Page 77 of Christmas at the Movies
James sat on the edge of the bed, taking off his socks. ‘Glad you enjoyed it.’
‘So what did you think of Noa?’
‘He’s very …’ James tried to find a neutral word. ‘Charming.’
Sarah laughed as she brushed her hair. ‘You didn’t like him.’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t have to. I could tell you and Nick weren’t keen. But Noa’s been very good to me.’
‘I was just surprised you agreed to Holly being in the movie,’ said James, throwing his socks in the hamper. ‘We never discussed it.’
Sarah set her brush down and turned to face him. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I was kind of put on the spot. But I actually think we made a mistake by not letting Holly audition in the first place. She’s so talented. We shouldn’t stop her from doing the thing she loves. I don’t want to hold her back.’
As they got into bed, Sarah surprised him again by reaching for him under the duvet. ‘Hello, you,’ she whispered, slipping her hand under the waistband of his boxers.
James instantly forgot his grievance as their bodies found each other and moved together in a familiar rhythm. They both came quickly.
‘Sorry,’ said James, when he’d caught his breath. ‘It’s been a while.’
For months, his attempts to initiate sex had failed. Sarah never seemed to be in the mood.
‘That was great,’ said Sarah, rolling off him. ‘My libido is coming out of hibernation – the HRT must be starting to work.’
‘That’s good. I’ve missed this.’ He kissed her shoulder. ‘I’ve missedyou.’
Sarah sighed. ‘I don’t know why – I don’t feel very desirable these days.’ There was an audible pop of her knee as she shifted under the duvet. ‘See what I mean – my body is falling apart.’
James propped himself up on his elbow. ‘Sarah, your body is just as attractive to me now as it was when we were young.’
Sarah snorted dismissively. ‘You’re just saying that to make me feel better.’
‘No, I’m not. It’s true.’ He tenderly caressed her belly that had carried Holly and Nick, tracing her C-section scar up to her navel. His hand skimmed over her breasts that had nourished two babies. Sliding up her long neck,his thumb stroked her beautiful lips, the lines at each side evidence of her ready smile.
His own body had changed plenty, too. Despite his long cycles, he could no longer fit into his old jeans with a twenty-eight-inch waist. His spine ached in the morning until he did a few stretches and the backs of his hands were dappled with sun spots. But their bodies could still give each other pleasure – and that was something to celebrate.
‘Anyway, the part of you I find sexiest hasn’t changed a bit.’
‘Oh, yeah. What’s that?’ asked Sarah.
He kissed her forehead. ‘Your mind.’
Soon, Sarah was snoring gently on her side of the bed. But James couldn’t get to sleep. A troubling thought had crossedhismind. Was it the HRT that had revived Sarah’s libido? Or the attentions of a handsome Australian film director? Had Sarah been thinking about Noa when they made love tonight?
12th November 2011
The baby would not stop crying. Sarah checked his nappy – dry. She tried feeding him – again – but he spat her nipple out, as if it offended him. She put him on her shoulder to wind him, but he either didn’t need to burp or refused to. She tried rocking him, swaddling him, bathing him, singing to him, cuddling him, bouncing him on her lap, jiggling him on her hip. Nothing worked. On and on he cried.
She felt like she was losing her mind.
‘What’s wrong, Nicky?’ she begged, on the brink of tears herself. ‘How can I make it better?’
Nick just wailed, his whole body going stiff with a rage that turned his face red.
Holly had been an easy, placid baby. She’d been happy lying on a blanket, kicking her chubby legs under a baby gym as Sarah cooed and sang nursery rhymes. By four months, she was sleeping through the night. That first year had been an idyllic time as Sarah bonded with her daughter, who grew more adorable and affectionate every day.
Nothing about Nick had been easy – not even his conception. ‘Unexplained secondary infertility’, the doctor had called it. Once she’d finally got pregnant, Sarah had suffered from severe morning sickness that had carried on well into her third trimester. She’d spent the whole pregnancy worrying that she would miscarry again. She’d been monitored carefully because of her previous complications, but, as her due date drew closer, she was convinced that something would go wrong like last time. And in the end, it had.
