Page 18 of Shattered Dreams
So Annie looked at me like I hung the moon.
But Ava?
Ava looked at me like I could climb up there and grab it for her. Maybe that was the difference. Maybe I got tired of feeling like I wasn't enough for her. Annie made me feelbig. Ava made me feel like I had to be better. Iwantedto be better. I just...wasn't.
Ava was always too tired or drained from life in general to pay me the same sort of attention that she used to; I hated that.
She trusted me. Trusted mecompletely. And I broke that—No, I fucking shattered it.
For what? To feel like a big man again?
Fuck.
But once I'd started with Annie, it was hard to stop, and by then I was already in too deep. Annie had told me she was in love with me and began asking when I was going to leave Ava.
That was when I knew it wasn't real.
Leave Ava?
Nah, not ever going to happen.
The pictures of me and Annie are everywhere. Everyone's seen them. All my teammates. Every fan. Everyone Ava knows. I can’t even imagine her humiliation. It makes me want to put my fist through the wall.
Would we survive this?
I stare at the photo again, my heart aching as I realize the decision isn’t mine anymore.
It’s Ava's.
But I'm not giving up on her or on us. She'smine.Mywife. Myworld.
And I'll do whatever it takes.
7
AVA
"You need to do something; she won't even get off the sofa."
"What canIdo?!"
I lift my head sleepily, my cheek peeling off the fabric like I've fused to it, voices floating somewhere above me like I'm underwater. I smell like stale vodka and broken dreams. I haven't brushed my hair in days. I've become the cautionary tale—the woman left behind, replaced, discarded.
"It's been a week. She needs to see Poppy."
Poppy.
The name slices through the fog like a knife, and I sit up stiffly. My aunt is standing in front of me, arms crossed, that no-nonsense look on her face that makes me feel like I'm sixteen again. She looks like Mom did when she was mad—and that just makes my throat burn more.
The problem is, I don't have any fight left.
"Ava, get up. Go and get in the shower. I'm taking you to Scott's."
"I don't want to go to Scott's. Can't you bring Poppy here?" I mutter, rubbing at my eyes with a shaking hand.
"Ava, you have to go because it's good for you. Fresh air, change of scenery. You love Amanda, and Poppy loves it there. Just go and relax your mind for a bit—you know Roman won't dare show up there."
I glance to the side and see Shannon, the traitor, yanking the blanket off me like I'm a patient she's determined to save. My legs are hairy, my shirt's wrinkled beyond saving. And for one bleak second, I wonder if Roman got tired of seeing me like this.
