of the day, then vanish for days at a time. Suddenly talking about some woman he met called Emma. Monica was worried he was cheating. But it turned out he was going to a fight club Emma ran.
“The money Jace brought home was amazing, but he was getting weird. Becoming a possessive version of himself. He hated us leaving the flat, and if we didn’t tell him where we went, he’d fly into a shouting rage. The world was dangerous, he’d say. Only he could keep us safe. Despite all that, we still loved him. Jace was going through something and you don’t drop someone when they’re struggling.
“It was on my twenty-third birthday when…shit. Well, it was when everything fucking changed. He threw me a party and spent the night drinking hard. Then when everyone left Jace came into my room and—”
I pause.
Long and tense and wishing I could screw up this memory like a piece of paper and toss it. Not mine if I don’t have it, right?
Too bad the thing always comes right back.
“At first I thought he accidentally came into the wrong room—he was drunk, after all. I asked if he was okay, but he looked at me like…fuck, I’ve never been scared of him, Lucero. You gotta understand that, he’s a tough guy but notoncehas he even jokingly punched me. So when he came into my room, I wasn’t scared. And then he put his hands around my neck. And I still wasn’t scared. Not until I realised I was being strangled… he…” I hold back my tears. “Jace was who I went to when I needed someone. So, even when he was hurting me I…” I shut my eyes. “I called out his name for help.”
Lucero’s hand on my back, his fingers in my hair, keep me grounded—helping me continue telling my story.
“When it was over he went to leave, but…” I suck in a shaking breath. “I grabbed him and asked him to stay for a bit. Because I was scared, because I relied on him most. Because he–” blood pounds in my ears, “...because he’s my big brother, Lucero.”
I inhale my mates warmth, my breath shuddering on an exhale. He doesn’t let go of me, arms strong enough that maybe he never will.
